11 Things I Never Say to My Kids (and Why)

11 Things I Never Say to My Kids (and Why)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/fan_mail/new] What you say to your kids matters—way more than you might realize. Several seemingly harmless words have the potential to do a LOT of damage under the surface. In fact, some of the most common parenting phrases quietly wound a child in ways you probably never intended. (Even if you’ve never said these things to your kids, there’s a good chance you’ve suffered the invisible effects of your parents saying them to you.) In this eye-opening episode, I share 11 things I never say to my kids, the neuroscience-backed reasons why, and what to say instead. I reveal how everyday language can either strengthen a child’s self-worth, or unintentionally reinforce shame, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional suppression. This isn’t about perfect parenting; it’s about consciously understanding that your words and tone become the foundation of their entire future. If you've ever wondered how to raise emotionally healthy, confident, and resilient kids without passing on your own wounds, this episode is for you.   BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * How your voice becomes your child’s inner voice * Why shame is soooo damaging to identity * Why children should never feel responsible for adult emotions * Which phrases teach a child to suppress their emotions, mask their true selves, and equate their worth with their achievements * All kinds of better ways to respond to your kids to help them cultivate the critical emotional skills they need for life     AS MENTIONED: * Brene Brown: The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting [https://amzn.to/4eA4k4t] * Dr. Becky Kennedy: Good Inside [https://amzn.to/4fZD1ml] FOR SO MUCH MORE: Join the next round of Moms Made NewTM [https://momsmadenew.com/] so stress no longer sabotages you—or your relationships: https://momsmadenew.com [https://momsmadenew.com]    Book a free consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] with Dr. Amber 1:1: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult    HOMEWORK: Reach out to me via email [http://info@solutionsforsimplicity.com] to share your thoughts on this episode.     COMING UP NEXT: Join me back next Tuesday at 5am Eastern to keep unpacking the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy. Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/]: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/ [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/] Loving this podcast? Please help it get found by more listeners by taking quick minute to leave a rating & review in Apple Podcasts. Take a screenshot of your text review before you submit it, then email that to help@solutionsforsimplicity.com and I'll send you my powerful Happy Mom Protocol™ (a $297 value) FOR FREE! CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website [https://solutionsforsimplicity.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionsforsimplicity/]  Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

To the Mom Who’s Holding It All...

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/fan_mail/new] A message straight from my heart for whoever needs to hear it: Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. Hope is here. It's time to heal.   FOR SO MUCH MORE: Book a free consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] with Dr. Amber 1:1: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult     HOMEWORK: Reach out to me via email [http://info@solutionsforsimplicity.com] or on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] @solutionsforsimplicity to share your thoughts on this episode.      COMING UP NEXT: Join me back next episode to keep unpacking the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy. Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/]: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/ [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/] CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website [https://solutionsforsimplicity.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionsforsimplicity/]  Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

Who Taught You to Talk to Yourself Like That? Where Your Inner Critic REALLY Comes From

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/fan_mail/new] If you constantly overthink, criticize yourself, replay conversations in your head, or have a harsh inner critic that won’t quit…this episode is for you. In today’s powerful conversation, I dive into the psychology and neuroscience of the inner critic — including where negative self-talk comes from, why high-achieving perfectionist women struggle with it so intensely, and how your childhood experiences shaped the way you speak to yourself today. The great news? Thanks to neuroplasticity, you can change! Words are SO powerful so we’ve got to be careful what we think and say. It’s never too late to harness the power of positive words, speak more kindly to yourself, and silence your inner critic for good. Note: This is an especially important conversation for moms who want to break generational cycles and raise emotionally healthy kids!   BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why perfectionists and people-pleasers often have harsher self-talk. * Your inner critic isn’t random. It’s the voice that was drilled into you by the way others spoke to you. * Negative self-talk is a protective adaptation—not a flaw, and definitely not the truth. * Watch your mouth: Your children are constantly absorbing not only what you say to them, but what you say about yourself.  * The hidden impact of tone, silence, and emotional invalidation.   FOR SO MUCH MORE: Join the next round of Moms Made NewTM [https://momsmadenew.com/] so stress no longer sabotages you—or your relationships: https://momsmadenew.com [https://momsmadenew.com]    Book a free consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] with Dr. Amber 1:1: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult    HOMEWORK: Observe your thoughts throughout the day to assess whether they tend to be more positive or negative. See if you can identify whose voice your inner critic sounds like. Reach out to me via email [http://info@solutionsforsimplicity.com] to share your thoughts on this episode.     COMING UP NEXT: Join me back next Tuesday at 5am Eastern to hear the 10 things I never say to my kids (and, knowing the power of words, highly recommend you don’t either). Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/]: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/ [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/] CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website [https://solutionsforsimplicity.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionsforsimplicity/]  Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

Emotional Eating: The REAL Reason Stress Makes Overwhelmed Moms Overeat (with Denise Jelinek)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/fan_mail/new] You know better but the stress from long, exhausting days as a busy mom still makes you turn to food for comfort. This episode will help you finally understand why no weight loss program or strategy has worked: because it hasn’t begun to get at the nervous system roots of your bingeing and emotional eating. In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, guest expert Denise Jelinek and I unpack the REAL root causes of stress eating, perfectionism, overwhelm, and nervous system dysregulation in motherhood. We explore why so many high-achieving women feel stuck in cycles of people-pleasing, overworking, burnout, shame, and self-neglect that lead them to binge or buffer with food or alcohol—even when they desperately want to change. This episode goes far beyond diet, calories, exercise, or “just being more disciplined.” Instead, it reveals how your nervous system, childhood conditioning, chronic stress, and subconscious survival patterns are driving the habits you wish you could break. With Denise’s wisdom, you finally can.   BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * Why stress eating is NOT a discipline problem  * The surprising reason high-achieving women often struggle most with emotional eating * What “chaos eating” is and how to identify your own hidden food triggers * The connection between nervous system regulation, emotional healing, and sustainable weight loss  and why calm can actually feel unsafe for perfectionist, anxious moms * What it looks like to heal your relationship with food from the inside out so you can finally have peace in your everyday life    FOR SO MUCH MORE: Check out all Denise has to offer:  * Weight Loss with the Holy Spirit podcast [https://weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com/podcast/]: https://weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com/podcast/ [https://weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com/podcast/]  * Weight Loss with the Holy Spirit [Weight%20Loss%20with%20the%20Holy%20Spirit] program: https://weightlosswiththeholyspirit.com/ * Follow Denise on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/catholicweightloss/]: https://www.instagram.com/catholicweightloss/ [https://www.instagram.com/catholicweightloss/]    Join the next round of Moms Made NewTM [https://momsmadenew.com/] so stress no longer sabotages you—or your relationships: https://momsmadenew.com [https://momsmadenew.com]    Book a free consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] with Dr. Amber 1:1: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult    HOMEWORK: Reach out to me via email [http://info@solutionsforsimplicity.com] or DM me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] @solutionsforsimplicity to share your thoughts on this episode.     COMING UP NEXT: Join me back next Tuesday at 5am Eastern to keep unpacking the hidden sources of stress stealing your time and joy.   Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/]: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/ [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/] Loving this podcast? Please help it get found by more listeners by taking quick minute to leave a rating & review in Apple Podcasts. Take a screenshot of your text review before you submit it, then email that to help@solutionsforsimplicity.com and I'll send you my powerful Happy Mom Protocol™ (a $297 value) FOR FREE! CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website [https://solutionsforsimplicity.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionsforsimplicity/]  Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.

You’re Carrying Everyone…But Who’s Carrying YOU? (For Overwhelmed Moms)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/fan_mail/new] You’re overwhelmed, exhausted, and constantly stressed…but if you don’t carry the load, who will? It’s HEAVY. And yet so many moms refuse to let themselves be supported in the way that actually matters. After 6+ years of coaching (coupled with my own dark past), I’ve seen what happens when moms wish things were easier but never take meaningful action to get help to make them better. In this episode, I offer solidarity with all the hardworking moms who have built their identity around being the strong, responsible one that fulfills everyone else’s needs. I then share the hard-to-hear truth that trying to DIY only increases your frustration—to the great detriment of your marriage and motherhood. There’s such a better way!    BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER: * The real problem isn’t your to-do list; it’s the belief that you have to carry the weight of it all alone. * Burnout happens when your identity gets tied to what you do for everyone else. * Stress builds not because life is hard, but because you’re unsupported—and the fastest, most effective way to fix that. * Most “self-care” is a just a superficial band-aid that never addresses the root issue. * Why trying to get your partner to pitch in and lighten the load of your overwhelm often creates more conflict, not less. * Plus the top SEVEN excuses moms give for refusing support!   FOR SO MUCH MORE: Relevant past episodes on how your capacity varies predictably with your body's natural energy rhythms:  * Why Everything Always Feels SO Hard: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/episodes/17148493 [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/episodes/17148493] * 3 Things You Need MORE than Time: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/episodes/17193724 [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2471152/episodes/17193724]   Join the next round of Moms Made NewTM [https://momsmadenew.com/] so stress no longer sabotages you—or your relationships: https://momsmadenew.com [https://momsmadenew.com]    Book a free consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] with Dr. Amber 1:1: https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult)    HOMEWORK: Brainstorm the specific things you would like more help with, then reach out to me via email [http://info@solutionsforsimplicity.com] or DM me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] @solutionsforsimplicity to explore what getting that support would look and feel like.     COMING UP NEXT: Join me back next Tuesday at 5am Eastern for a powerful interview revealing the real reason your weight loss and diet efforts always fail. Don't miss my LIVE masterclass on "13 Things Nobody's Telling You About Your Nervous System" on Thursday, July 9th at 3pm Eastern. Use code EARLYBIRD13 for $20off through June 30th. Sign up here [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/]: https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/ [https://solutionsforsimplicity.thrivecart.com/13things/] Loving this podcast? Please help it get found by more listeners by taking quick minute to leave a rating & review in Apple Podcasts. Take a screenshot of your text review before you submit it, then email that to help@solutionsforsimplicity.com and I'll send you my powerful Happy Mom Protocol™ (a $297 value) FOR FREE! CONNECT WITH AMBER: Website [https://solutionsforsimplicity.com/] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/solutionsforsimplicity] | LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/solutionsforsimplicity/]  Ready to finally get to the root of your problems and change your life FOR GOOD? Book your free 60-minute consult [https://tidycal.com/solutionsforsimplicity/free-consult] to learn more about working 1:1 with Dr. Amber.