$500 Bail for Attempted Murder: A Survivor's Fight for Justice

Success, Fear, and Letting Your Body Catch Up

Why do we still feel uneasy even after achieving the goals we once dreamed of? In this solo episode, host Natasha Jane Julian explores the complex relationship between success and fear. She challenges the common belief that reaching a milestone—whether launching a business, releasing an album, or starting a family—will automatically bring peace and eliminate anxiety. Drawing from her own experiences as an artist and entrepreneur, Natasha reveals how fear doesn't disappear; it simply "changes costumes" as we move from striving for success to trying to sustain it. Natasha dives deep into the physiological side of growth, explaining why our bodies often cling to familiar states of stress and survival even after our external reality has improved. She shares the specific healing modalities that have helped her rewire her nervous system, including meditation, breathwork, and Kundalini activation. This episode is a powerful reminder that healing is a process of awareness, and that courage isn't about being fearless—it's about moving forward while your body and mind learn to trust your new, safe reality. Key Takeaways * Success does not automatically cure fear; fear often just changes its focus as circumstances evolve. * Your internal reality may not match your external success because long-held beliefs take time to rewrite. * The body often feels most comfortable in familiar states, even if those states are stressful or uncomfortable. * Growth and healing require patience as the body’s nervous system catches up to the mind's new reality. * Meditation can provide the awareness needed to recognize fear without letting it "drive the car". * Healing modalities like breathwork can help release stored trauma and "energy" that the body keeps score of. * Slowing down is a powerful, underrated tool for precision and allowing the body to reflect. * Courage means moving forward even while the healing and growth process is still in progress. * You may already be living inside a dream you once asked for, but your nervous system is still waiting to catch up. * Growth is not necessarily about becoming someone else, but about feeling safe enough to be who you were meant to be. In This Episode * [00:00] Introduction: Fear changing costumes. * [00:52] The unease of getting what you want. * [02:04] Why success doesn't cure fear. * [03:05] Personal experience: Releasing an album and the feeling of "not enough". * [04:52] The body's request for safety during a healing journey. * [06:02] Why growth and healing take time for the body to catch up. * [07:50] Recent struggles with financial stress and old programming. * [08:56] Analogy: Stepping out of a dark room into the sunlight. * [09:32] How meditation brought awareness and stillness. * [10:37] Exploring breathwork and releasing what the body "keeps score" of. * [12:05] First Kundalini activation session and its aftershocks. * [13:19] Rewriting your story through journaling. * [14:15] The importance of slowing down and resting. * [16:34] Redefining courage as moving while healing. * [17:34] Recognizing that you might already be living your dream. Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

The Art of Getting Back Up: Phil Baker's Journey Through Life and Music

What happens when life knocks you down again and again, yet you keep finding a way to get back up? In this episode, host Natasha Jane Julian sits down with her longtime friend Phil Baker—musician, composer, performer, and now author of I'll Be 10 Minutes. Phil shares the remarkable stories behind his autobiography, recounting a life filled with heartbreak, dangerous jobs, failed relationships, unexpected adventures, and hard-earned resilience. From surviving toxic relationships and serious injuries to rebuilding his music career after nearly losing the use of his hands, Phil reveals how perseverance and a sense of humor carried him through life's toughest moments. He reflects on working in cement plants, performing six nights a week, sharing stages with legendary musicians, and the surprising twists that shaped his journey. At its heart, this conversation is about resilience, reinvention, and the power of never giving up. Phil's honesty, humor, and determination make this an inspiring listen for anyone navigating setbacks and wondering what's possible on the other side. Key Takeaways * Life rarely follows the path you originally plan, but every detour can teach valuable lessons * Creativity can provide stability and purpose during life's most difficult moments * Heartbreak and disappointment can become opportunities for growth and self-discovery * Hard work and difficult jobs often build resilience, character, and perspective * Listening is one of the most important skills in relationships and personal growth * Success isn't always about fame or money, it's about creating a meaningful life * Helping others without expecting anything in return can bring lasting fulfillment * Reinvention is possible at any stage of life * Music, creativity, and passion can remain lifelong sources of joy and purpose * Happiness often comes from appreciating where you are rather than chasing where you think you should be In This Episode * [00:00] Welcome to Dream Fuelerzz * [00:24] Introducing Phil Baker * [01:17] How Natasha and Phil met through music * [02:12] Producing Natasha's first recordings and creative collaboration * [03:49] Building a band and performing across Europe * [07:50] The unexpected twists life can take * [09:15] The story behind the title I'll Be 10 Minutes * [11:23] Phil's journey to becoming an author * [14:58] Relationships, heartbreak, and life lessons * [19:46] Discovering music and finding purpose * [22:42] Learning guitar in the dark and developing musicianship * [25:39] The many careers and jobs Phil held throughout his life * [26:17] The cement plant accident and surviving blood poisoning * [29:18] Why hard work builds resilience * [33:39] The relationship that ended with a bread knife attack * [37:13] Lessons learned from difficult relationships * [41:26] The accidental Batman stripper story * [44:28] Performing with tribute bands and music legends * [45:24] The realities of being a working musician * [52:34] Why music always remained part of his identity * [53:55] Creating new music and future projects * [55:41] What matters most in life now * [59:47] Defining peace and leaving a positive impact * [01:03:48] Where to find Phil's book and music Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Phil Baker * Website: https://www.philbaker.uk/ [https://www.philbaker.uk/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/phil-baker-25176885/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/phil-baker-25176885/] * Book: I'll Be 10 Minutes [https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Be-10-Minutes-Autobiography/dp/1787921107] * Music: Songs to the World" (remastered) [https://music.apple.com/us/album/songs-to-the-world-2025-remastered/1854159293] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/illbetenminutes/?hl=ar [https://www.instagram.com/illbetenminutes/?hl=ar] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

Why Your Childhood Trauma Lives in Your Energy Field with Dawn Hoang

In this episode of Dream Fuelerzz, Natasha Jane Julian sits down with Dawn Hoang—Kundalini activator, healer, and transformational teacher—to explore the power of Kundalini energy and personal healing. Dawn shares her journey from childhood trauma, self-worth struggles, and hidden wounds to a life-changing Kundalini awakening that transformed her sense of purpose. Together, they discuss healing, intuition, emotional release, creativity, and how reconnecting with our authentic selves can unlock profound transformation. This episode is for anyone who has felt stuck, carried unresolved trauma, questioned their purpose, or wondered whether true healing is possible. Key Takeaways * Kundalini energy exists within everyone and can help accelerate healing and transformation * Trauma can remain hidden in the body and subconscious for years before surfacing * Healing often begins when people feel safe enough to express emotions honestly * Childhood wounds can shape visibility fears, confidence issues, and self-worth struggles later in life * Kundalini activation can help release emotional, mental, physical, and energetic blockages * Purpose is multidimensional,  people are not limited to one calling in life * Meditation, surrender, and inner work can create ripple effects that positively impact relationships and family dynamics * Growth and awakening are ongoing processes rather than one-time spiritual events * Creativity and intuition expand when people reconnect with their authentic selves * The more connected people become to their life force energy, the more liberated and empowered they feel In This Episode * [02:27] Intro and guest welcome * [03:11] What Dawn does and life force energy * [05:16] Childhood, sensitivity and early spiritual curiosity * [07:09] Family, religion and strict upbringing * [10:06] Trauma, dyslexia and sense of worth * [12:30] College, burnout and first big spiritual class * [15:03] Kundalini awakening story (recording studio) * [19:47] Realizing the experience was a Kundalini awakening  * [22:05] Who Kundalini is for and “amplifier” concept * [26:17] Liberation and being seen * [28:30] What a session looks like (Zoom and in-person) * [31:27] Signs of Kundalini awakening * [34:56] Zoom vs in-person power * [37:27] Relationships, safety and inner grounding * [39:47] Purpose as multidimensional * [43:11] Where to find Dawn and call to action * [44:24] Post-recording reflections and extra point * [47:23] Natasha’s story: safety and male energy * [51:12] Voice, creativity, and letting go * [55:32] Final reflections and closing thoughts Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Dawn Hoang * Website: https://www.dawnhoang.com/ [https://www.dawnhoang.com/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/https://www.instagram.com/thenewdawn/ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewdawn/] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian] Disclaimer This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and healing. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you love is struggling with past abuse or trauma, please reach out to a mental health professional or support organization in your area. You are not alone, and healing is possible.

$500 Bail for Attempted Murder: A Survivor's Fight for Justice

What do you do when the system that's supposed to protect you fails you completely? What do you do when you survive something unsurvivable, only to watch your abuser walk free? In this powerful episode of Dream Fuelerzz, host Natasha Jane Julian sits down with Cait Alexander: actor, model, singer, composer, and now activist and founder of End Violence Everywhere (EVE). Cait shares her harrowing story of a relationship that began idyllically and quickly spiraled into alcohol abuse, coercive control, and eventually a brutal beating that nearly took her life. She also exposes the shocking legal loophole that allowed her abuser to go free despite overwhelming evidence, and reveals why she is now suing the Canadian government to change the law for good. But this episode is not just about what happened to Cait. It is about what she did next. Fueled by rage, grief, and an unshakable sense of justice, Cait founded EVE, a registered charity operating in both Canada and the United States, to support survivors of intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking, and to fight the systemic failures that let abusers go free. This episode is a must‑listen for anyone who has ever felt trapped in a toxic relationship, wondered why survivors don't "just leave," or wanted to understand how broken systems fail victims. Cait's courage and her mission to turn pain into purpose will leave you equal parts heartbroken and inspired. This is a story of survival. This is a story of power reclaimed. Key Takeaways * The cycle of abuse can begin beautifully – Abusers often present as perfect partners * Psychological abuse changes the brain long before physical violence appears * Victims do not “just stay”; coercive control and trauma make leaving incredibly difficult * Abuse thrives in isolation, secrecy, shame, and emotional dependency * The legal and medical systems frequently fail survivors even when evidence is overwhelming * Trauma impacts every part of a person’s ability to function, trust, and feel safe * Healing begins when survivors stop blaming themselves and start reaching out for support * Real change requires cultural shifts, better systems, and teaching young boys healthier ways to process emotions and power In This Episode * [00:02] Welcome to Dream Fuelerzz * [00:24] Introducing Cait Alexander * [01:26] Cait's background and career * [02:26] Childhood and early life * [05:31] How the relationship began * [08:31] When everything changed: the first incident * [12:28] The cycle of apology and escalation * [17:53] Coercive control and psychological abuse * [19:07] How the brain changes under abuse * [22:25] The night of the near-fatal attack * [25:45] Reaching out for help and the police response * [32:52] How the justice system failed Cait * [33:56] The Supreme Court ruling that lets abusers walk free * [37:37] Founding End Violence Everywhere (EVE) * [40:29] Why ending violence is everyone's issue * [43:35] Cait's production company and survivor storytelling * [44:37] A surreal update: her abuser has died * [47:24] Cait's message to survivors * [48:02] Where to find Cait and EVE  Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Cait Alexander * Website: https://www.caitalexander.com/ [https://www.caitalexander.com/] * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944 [http://linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/ [https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/] * End Violence Everywhere (EVE): https://www.endviolenceeverywhere.org/ [https://www.endviolenceeverywhere.org/] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

Why You Don't Feel Safe in Your Own Body (And What to Do About It)

What if the thing holding you back from fully showing up in your life isn't fear, self-doubt, or lack of confidence but something even deeper? What if you've been living in a body that doesn't feel safe, and you didn't even know it? In this solo episode of Dream Fuelerzz, host Natasha Jane Julian gets deeply personal about one of the most profound themes in her healing journey: safety. Not physical safety but the kind that lives quietly in your mind, your body, your voice, and the way you move through the world. The kind that, when it's missing, keeps you tiptoeing, shrinking, people pleasing, and abandoning yourself without even realizing it. Natasha shares openly that she is right in the middle of this healing journey herself, which makes this episode deeply relatable. She unpacks how safety begins in childhood, how a highly reactive environment can teach a child that speaking up isn't safe, and how that lesson bleeds into every corner of adult life. She also walks through the healing modalities she has explored, from talk therapy to somatic therapy to her first life-changing breathwork session, and why getting the trauma out of the body, not just the mind, is where the real transformation begins. This is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt like they had to hide, shrink, or silence themselves to keep the peace. Let’s dive in! Key Takeaways * Safety isn't just physical; it lives in your thoughts, your voice, your movements, and your relationships * You can be living without safety and not even know it; it hides in people pleasing, self-silencing, and self-abandonment * A highly reactive home environment teaches children that speaking up and being themselves carries consequences * Somatic therapy and breathwork go beyond talk; they release trauma stored in the body * Safety is not something you chase; it is something you build from within * When you feel safe, you stop shrinking and start expanding, creating, and becoming * Safety is the root of everything: confidence, trust, self-worth, and your ability to live authentically In This Episode * [00:00] Welcome to Dream Fuelerzz * [00:24] What safety really means * [02:22] Signs you don’t feel safe * [03:27] Teaching kids emotional safety * [05:55] Freedom to be yourself * [08:41] Natasha’s safety awakening * [09:49] Childhood roots and people pleasing * [11:31] Healing tools that help * [13:58] Building safety within * [14:59] Safety leads to trust * [16:23] Closing and next steps Notable Quotes * [01:20] "You could be living right now without feeling safe and not even know it, because it lives quietly in your mind and your body and your thoughts and the way you move throughout the world." — Natasha Jane Julian * [08:01] "Safety is the ability to do it wrong, to fail. Because if you don't have that net, you will never be able to experiment." — Natasha Jane Julian * [09:01] "Once I discovered that the reason why these things were happening to me is because deep down there was a core issue of not feeling safe — that was the moment I was able to grab it and start working on this." — Natasha Jane Julian * [14:43] "When you feel safe, you don't shrink. You don't silence yourself, and you don't abandon who you are. Instead, you expand. You create. You become." — Natasha Jane Julian * [15:45] "After safety comes trust. After trust comes confidence. After confidence comes self-worth. And where does it all stem from? Safety." — Natasha Jane Julian Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]