Some Things You Don’t Buy Used

Some Things You Don’t Buy Used

This episode starts with our sleep scores and somehow spirals into childhood illnesses, public school memories, and why Southern people can turn a double-wide into a luxury estate with enough porch additions and Home Depot lumber. We also relive some of our finest moments, including getting kicked out of Lowe's after making announcements over the intercom, debating whether private school kids are "kettle cooked," and questioning why Apple keeps making us buy charging blocks separately. Things only get more unhinged from there. We discuss the absolute horror of used sex toys being sold on Facebook Marketplace, traumatic dentist experiences, root canals, veneers, and why Landon was once threatened with a straitjacket at the dentist's office. Then we tackle the important issues: could you survive being vegan for a year? Were mosquitoes actually on Noah's Ark? Did God create cows specifically so we could enjoy filet mignon? And why does chunky peanut butter feel like a personal attack? Plus, we talk flip-flops, Southern church culture, weight loss journeys, Royal Caribbean buffets, and put each other through another round of Bloodline Brain Check that proves we might not actually be smarter than fifth graders. And of course, Cousin Counsel is back with relationship dilemmas involving secret subscriptions, social media insecurities, and engagement FOMO. If you've ever played on the display kitchens at Lowe's, lived with a junk drawer that won't close, or questioned why anyone would buy a used pelvic massager online… this episode is for you. Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.  Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter LETS GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)

Y'all Better Start Praying

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we're catching up after another weekend on the road and discussing the realities of traveling across the South, from long-haul road trips and festival crowds to the point where you finally decide you're too old to spend fourteen hours in a vehicle. We recap our time at Rock the Country, share some of the more interesting characters we encountered along the way, and debate whether there is any destination worth driving to when an airplane is an option. We also get into apartment life and the never-ending battle of trying to make a place feel like home. Landon has decided it's time for a complete redesign and has become convinced he can transform his apartment into a classic old-money masterpiece with the help of ChatGPT, while Riley remains unconvinced that a few brass accents and vintage photos can save some of the decorating choices currently hanging on the walls. Along the way, we tackle modern tipping culture and where the line should actually be drawn, discuss the strange ways people choose to help others, and dive into some of the uniquely Southern phrases and pronunciations that make absolutely no sense but somehow still survive generation after generation. We also debate whether the average person could actually land a commercial airplane during an emergency, why some people seem far too confident in skills they definitely do not possess, and how social media has convinced everyone they're an expert on everything. As always, things spiral into conversations about relationships, family dynamics, personal boundaries, and the kinds of situations that make you question what is going on in the world. From shocking dating revelations and relationship timelines to stories that will leave you genuinely speechless, this episode covers a little bit of everything. We wrap things up by talking about future plans, major purchases, and the dangerous combination of having access to the internet and enough confidence to convince yourself you need a brand-new vehicle immediately. If you've ever survived a miserable road trip, questioned modern tipping culture, attempted to redecorate your apartment, met someone who was way too confident in their abilities, or heard a story that made you stop and say "there is absolutely no way," this episode is for you. SPONSORS: ZBiotics: Go to zbiotics.com/BANTER to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use BANTER at checkout. Olive App: Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789 [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789]

Everyone is Replaceable (ft. Abby Lee Miller)

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we're joined by the one and only Abby Lee Miller, and from the moment she sits down, the conversation goes completely off the rails. Abby gives us a major life update, talks about what she's been up to since television, shares her thoughts on some of her former dancers, and opens up about recent health developments. We also dive into the realities of life after Dance Moms, what people still get wrong about her, and what's next for her moving forward. Of course, Landon wastes absolutely no time asking Abby how fast her wheelchair goes and immediately compares it to a Bugatti, which somehow launches us into one of the funniest conversations of the episode. Abby also relentlessly roasts Riley and Landon for never seeing a Broadway show, questions our life choices, and proves she's still every bit as outspoken as you'd expect. If you've ever watched Dance Moms, wondered what happened after the cameras stopped rolling, love hearing stories you won't get anywhere else, or just enjoy listening to two idiots get roasted by Abby Lee Miller, this episode is for you. Disclaimer: Due to an unexpected technical issue, the video portion of this episode ends about halfway through. The full episode audio is available and uninterrupted. SPONSORS: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter. FUM: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack.   SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com [team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com] Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

They did WHAT at Chick-Fil-A?!

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week starts with questionable sleep scores, Landon sleeping like a Victorian corpse, and a valet company that somehow managed to turn a routine parking job into a blown tire and a full-blown customer service nightmare. Naturally, this spirals into a rant about apartment parking, Tesla surveillance footage, and the growing suspicion that nobody in Nashville is actually in a hurry to do their job. From there, we debate whether social media creators are apparently no longer allowed to have problems, prepare for a road trip to Rock The Country, and once again confirm that Buc-ee's may be the closest thing the South has to a religious experience. We also get into hangover prevention, food apps that expose what's actually hiding in your groceries, and a list of behaviors that should probably get you investigated—including couples who sit on the same side of a restaurant booth and families who share a single Facebook account. Things take a turn when we dive into small-town life, landmark directions, Dollar Generals every fifteen minutes, and the never-ending debate over modern parenting versus the old-school method of being handed a hickory switch and told to go pick your punishment. Plus, we've got Bloodline Brain Check trivia, wedding budget debates, relationship advice for serial second-date avoiders, and one listener-submitted Chick-fil-A parking lot story that left us wondering whether they needed the police or a pastor. So grab a drink, check your sleep score, and join us for an episode that somehow manages to connect popped tires, Buc-ee's, gentle parenting, Abraham Lincoln, and public indecency in a Chick-fil-A parking lot. SPONSORS:  ZBiotics: Go to zbiotics.com/BANTER to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use BANTER at checkout.   Olive App: Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789 [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789] Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

Southern Baptist Potluck

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week somehow turns into a full discussion about raw Mexican restaurant chicken, the downfall of Pizza Hut, impossible gym membership cancellations, fake résumés, DoorDash drivers refusing to come upstairs, and why every small town only has pizza and Mexican food. We also debate croutons, church potlucks, Krispy Kreme runs in Pigeon Forge, bagel shops with questionable health scores, and the fact that some people absolutely should not be allowed to cheat in relationships. Of course, we also introduce the official Bloodline Banter hunger scale: Starving Marving, Starving Joanna, Starving Cletus, and the dangerously severe Starving Jebediah. Plus Bloodline Brain Check returns, Cousin Counsel goes completely off the rails, and we announce a very special upcoming guest: Abby Lee Miller. If you’ve ever gotten irrationally emotional over a Pizza Hut salad bar or threatened to pull over for a Hunts Brothers Pizza because you were Starving Jebediah… this episode is for you.   SPONSORS: Sunrise Flour Mill: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter.   SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com     SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)