How To Get Better at Foreplay

How To Get Better at Foreplay

Foreplay. Everyone's heard of it. Not everyone's doing it right. In this episode, Jay-Jay and Mel break down what foreplay actually is (spoiler: not just a quick neck kiss and a rub before getting to the main event), why rushing it is one of the biggest bedroom mistakes people make, and how slowing down can completely change your sex life. We also get into the surprisingly non-sexual stuff that counts as foreplay, plus: why your body literally needs time to prepare for penetration (there's a physiological process called tenting and it will change how you think about this forever), the art of attunement, why the quickie you think was spontaneous... wasn't, and how to talk to a partner who treats foreplay like they're late for a flight. In this episode: * Why foreplay starts way before the bedroom * The psychological side of arousal, and why safety matters more than technique * What is tenting and why your body needs it * Attunement: the real skill underneath all the moves * How to talk to a partner who skips straight to the jackhammer * Sexting as foreplay (Mel is a big fan) * The Pleasure Practice: penetration off the table, entirely How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz [http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/] & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com [https://hthspodcast.substack.com/] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast] FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast [https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast] YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast] EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com [howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex [https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex] How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz [https://www.podlab.co.nz/] HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

How To Spice It Up In Long-Term Relationships

Ever caught yourself calling your partner "babe" right before asking them to take the bins out, and that was basically the most romantic thing that happened all week? Yeah. This one's for you. This week JJ and Mel are talking about how to bring the spice back into long-term relationships, and no, it doesn't start with a sex swing. They unpack why couples slip into "flatmate energy," the sneaky way resentment kills desire faster than tiredness ever could, and why foreplay actually starts at 11am, not 11pm. Mel breaks down brakes vs accelerators, spontaneous vs responsive desire, and why being too comfortable with your partner might be the actual problem. Plus: the spousal arousal radio story, a boat-bed confession gone wrong, and the case for bringing back a little "puppy energy" when your partner walks in the door. If you and your partner have started to feel more like co-managers of a household than lovers, this episode is your sign to do something about it (and it's way less effort than you think). How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz [http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/] & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com [https://hthspodcast.substack.com/] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast] FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast [https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast] YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast] EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com [howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex [https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex] How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz [https://www.podlab.co.nz/] HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life

Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex & relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake. Mel shares the research on the most common fantasies (group sex, power play, and being completely ravished all made the list), and we talk through how to find the feeling behind a fantasy so you're not stuck trying to recreate an exact scene from a book. Also in this episode: Jay-Jay's worst date story ever, the golden showers chat nobody asked for, why pegging makes so many people squirm and shouldn't, and a Pleasure Practice that's basically just permission to daydream a bit more. Topics: sexual fantasies, fantasy communication, kinks and power play, BDSM basics, intimacy and desire, couples communication, sex education, relationship advice How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz [http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz] & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com [https://hthspodcast.substack.com] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast] FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast [https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast] YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast] EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com [howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex [https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex] How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz [https://www.podlab.co.nz] HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney [https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney] Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com [http://www.melissavranjes.com] Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school [https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

How To Initiate Sex

Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze? Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is. This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships. Inside this episode: * Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier) * The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracks * Mismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language? * Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everything * Emily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosity * Real, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massage * Plus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twist * Whether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz [http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/] & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com [https://hthspodcast.substack.com/] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast] FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast [https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast] YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast] EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com [howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex [https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex] How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz [https://www.podlab.co.nz/] HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

How to Explore Beginner-Friendly BDSM

BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.) This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think. We cover: * What BDSM really means (and what it definitely doesn't have to mean) * Why so many people are secretly curious about power play, restraint, and dominance, and feel weirdly ashamed about it * The psychology behind dominant people wanting to submit, and vice versa * How to go from "we've vaguely thought about this" to actually trying it, without a cringe disaster * The beginner's menu: easy, low-stakes things to explore first * Consent conversations that don't feel like a workplace health and safety briefing * Safewords, aftercare, and the mistakes people make, copying what they've seen online * And this week's Pleasure Practice to try at home Whether you're deeply curious, mildly intrigued, or just here to find out what all the fuss is about, this one's for you. Don't start with a whip and a prayer. Start here. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz [http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/] & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com [https://hthspodcast.substack.com/] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast] FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast [https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast] YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast] EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com [howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com] Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex [https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex] How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz [https://www.podlab.co.nz/] HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.