114. Attachment Styles: How We Learn to Love and How We Can Change

114. Attachment Styles: How We Learn to Love and How We Can Change

“Can you blame your boyfriend’s mom for making your boyfriend a bad boyfriend?” This is the hypothetical question Marcus poses at the start of the episode. Fortunately, Esme is there to ask questions and figure out what Marcus is talking about.  It turns out that Marcus wants to discuss Attachment Theory, a psychological framework that explores how young children form emotional bonds with their caregivers and how these bonds influence their future relationships. Together, they discuss the kinds of formative experiences that create attachment types, and how those attachment types strongly influence how we approach our adult relationships. They also review recommendations for parents who want to form stronger and secure attachment bonds with their kids; and, reassure the audience that with enough hard work, we can learn how to form secure attachments as adults. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * Fraley, R. Chris. “A Brief Overview of Adult Attachment Theory and Research.” University of Illinois at Urbana‑Champaign, https://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm [https://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm].  * Huang, Stephanie. “Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships.” Simply Psychology, 20 Apr. 2026, https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment-styles.html [https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment-styles.html].  * Enns, Kimberly. “5 Ways to Form Stronger Attachment With Your Children.” Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute, 2026, https://ctrinstitute.com/blog/stronger-attachment-with-children [https://ctrinstitute.com/blog/stronger-attachment-with-children].  * “Attachment Theory.” EBSCO Research Starters: Psychology, EBSCO Information Services, 2023, https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/attachment-theory [https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/attachment-theory].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

113. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: City-wide betrayal and the revenge of Mary Bennet

HYPERBOLIC TITLE WARNING: This episode does not feature stories of ACTUAL betrayal or revenge. However, it does attempt to answer the following questions: Does a former college basketball star have an obligation to his alma mater to ensure his son does not play for that school's hated rival? (Spoiler alert: in this case, yes). Is a minor character from a classic Jane Austen novel deserving of her own story? (Spoiler alert: in this case, yes). Also, Marcus and Esme provide critical updates on open questions from previous installments of the Hyperfocus Bonus. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Belated acknowledgement of a brilliant video referenced in episode 112: * sagmoonmagic. “Hope this helps  #witch #witchtok #witchcraft #nature #earth.” TikTok, https://www.tiktok.com/@sagmoonmagic/video/7640568255018552589 [https://www.tiktok.com/@sagmoonmagic/video/7640568255018552589].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

112. Why is Whimsy Trending?

Internet and social media trends come and go, and many of them are pretty stupid. But could it be true that there is one current trend that might actually be somewhat beneficial for our mental health and well being? Join Marcus and Esme as they discuss whimsy, the rare social media trend that doesn’t seem to want to kill us. Marcus and Esme discuss why the trend has taken off, and whether or not there is any hard, scientific evidence to suggest that it might be a good thing (spoiler alert: believe it or not, there kinda’ is). They also share some of the whimsical interests and activities that bring a little fun to their lives, encourage straight guys to give whimsy a chance (it might actually encourage women to choose you and not the bear), and encourage listeners to not overthink whimsy, because then it won’t be whimsical anymore.  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * “Whimsy.” Cambridge Dictionary, Cambridge University Press & Assessment, 2026, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/whimsy [https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/whimsy]. * Caramela, Sammi. “The Surprisingly Powerful Benefits of Adding a Little Whimsy to Your Life, According to Science.” VICE, 30 May 2026, https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-surprisingly-powerful-benefits-of-adding-a-little-whimsy-to-your-life-according-to-science [https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-surprisingly-powerful-benefits-of-adding-a-little-whimsy-to-your-life-according-to-science].  * Gray, Peter. “The Value of Play I: The Definition of Play Gives Insights.” Psychology Today, 19 Nov. 2008, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200811/the-value-play-i-the-definition-play-gives-insights [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/200811/the-value-play-i-the-definition-play-gives-insights].  * Hart, Tori, and Robyn M. Holmes. “Exploring the Connection Between Adult Playfulness and Emotional Intelligence.” Journal of Play in Adulthood, vol. 4, no. 1, Aug. 2022, pp. 28–51. University of Huddersfield Press.  * Magnuson, Cale D., and Lynn A. Barnett. “The Playful Advantage: How Playfulness Enhances Coping with Stress.” Leisure Sciences, vol. 35, no. 2, 2013, pp. 129–144. Taylor & Francis Online, https://doi.org/10.1080/01490400.2013.761905 [https://doi.org/10.1080/01490400.2013.761905].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

111. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: Voices in our ears and directors in our neighborhood

Are the narrators of audiobooks the final authority on how to pronounce the names of people and places in sci-fi/fantasy novels? What is the likelihood a noteworthy director of independent cinema has moved to Marcus and Esme’s small town in southeastern Pennsylvania? And what does it mean if Marcus is hearing the voice of an entirely different director in his head when he goes grocery shopping?  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

110. The Cerebellum’s Surprising Role in Mental Health

Is it possible that the cerebellum plays a much larger role in our mental health than was previously known? And if so, what are the implications for the future of how mental health and neurodivergent conditions are diagnosed and treated going forward? Well, after an exhaustive review of recent breakthroughs in the field of neuroscience, Marcus and Esme are prepared to say, “Wow, those are some tough questions.” The truth of the matter is that the cerebellum has been the subject of a lot of fascinating research and discoveries in the past few years (it has long been dismissed as less important than the flashier, “thinky-thinky” parts of the brain). Scientists are only now beginning to grasp how intertwined this fist-sized portion of the human brain is with practically every aspect of neurological functioning and mental health.  What does it all mean? Well, that’s what Esme and Marcus attempt to figure out in this episode. While they acknowledge there are no definitive answers to these questions yet, they also think it’s a fascinating topic with a lot of potential implications for how mental health and neurodivergent conditions are diagnosed and treated going forward. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * Braga-Neto, Pedro, et al. “The Cerebellum and Psychiatric Disorders: Unraveling Its Role in Mental Health.” Arquivos de Neuro-Psiquiatria, vol. 83, no. 8, 31 Aug. 2025, pp. s00451810408. PubMed Central, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12399322/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12399322/].  * Mitoma, Hiroshi, et al. “Recent Advances in the Treatment of Cerebellar Disorders.” Brain Sciences, vol. 10, no. 1, 23 Dec. 2019, article 11. PubMed Central, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7017280 [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7017280].  * Radiolab. “Song of the Cerebellum.” Radiolab, 30 Jan. 2026, https://radiolab.org/podcast/song-of-the-cerebellum [https://radiolab.org/podcast/song-of-the-cerebellum].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]