Balancing Confidence and Humility as a Surgeon with Dr. Pamela Lee

Balancing Confidence and Humility as a Surgeon with Dr. Pamela Lee

Dr. Pamela Lee [https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-lee-362b653/] has spent her career making life-or-death decisions in the operating room while carrying the pressure that comes with being one of the few women leading in surgery. As a colorectal surgeon, robotic surgery specialist, and Chair of Surgery at both Sharp Memorial Hospital and Sharp Reese Stealy Medical Group, Pamela operates in environments where mistakes carry enormous weight and everyone is looking to her for answers. This episode of Lonely at the Top is about balancing confidence with humility, navigating the intense pressure of surgery, and learning how to lead ethically in environments shaped by ego, hierarchy, and relentless expectations. Pamela opens up about the terrifying early years of surgery, the emotional toll leadership has taken on her family life, and the moments in the operating room where she’s had to steady herself under overwhelming pressure because “if I lose it, everybody around me loses it.” She also shares powerful insights on female leadership in medicine, the evolution of surgical culture, and why the best surgeons never stop learning. Episode Highlights *  What it feels like to carry the weight of life-or-death decisions in surgery *  The hidden emotional toll of leadership in medicine and motherhood *  Why the first years as a surgeon can feel incredibly isolating *  Balancing confidence, ego, humility, and vulnerability in the operating room *  How robotic surgery technology is transforming collaboration and patient care *  The sacrifices leadership can place on family relationships and emotional bandwidth *  Why the best leaders and surgeons remain curious and willing to learn Connect with Dr. Pamela Lee Dr. Pamela Lee’s LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-lee-362b653/] ★ Support this podcast ★ ★ Support this podcast ★ [https://ko-fi.com/rachelalexandria]

Finding Identity Beyond Success with Marguerite Martin

After spending more than two decades in real estate, Marguerite Martin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/tacomarealestateagent/] never expected her work would force her to confront difficult questions about community, power, and the unintended consequences of success. What began as a civic-minded passion project to help people discover Tacoma quickly turned her into a local public figure and, eventually, a lightning rod for conversations around housing affordability, displacement, and gentrification. This episode of Lonely at the Top is about navigating the emotional complexity of leadership in the public arena and parasocial relationships. It’s about learning how to receive criticism without losing yourself, and discovering that external achievement can’t heal internal wounds. Marguerite opens up about the loneliness of entrepreneurship, the hidden mental health crash that followed her biggest professional wins, and the process of rebuilding a more grounded sense of self after years of relentless hustle. She also shares powerful reflections on leadership, accountability, aging, and the importance of staying curious in a rapidly changing world. Episode Highlights * How Marguerite became a public figure through her community-focused real estate platform  *  The loneliness and pressure of always appearing successful as an entrepreneur  * Why her biggest professional success led to a personal and emotional crash  * Learning to navigate criticism with accountability instead of defensiveness  * The difficult questions leaders must ask about success, growth, and community impact  * Why curiosity, adaptability, and self-awareness matter more with age Connect with Marguerite Marguerite’s Website [https://www.margueritemartin.com/] Marguerite’s Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/tacomarealestateagent/] Move to Tacoma Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/movetotacoma/] Marguerite's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/margueritemartinofficial/] ★ Support this podcast ★ ★ Support this podcast ★ [https://ko-fi.com/rachelalexandria]

Leading As an Act of Community Service with Bennett Peji

After growing up as one of the shyest kids—constantly moving, constantly adapting—Bennett Peji never imagined he would become a leader responsible for bringing entire communities together. From feeling like an outsider to leading large-scale, community-centered design projects, Bennett’s journey is a testament to the power of adaptability, empathy, and intentional growth. This episode of Lonely at the Top is about redefining leadership through service, not control. It’s about learning to navigate uncertainty without needing to predict the future, building trust across diverse perspectives, and turning what once felt like weaknesses into your greatest strengths. It’s also about embracing change—not resisting it—and discovering how leadership can be a shared experience rather than a solitary burden. Episode Highlights *  How Bennett transformed extreme shyness into a leadership superpower  *  Why adaptability is one of the most valuable skills a leader can develop  *  The challenge of leading diverse communities with competing perspectives  *  What it really means to “share the load” as a leader instead of carrying it alone  *  Why predicting the future isn’t necessary—and what to focus on instead  *  The power of listening and letting others co-create solutions  *  How constant change in childhood shaped Bennett’s leadership style  *  The hidden cost of leadership: losing touch with your original craft  *  Why preparation—not spontaneity—is the key to confident communication  *  How meditation and intentional routines support long-term leadership wellbeing  Connect with Bennett Bennett’s LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/bennettpeji/] Bennett’s Website [https://bennettpeji.com/] ★ Support this podcast ★ ★ Support this podcast ★ [https://ko-fi.com/rachelalexandria]

Leaders Shouldn't Have All the Answers with Jeff McAuliffe

After decades moving between corporate leadership, consulting, and academia, Jeff McAuliffe has seen leadership from every angle. From sitting at executive tables to building his own consulting practice from scratch, he’s learned that “the top” isn’t a fixed place—and that loneliness shows up in ways most people don’t expect. This episode of Lonely at the Top is about the quiet realities of leadership that no one prepares you for. It’s about navigating influence when you don’t have control, the tension between authority and authenticity, and what it really costs to hold both. It’s also about redefining leadership as something more human: less about having answers, and more about creating space for truth. Episode Highlights * Why “the top” is relative—and why loneliness can exist at every level * The hidden isolation of entrepreneurship and solo consulting * Moving from corporate leadership to building something on your own * Why great leaders don’t need to be “the one in charge” * The challenge of influencing without authority * What leaders wish they could say out loud (but usually don’t) * Why “I don’t know” might be the most powerful leadership tool * The role of emotions in leadership—and why most leaders avoid them * Navigating environments where authority doesn’t work * Leading through uncertainty while holding information you can’t share Connect with Jeff Jeff's Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffmcauliffe/]   ★ Support this podcast ★ ★ Support this podcast ★ [https://ko-fi.com/rachelalexandria]

Rewiring a Hustle-Driven Nervous System with Lauren Goche

Lauren Goche has cracked the code on something most leaders never admit they need: community. A principal real estate broker, micro-influencer, and self-described love bully, Lauren built her career by staying connected — and then discovered that even she had a chaos habit she didn't see coming. In this episode, she talks with Rachel about the expensive sabbatical lesson that revealed she didn't know how to be calm, what it looks like to lead a team with radical care as the operating principle, and the strange isolating side effects of becoming someone people recognize in restaurants, on front porches, and at lunch while accidentally stealing your phone. Episode Highlights •⁠  ⁠She nearly took a job she dreaded — and a chance conference encounter changed everything •⁠  ⁠Why Lauren deliberately chose never to own her own brokerage ("it's more headache and more lonely") •⁠  ⁠The Mexico property: how a sabbatical got too quiet and she manufactured chaos to escape the calm •⁠  ⁠Scarcity to abundance: growing up with housing instability and what it meant to be able to lose big without losing everything •⁠  ⁠The love bully philosophy — why care for each other comes before care for clients, and why she'll bring you a sandwich whether you consent or not •⁠  ⁠The parasocial side of Instagram fame: being recognized at her own front porch, and having a fan sprint away with her phone •⁠  ⁠Lost friendships, nervous system repair, and learning to say no as a complete sentence •⁠  ⁠Why community isn't soft — it's the infrastructure of a sustainable business Connect with Lauren Lauren's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/laurengoche/] ★ Support this podcast ★ [https://ko-fi.com/rachelalexandria]