Ep. 263: My Gay Journey: From JCPenney Catalogs to Coming Out at Work | This Is Everything

Ep. 263: My Gay Journey: From JCPenney Catalogs to Coming Out at Work | This Is Everything

Every gay man has a journey. In this deeply personal episode of This Is Everything, Zach gets real — maybe more real than ever — about the phases of his own gay life, from confused seventh-grader sneaking looks at the JCPenney catalog to fully out, proudly gay podcaster in his 50s. Zach walks through the stages so many LGBTQ+ people will recognize: the denial phase, the "maybe I'm bi" phase, the club kid reinvention, the slow process of finding yourself, and finally — the unapologetically out phase. Along the way, he shares stories about his first time at a drag show (before RuPaul's Drag Race existed), his first gay bar in South Miami, his crew of friends who helped shape who he became, and what it finally felt like to stop hiding at work. He also reflects on how different the journey can be — from friends who knew they were gay as kids, to those who've gone back into the closet, to the uniquely profound journey transgender people navigate on an entirely different level. This one is honest, funny, messy, and deeply human. IN THIS EPISODE: * Growing up with no internet — and a JCPenney catalog as your only "resource" * Going to your first gay bar alone, and why that takes real courage * The "bisexual" phase almost every gay guy goes through * Life as a club kid in 1990s South Beach * Moving through cities — Miami, New York, Atlanta, Switzerland — and how each one shaped Zach's identity * Why the most homophobic people are often hiding something * Coming out at work: what finally made Zach stop caring what people thought * A former best friend who chose the closet over the friendship 🎙️ This Is Everything is the solo monologue segment of Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay, where host Zach Randles gets personal and goes deep on the things that actually matter. 📲 Follow Zach on Instagram: @TheRealZachRE 🌐 everythingandanythingpodcast.com If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it — and leave a review. It helps more people find the show. 🏳️‍🌈 Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep.262: Clayborne Elder on Gilded Age, Little Shop of Horrors & His New Album

Actor, Broadway star, and cabaret performer Clayborne Elder sits down with Zach for one of the most anticipated interviews in Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay history — and yes, Clay was literally on Zach's top five wish list. Clay opens up about playing John Adams on HBO's The Gilded Age, what it felt like when his character was written off the show, and the bittersweet experience of saying goodbye to a cast he describes as feeling like a theater family. He talks about the deliberate choice to cast theater people for the series and why that made all the difference on set — including staying close with co-stars like Cynthia Nixon long after filming wrapped. Growing up the eighth of eight children in a conservative Mormon family in Utah, Clay shares his journey of coming out — and the bond it deepened with his brother Billy, who also happens to be gay. Both were asked to leave BYU for being gay, and Clay reflects on what it means to have had family support in a story that doesn't always end that way for LGBTQ+ people from religious backgrounds. The conversation shifts to Clay's current Broadway run as the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, his philosophy on keeping live performance fresh every night, and why he actually prefers the stage lights bright enough that he can't see the audience. He talks about what it means to share that experience with his son — who doesn't particularly care that his dad is famous, except when his best friend (who has seen Little Shop five times) nearly lost his mind knowing Clay was playing the dentist. Clay also dives deep into If the Stars Were Mine, his new album rooted in a cabaret show he's been performing for years. He explains the emotional weight behind his version of "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" — a song that as a young gay kid felt like a longing he wasn't sure would ever come true. He and his husband met working in theater 17 years ago, and that context makes the song land differently. The album is available now on streaming platforms and on vinyl (personalized and signed) at clayborneelder.com. Clay also reveals his dream collaborators — Catherine O'Hara and Daniel Levy on the acting side, and Sara Bareilles for a vocal duet — his experience as the bartender on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, his wild DM stories (yes, people want to buy his socks), and a standing campaign Zach is officially launching to get Clay and Daniel Levy on a project together. This one's a full-circle moment — Zach interviewed Clay's brother Billy on this very show two and a half years ago, and now the wish has finally come true. Links mentioned in this episode: * 🎵 If the Stars Were Mine — available on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/album/7AHvBgWQFDg1AcoFrZBje8], Apple Music [https://music.apple.com/us/album/if-the-stars-were-mine/1874091785]& https://www.claybourneelder.com/ [https://www.claybourneelder.com/] * 🎭 Little Shop of Horrors — check listings for current run: https://littleshopnyc.com/ [https://littleshopnyc.com/] * 📸 Follow Clay on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/claybourneelder [https://www.instagram.com/claybourneelder] Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 262: What Happens After You Die? 23 Years of Research on NDEs, Reincarnation & Consciousness

What actually happens when we die — and is there real evidence for it? Researcher and author Brendan Murphy has spent 23 years studying near-death experiences, reincarnation, consciousness, and the nature of reality. In this conversation, we go deep — from NDE case studies that defy every materialist explanation, to how reincarnation actually works across different layers of consciousness, to what simulation theory gets right (and wrong), to why who you are psychologically may determine everything about where you go after death. This one genuinely shifted something for me. I think it'll do the same for you. In this episode: * The book that started it all: The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot * What NDEs actually reveal — and why the "dying brain" explanation completely falls apart * The stunning parallel between a 2008 NDE and a Rudolf Steiner lecture from 1904 * Peak in Darien cases: encountering people in an NDE you didn't know had died * How reincarnation works across different planes of consciousness — and why some souls come back immediately while others go deeper * Why kids who remember past lives often died violently in their previous one * The "oversoul" — a collective identity made up of thousands of lifetimes * What simulation theory gets right, and where it goes off the rails * What happens to someone like Hitler after death (no imposed punishment — but it's not pretty) * Whether knowing all of this actually helps with grief * Are we living in the hardest reality available — and can we incarnate on other planets? * Why Brendan says everything he does is preparation for his own death Connect with Brendan Murphy: Reverse Engineering the Afterlife — Pre-order: https://brendandmurphy.com/pre-order/reverse-engineering-the-afterlife [https://brendandmurphy.com/pre-order/reverse-engineering-the-afterlife] The Grand Illusion: A Synthesis of Science and Spirituality — Book 1: https://brendandmurphy.com/books/the-grand-illusion [https://brendandmurphy.com/books/the-grand-illusion] Regenetics Method facilitation with Brendan: https://www.evolveyourself.live [https://www.evolveyourself.live/] Subscribe, rate, and review — it genuinely helps more people find the show. And if this episode hit differently, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 🎙️ Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon Music, and iHeartRadio. 🌐 everythingandanythingpodcast.com 📸 Instagram: @TheRealZachRE Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 261: The Gay Bit: Tank Tops, Drag Race & Things This Gay Man Does NOT Like

It's Friday, which means it's time for The Gay Bit — and this week, Zach is doing a full-on opinion dump on the things he absolutely cannot stand. If your podcast week wasn't gay enough, buckle up. Zach kicks things off with his deeply held conviction that tank tops are the enemy of civilization. Sweaty underarms, deodorant balls, and terrible fit — he's making the case that the world would be a better place without them. (Yes, even on hot guys at the gym.) From there, he shares the surprisingly wholesome origin story of how a TSA confiscation at the airport turned him into a lifelong Secret deodorant convert — and he has zero regrets. Then it's on to the cultural hot takes: Zach confesses he has never been able to get through more than an episode or two of RuPaul's Drag Race, despite genuinely loving drag queens. (The corny judge commentary is just not it.) Meanwhile, Andrew is out here sending him cat videos and Family Guy clips on a daily basis, and Zach is barely surviving. Circuit parties get their moment in the crosshairs, too — Zach traces his history with White Party and Winter Party in Miami and arrives at the same conclusion he always has: not for him, and he's not sure anyone under 40 is rushing to disagree. The episode takes a wonderfully chaotic detour through Provincetown — the full P-Town gay vacation routine from Joe's Coffee to Tea Dance to Spiritus Pizza — and Zach's honest assessment of what it means if you still can't meet someone after working through literally every opportunity the town has to offer. Then there's the beach, Speedos, and the nude beach. Zach traces his childhood Speedo trauma (courtesy of his mom, who put him and his brother in them at Larry & Penny Thompson Park in sixth grade — and yes, someone he later became friends with saw it), explains why he hasn't gone in the ocean since learning about barracudas and gold jewelry, and lovingly describes the very different beach philosophies of his mom (shells and peace), his husband Andrew (nude and free), and himself (pool, frozen margarita, SPF, umbrella, goodbye). The whole episode wraps with a story about a guy at a Dallas bar with a very specific kink involving underarms and pubic hair — and Zach's completely understandable reaction to the whole thing. It's unfiltered, it's funny, and it's exactly what The Gay Bit is for. Episode Notes: * Tank tops: a wrongful cultural institution * How a TSA confiscation made Zach a Secret deodorant convert for life * RuPaul's Drag Race — great queens, could do without everything else * Andrew's algorithm is 90% cats and 10% Family Guy clips * Circuit parties: are they still a thing, and does Gen Z care? * The full Provincetown gay vacation itinerary, including Spiritus Pizza as a last resort * Speedo trauma courtesy of Zach's mom, sixth grade, and a water park in Miami * Why Zach won't go in the ocean (barracudas + gold necklace = no) * The pool vs. the beach vs. the nude beach: three very different people in Zach's life * That guy at the Dallas bar and his very unusual interests * Canyon Ranch dreams vs. $21,000 reality checks 🎙️ Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay drops new episodes throughout the week, with The Gay Bit every Friday — a little more unfiltered, a little more chaotic, and exactly as gay as advertised. 👉 Subscribe, leave a rating and review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear Zach's definitive take on tank tops. 📲 Follow Zach on Instagram: @TheRealZachRE Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ep. 260: Gay Loneliness Is Real — And Nobody's Talking About It | This Is Everything

Are gay men lonelier than ever — and why won't anyone admit it? In this week's This Is Everything, Zach gets brutally honest about the loneliness epidemic hitting the LGBTQ+ community, the apps that promise connection and deliver bots, the "shit friends" we finally stop tolerating after 50, and why cutting toxic people out of your life might be making you lonelier even when it's the right call. From a $500 phone bill in a fourth-floor walkup in New York City in 1998 to becoming the self-proclaimed Mayor of Gay NYC by starting a meetup group that blew up — Zach traces his own relationship with loneliness and shares what he thinks gay men (and everyone else) actually need right now. In this episode: * The gay loneliness epidemic nobody wants to talk about * Why the dating apps are broken — bots, fakes, and the Grindr scam rabbit hole * Standards, self-awareness, and why some guys keep going after people out of their league * Social media making everyone feel like their Tuesday night is a failure * The slow death of friendships — no dramatic breakup, just stopped texting * Cutting out toxic friends and the loneliness that follows * Kevin and Greg: a love story and a shoutout * From South Beach to New York to Boston — how your friend circle shrinks as you age * The Newcomers Club idea that could save gay Boston * Why Zach thinks a gay meetup group might be the answer — and why he's seriously considering starting one Connect with Zach: 🌐 everythingandanythingpodcast.com 📸 Instagram: @TheRealZachRE Everything & Anything…and a Bit Gay — new episodes drop weekly. Subscribe and never miss a This Is Everything episode. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com [https://www.sixfoot5prod.com]  Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977  [https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 ] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.