How's Your Ma: Episode 2

Beschreibung

This week, Leanne and Orla share a raw and deeply moving story sent in by a listener — a woman who grew up in a home shaped by infidelity, neglect, and addiction, who became the caretaker of her younger siblings from childhood, and who is now, as an adult, looking after the very mother who failed her. The girls talk about what it means to carry that kind of weight, the guilt and shame that comes with complex feelings toward a parent, and whether it's ever okay to say no. They introduce the concept of "lighthouses" — those rock-steady people in our lives who see us for who we truly are — and reflect on what it means to survive, to grow, and to finally be heard. Orla also opens up about her own experience growing up as a mixed-race woman in Ireland in the 80s, facing racism and poverty, and the lighthouses who helped shape her into who she is today. An honest, emotional, and ultimately empowering conversation. You are not alone. Timecodes: 00:00 — Welcome & introducing this week's listener story 00:32 — The listener's story is read out — infidelity, neglect, and a childhood lost to responsibility 02:55 — "My ma is currently dying of cancer and I despise having to look after her" 03:27 — Orla & Leanne react — championing her strength and asking: is it okay to say no? 06:22 — Introducing the lighthouse concept — the people who are rock steady in our lives 07:28 — What it meant for her to finally get this off her chest 08:12 — Being the eldest daughter and the weight of responsibility 09:48 — Referencing Katrina O'Sullivan's Outside Mullingar — stories of poverty and resilience on stage 11:21 — These stories aren't unique — the hidden impact of adverse childhood experiences 12:52 — Stories lived vs. stories told — the importance of safety and no judgment 14:25 — Growth over comfort & giving yourself permission to say no 15:33 — Invitation to the listener to reach out or come on the show 17:20 — Survivors of life — what it means to watch people get over the hump 19:15 — We want to hear the real you — the difference between the smile you wore and what you truly felt 21:29 — Orla opens up about growing up mixed-race in 80s Ireland — racism, poverty, and identity 24:27 — Don't be quick to judge — you never know what someone is carrying 25:33 — Closing thoughts — a smile goes a long way

How's Your Ma: Episode 5

In this deeply moving episode, Leanne and Orla are joined in the studio by Anita — a 57-year-old mother of five, grandmother of six, and domestic violence support worker who reached out to share her extraordinary story. Growing up as the eldest of five in a home marked by domestic abuse, neglect, and emotional trauma, Anita became a little mother at nine years old and carried the weight of her family long before she had a family of her own. From teenage pregnancies and a difficult marriage to raising five children alone without electricity, to eventually building a career, getting her honours degree, and dedicating her life to supporting women fleeing abuse — Anita's story is one of raw honesty, hard-won resilience, and the profound power of even one good person showing up for you. This one will stay with you. Timecodes: 00:00 — Welcome & introducing guest Anita 00:49 — What this episode is about: how our experiences shape the relationships we carry forward 01:04 — Anita introduces herself: 57, five kids, six grandkids, works in domestic violence services 01:45 — Single parenthood, defying expectations & raising five professionals 02:19 — Running a preschool for 20 years, going to college, and earning her honours degree 03:07 — Losing her business during Covid & reinventing herself in domestic violence work 03:12 — What Anita's day-to-day work looks like: crisis support, refuge, housing & education 04:45 — Going back to the beginning: growing up in a traumatic home environment 05:03 — "If I'm ever a mammy, I'll never do this to my little girl" — Anita's earliest memory 05:13 — Domestic abuse and child abuse in the home — physical and emotional 05:50 — Anita as the eldest child: neglect began at nine when her mother returned to work full time 06:28 — Left at home with her father — a heavy drinker with his own history of trauma 07:40 — Money, food, and cigarette butts in the stew — the reality of growing up in that house 09:17 — Did her parents love her? Understanding her father's violence through his own childhood 09:49 — Her mother: idolised as a child, emotionally unavailable as a parent 10:44 — The middle child favourite & what Anita came to understand about her mother 12:23 — Nine years old, cooking dinners and running the washing machine 22:33 — Leaving home at 17 — and what life had been like until then 23:06 — Different outcomes for different siblings & the ACEs framework explained 24:15 — Repeating the cycle: ending up in a difficult marriage, just like home 25:10 — Bringing her mum to her college graduation — and the response she got 25:52 — Proudest moment: four of them sitting around the table doing their studies together 26:58 — Teenage pregnancy: finding out at five months, being given three days to leave home 32:19 — The neighbour who took her in and loaned her the deposit — "you only need one good person" 34:18 — The night her first baby was born — ringing her mother from the hospital 40:49 — Christmas Day and the cycle of violence at home — "we dreaded Christmas" 42:18 — Married, alone, no electricity for nine months — cooking on the fire for her kids 43:49 — He came back, they married — and she knew walking down the aisle it was wrong 44:46 — Moving the family to escape heroin hitting their area 45:14 — Discovering her husband was taking drugs; going missing for days 46:11 — Having baby number five and being sterilised — a friend's husband signed the papers 46:53 — The women who shaped her life at different stages 47:45 — Moving back to Dublin, starting over — first day at work and the fire incident that became the final catalyst 48:59 — Her mother's emotional unavailability — physically present, emotionally gone 50:17 — Getting a job on a CE scheme, moving up quickly to manager, starting to bloom 52:25 — "I can see you're getting strong" — her eldest daughter at 18 53:48 — Her mother's relationship with the grandkids — hilarious but harmful 55:19 — Song of her life: Be a Clown — singing in the beds with her brothers and sisters to drown it all out 56:30 — Wrapping up: what Anita gives back every day to the women she supports 57:14 — "You are an absolute queen. You are an absolute survivor."

28. Mai 202657 min

How's Your Ma: Episode 2

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