Brok: The Danish art of petty complaints

Brok: The Danish art of petty complaints

Brok rhymes with clock, and it is a Danish word that describes the petty complaints that are common in one of the happiest countries in the world, and one of the richest. It's complaining as a social activity, usually about things that are more irritating than dangerous. I feel there's more Danish brok in the summer because people come into contact with each other, the joy of spring is gone, and the bugs are coming out, and it can be so hot. But really brok can be a year-round occupation. It's particularly common in the coffee room or lunchroom on job sites, where Danes complain about their working conditions, the Danish government, the Danish public health system, Danish public transport, in particular the national train service DSB or, the all-time favorite, the exasperating Danish weather. Brok is a way of bonding – aren't we all irritated by the same thing? And a way of blowing off steam without ever confronting anyone directly, which is always a bit dangerous in Denmark, because the country is so small and you will run into the same people again and again.

Authenticity and the Danish Summer Light

These are the light times in Denmark. In May and June, it's light until 10 or 11 in the evening, and then the sun is back around 4am. It's a nice contrast to the dark times in winter, although all that light can make you feel a bit jittery and overstimulated. It's also one of the few times a year that the Danes close their curtains. They do that so the first rays of sunshine won't wake them up at a painfully early hour. At other times of the year, the curtains to homes and apartments are often wide open, and visitors to Denmark are sometimes surprised that they can see right into people's homes as they eat dinner or watch TV. Keeping curtains open makes sense for the darker times of the Danish year when you're desperate for as much sunlight as possible. But it's also a sign of confidence in who you are and what you are presenting to the world, that you have nothing to hide. This is me. This is who I am. Authenticity is a basic Danish value, just like trust and transparency and having a sense of humor about yourself. Denmark is not a status culture, it's not a place where you fake it until you make it. It's a place where you're expected to present yourself warts and all.

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location. Like eating alone in a restaurant. Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture. My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant. Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order. ------- This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle.

The Scheduled Dane: Why Friendship Needs a Calendar

Danes usually don't do spontaneous. They do calendars. This episode looks at why a country that can count 8,000 ballots in three hours still needs two weeks' notice for almost everything else. From perfectly timed buses to highly efficient elections, Denmark's culture of planning keeps society running smoothly. But it can also make it hard for newcomers to connect, whether on a playground, a boat trip, or even just striking up a casual conversation. Except, uniquely, in spring, when the rules loosen, plans get dropped, and Danes embrace the simple joy of a beer by the water. And there is almost always somewhere to have a beer by the water, wherever you are in Denmark. If you're moving to Denmark or trying to build a life or career in Denmark, understanding this balance between structure and spontaneity is key. After all, in Denmark, time is the most valuable currency. It's also the only thing that can't be taxed.

Danish dinner party customs & why it's OK to break your Royal Copenhagen cup

Some might say that the most Danish piece of furniture is the chair. The Swan Chair, the Egg Chair, the Wishbone chair. They're all international design classics. You can buy a poster with 100 of the top Danish chairs, and if you go to Designmuseum Danmark there is a hall of chairs you can walk through, the display cases stacked three high. Chairs, chairs, everywhere. But I think the most Danish piece of furniture is the table. It is where traditional Danish cuisine is enjoyed, and sitting around the table, and sitting and sitting and sitting there for hours after a long meal, is where hygge reigns and people are included – or excluded, as the case may be. A dinner invitation in Denmark A dinner invitation to someone's home is an honor in Denmark, and people often dress better for it than they might dress for work. Ladies put on a pretty ruffled blouse, men might wear a suit jacket or at least a shirt with buttons. And everyone arrives precisely on time. There's no such thing as fashionably late in Denmark; that's not the Danish dinner party customs. For a dinner party like this, the host or hostess will set an elaborate table. There will be cloth napkins in napkin rings, probably some candles, maybe a few carefully chosen flowers as a centerpiece, not so many that you can't see the person on the other side of the table. And there will be different glasses for different drinks. Water glasses, wine glasses, and often tiny little glasses for toasting with aquavit. Setting a beautiful table is a Danish art form. Bring out the Royal Copenhagen dishes Dinner parties are usually a very good time to bring out the Royal Copenhagen dishes. You can't talk about Danish tables without talking about Royal Copenhagen, that blue and white porcelain first produced in 1775. At the time, porcelain was a real marvel. It's hard to believe now, we're all so used to looking at antique shops full of unwanted dishes and kitchy porcelain figurines, but at the time, porcelain was the stuff of kings. If you think Royal Copenhagen porcelain is just for tourists and ladies of a certain age, think again. It is hugely popular among young people. I work part time in a shop and I sell a lot of Royal Copenhagen porcelain to women in their 20s. Two great business decisions from Royal Copenhagen That's because of two great business decisions. First of all, Royal Copenhagen, which is now owned by a Finnish company, keeps updating its patterns. The hand-painted dishes you buy now are not the hand-painted dishes grandma used to have with their little bitty lacy patterns, although you can still buy those if you want them. But the most popular patterns now are bigger and bolder, still in the same cobalt blue. And you can put them in the dishwasher. Breakage guarantee means you actually use your dishes Secondly, in a strategy that should be studied by marketing students, they have a breakage guarantee. If a piece of your fancy porcelain breaks within two years of purchase, you get a new one for free. This is to encourage people to actually eat off their plates, and use their coffee cups for coffee, instead of stashing them in a glass cupboard where people will look at them and dust them but never use them. If you're Danish and are welcoming a new colleague to the country, or maybe the international spouse of a Danish friend, a piece of Royal Copenhagen to start their collection is a nice gift. A team of co-workers did this for my housewarming when I first got here. I still have it.