Vic’s Story: Identity, Transition & Finding Community | Episode 525

Vic’s Story: Identity, Transition & Finding Community | Episode 525

In Episode 525 of Fishing Without Bait, Jim Ellermeyer welcomes Vic Costik for Part 1 of a conversation about community, authenticity, connection, and finding the courage to become more fully yourself. Vic is a designer, community advocate, and the creator of New Rust, a podcast exploring Pittsburgh’s transformation through the individual stories of people doing interesting things throughout the city. Growing up surrounded by the enormous crowds of New York City, Vic expected proximity to people to create connection. Instead, it was moving to Pittsburgh that showed him what community could truly feel like. Vic talks with Jim about discovering Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community, building a found family, participating in the city’s creative and wonderfully unusual spaces, and realizing how helping others can create a support network in return. From jam nights and local zines to simply meeting people doing something they care about, Vic explains why Pittsburgh’s smaller communities became so important to him. The conversation also explores judgment, curiosity, and what can happen when we approach unfamiliar experiences with a willingness to listen instead of immediately forming conclusions. Vic shares stories of talking with coworkers who had little or no previous experience with transgender people and choosing conversation as an opportunity to create understanding. Vic also reflects candidly on his own journey toward authenticity. He discusses growing up without the language to understand what he was experiencing, repressing parts of himself, getting married to his high school sweetheart, and eventually recognizing that the life he was living did not feel like his own. As Vic puts it, transitioning allowed him to “meet myself for the 1st time.” What followed was more than a change in identity. Vic discovered a version of himself who loves being around people, participating in his community, sharing ideas, and embracing the wonderfully weird interests that make each person unique. This is Part 1 of our conversation with Vic Costik. The conversation continues in the next episode of Fishing Without Bait. Learn more about Vic’s New Rust podcast at NewRustPodcast.com. CONTINUE YOUR FISHING WITHOUT BAIT JOURNEY Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode. Support the show on Patreon and receive ad-free episodes: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait [https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait] Pick up “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”: https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4 [https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4]

Political Differences Without Losing Each Other | Episode 524

Fishing Without Bait 524 presents the third and final part of Jim Ellermeyer’s conversation with Missy Sorg about political differences, social-media behavior and the possibility of maintaining meaningful relationships with people who do not share our beliefs. Rather than trying to win a debate, Jim and Missy examine what happens when people listen to respond instead of listening to learn. They discuss the echo chambers created by social media, the pressure to react immediately and the assumptions people make based on political labels. Jim introduces the space between stimulus and response as the place where choice and freedom can be found. Missy speaks candidly about her experiences working with Republican candidates and organizations. She explains why she does not automatically block every hostile commenter, how she decides when a response crosses the line and what can happen when community members answer an argument with research and supporting information. She also shares a personal story about telling a longtime Democratic friend that she was a Republican. Although he was initially shocked, the two eventually talked openly about their differences. He did not change his political position, but he was able to tell her, “I still don't agree with it, but I don't hate you.” Their friendship survived because they chose curiosity and conversation over assumptions. The discussion also looks at the effect constant screen use can have on attention, emotional health and sleep. Missy describes replacing nighttime doomscrolling with physical books and noticing improvements in her sleep and overall outlook. Jim and Missy encourage listeners to become more intentional about how social media is used instead of allowing it to become a form of constant maintenance. This episode is not about convincing everyone to agree. It is an invitation to pause, ask questions, listen actively and remember that a political designation does not represent the entirety of another human being. Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your preferred podcast player so you never miss an episode. Support the program and receive ad-free episodes through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait [https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait] Continue the mindfulness journey with “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”: https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4 [https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4]

Beyond the Party Line | Episode 523

In Episode 523 of Fishing Without Bait, we continue our conversation with Missy Sorg in Part 2 of a thoughtful and challenging discussion about politics, responsibility, family support, and respectful disagreement. Missy and Jim Ellermeyer begin by examining the complicated realities surrounding abortion and the question of what happens after a child is born. Their conversation moves beyond political slogans to consider infertility, adoption, foster care, support systems, special-needs care, financial responsibility, and the difficult decisions families may face. Missy shares personal experiences that have shaped her perspective, including going through infertility treatments and seeing family members navigate teenage pregnancy and lifelong care needs. The discussion asks whether society is doing enough to educate young people about consequences, critical thinking, emotional decision-making, and personal responsibility. The conversation then expands into voter education and representative government. Drawing from her work as a Republican committee woman and her experiences at polling locations, Missy discusses the importance of understanding what elected offices actually control rather than voting entirely through party labels or a single issue. Jim and Missy also consider how political representatives can become disconnected from their constituents, how social media encourages echo chambers, and why people often listen only long enough to prepare their response. Despite the disagreements and difficult subjects, the episode returns to a simple principle: people should be treated with courtesy and respect. Meaningful progress begins when we stop reducing one another to political labels and begin listening to learn. This is Part 2 of our conversation with Missy Sorg. The discussion continues in the next episode. Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait through your favorite podcast player so you do not miss the continuation. Support the podcast and receive ad-free episodes through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait [https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait] Pick up Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book: https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4 [https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4] Do a kindness for yourself. Do a kindness for another. Forgive yourself and forgive another.

Respect Across Political Lines | Episode 522

In Fishing Without Bait 522, Jim Ellermeyer begins a new conversation with Missy Sorg about one of the most difficult challenges many people face today: how to stay connected when political differences feel personal, painful, and divisive. Missy shares why she wanted to return to the show and talk openly about strained friendships, lost connections, and the fear of being reduced to a political label. Jim and Missy explore the idea that even when people disagree, there may still be a shared “ice cream” — a common point of connection that allows a real conversation to begin. This Part 1 episode moves through themes of political polarization, patriotism, social media, assumptions, “contempt prior to investigation,” and the need to focus less on identifying problems and more on finding solutions. Missy also opens up about women’s health, fertility treatments, abortion, birth control, and the way women’s bodies are often discussed or legislated without enough listening or understanding. Rather than a shouting match, this is a conversation about conversation itself: how to disagree without dehumanizing, how to listen without surrendering your values, and how to look for the person behind the label. Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player. Support the show and receive ad-free episodes on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait [https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait]. You can also pick up our book, “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book,” at https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4 [https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4]

Fighting Ideas, Not People with Eamon and Merlin | Episode 521

In Fishing Without Bait 521, we conclude our four-part conversation with returning guests Eamon and Merlin, hosts of A Gay and His Enby. This final part brings the discussion into questions of faith, culture, identity, queer history, personal freedom, and the importance of community. Jim, Eamon, and Merlin talk about the many ways people interpret the divine, how history and education shape understanding, and why queer and trans people have always been part of humanity. The conversation also turns toward Pittsburgh, where Eamon and Merlin reflect on how their lives, relationship, podcast, and voices have grown over the past several years. They share what it means to find community, create space for others, speak with empathy, and stay curious about the lives and experiences of people around us. For anyone struggling with fear, uncertainty, identity, or belonging, this episode offers a compassionate reminder: you do not have to figure it all out today. There will be people who accept you exactly as you are, and life can be lived one day at a time. Listen to Eamon and Merlin’s podcast A Gay and His Enby: https://agayandhisenby.fireside.fm/ [https://agayandhisenby.fireside.fm/] Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player. Support us on Patreon for ad-free episodes: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait [https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait] Pick up our book, “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”: https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4 [https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4]