Understanding meltdowns and what we can do to help | Lisa Galley

Understanding meltdowns and what we can do to help | Lisa Galley

Mark welcomes back a Neuroshambles favourite Lisa Galley, for a deep dive into one of the topics every family raising neurodivergent kids will recognise: meltdowns. As an autism family consultant and mum to three of her own, fully grown neurodivergent humans, Lisa brings a wealth of lived experience to help unpick what is really going on in a child's brain and body when their nervous system tips beyond its limits. Mark and Lisa explore the three main contributing factors to meltdowns, before working through the four main survival responses that PDA and other neurodivergent kids can show when overwhelmed: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. They also tackle one of the most frustrating bugbears for parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids - the assumption that a meltdown is simply a tantrum. They dissect exactly why the two are worlds apart and why treating one like the other often makes things worse. They share honest, sometimes hair-raising stories from their own households, from the most extreme of flight responses to an epic meltdown triggered by an Easter egg hunt and they offer a genuinely practical rundown of what can help before, during and after a meltdown happens. It's the kind of grounded, funny, non-judgemental chat about parenting neurodivergent kids that Neuroshambles listeners are looking - whether they're seeking autistic parenting advice for the first time or simply want to feel a little less alone in the chaos.   CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:10 - Meet the guest: Lisa Galley returns 00:03:02 - Topic of the week: what actually is a meltdown? 00:04:48 - The window of tolerance and the nervous system 00:13:37 - Three main causes of meltdown: sensory, communication and unpredictability 00:23:15 - Fight, flight, freeze and fawn: the four meltdown responses 00:43:00 - Tantrums vs meltdowns: what's the difference? 00:49:31 - Common misconceptions about meltdowns 00:50:55 - Public meltdowns and dealing with judgement 00:57:53 - Spotting the signs before a meltdown happens 01:06:43 - What actually helps during a meltdown 01:18:39 - The Positives 01:21:48 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:26:31 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:30:39 - What The Flip? Moments   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Parenting Your Autistic Child: Permission to Do It Differently, by Lisa Galley - https://amzn.eu/d/09LMvRVR [https://amzn.eu/d/09LMvRVR] Lisa Galley's website - https://lisagalley.com [https://lisagalley.com/] Lisa Galley's free Autism Parenting Guide to Meltdowns (plus bonus meltdown tracker) - https://learn.lisagalley.com/meltdownsguide [https://learn.lisagalley.com/meltdownsguide] Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/0cE2Sjcq [https://amzn.eu/d/0cE2Sjcq] Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share]   📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com [http://www.neuroshambles.com/] 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com [hello@neuroshambles.com] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share]   🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Why is sleep such a battle for neurodivergent kids? | Michelle Cyril

The issue of how to navigate sleep with our neurodivergent kids is one of the most requested topics on Neuroshambles, so Mark brought in someone who actually knows what she's talking about. This episode tackles the question that haunts pretty much every household raising neurodivergent kids: how do you get them to sleep, keep them asleep, and stop them waking up at some ungodly hour demanding an apple? Mark is joined by Michelle Cyril, a children's nurse and fully qualified paediatric sleep consultant who specialises in supporting families of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. She's also a parent of neurodivergent twins herself, so this isn't advice from someone lecturing from a textbook - it's advice from someone who's been on the sharp end of three-hour bedtime battles too. Mark and Michelle break bedtime down into its component parts of chaos: the bedtime routine itself, actually getting to sleep, staying asleep through the night, and waking up - wether that’s ludicrously early, or begrudgingly late. They cover why traditional sleep advice is largely useless for neurodivergent kids, how PDA turns bedtime into a demand minefield, and dive into the knotty issue of melatonin. Anyone wondering whether melatonin is safe, why GPs are so reluctant to prescribe it, or why their kid can't seem to switch their brain off at night will find answers here. Whether it's a PDA profile, an ADHD brain that won't switch off, or a kid who just runs unnervingly hot in bed, there's something in this episode for most Neuroshamblers.   CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated) 00:01:48 - Meet the Guest: Michelle Cyril 00:04:00 - Topic of the Week: Why Sleep Is Such a Battle 00:13:39 - The Traditional Sleep Advice That Just Doesn't Work 00:16:13 - Making Bedtime Routines Fun Instead of Boring 00:26:35 - PDA, Demand Avoidance and Bedtime 00:34:06 - Getting to Sleep: Busy Brains and Familiar Stories 00:45:11 - The Melatonin Debate 00:58:39 - Staying Asleep: Night Waking and Anxiety 01:10:46 - The Early Morning Wake-Up Struggle 01:17:23 - The Impact of Poor Sleep on Parents 01:23:02 - Sleep Deprivation and Its Ripple Effects 01:26:44 - Finding the Silver Linings 01:28:39 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:31:48 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:35:58 - What the Flip?   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share] Michelle Cyril, Family Sleep Specialist - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/ [https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/] Busy Brains at Bedtime (Michelle's free download) - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/busy-brains-guide/ [https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/busy-brains-guide/] Greeking Out (National Geographic podcast) - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/ [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/] Michael Gradisar - https://winksleep.online/about-michael-gradisar [https://winksleep.online/about-michael-gradisar] Confusional Arousals - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/confusional-arousal [https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/confusional-arousal] Neuro Embrace, Madeleine Woolgar - https://www.neuro-embrace.com [https://www.neuro-embrace.com] ARFID Life UK - https://www.facebook.com/p/ARFID-Life-UK-61569140673395/ [https://www.facebook.com/p/ARFID-Life-UK-61569140673395/]   📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com [http://www.neuroshambles.com/] 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com [hello@neuroshambles.com] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share]   CREDITS 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

School “avoidance”: Part 2 - The impact on families and what we can do about it

Part two of our deep dive into EBSA for neurodivergent children is essential listening for anyone navigating the school avoidance minefield as a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child - whether they are autistic, ADHD, PDA profile, or any combination of the above. Heidi Mavir returns to offer her advice as someone who has lived every corner of this experience - not only in her own life, but also through her advocacy work with thousands of families affected by barriers to attendance. In this episode, we dig into the real-world impact - the emotional, financial and logistical strain it places on families. We also look at practical things parents can actually do if their child is experiencing barriers to attendance - from how absences should be coded at school, to what the Children's Wellbeing Bill means for home education rights, to when a part-time timetable might help and when it's just a sticking plaster. If you're wrestling with EBSA daily and you’re looking for advice that's rooted in lived experience, this is the episode for you.   CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:28 - Meet The Guest 00:03:25 - Topic of the Week: Barriers to Attendance Part 2 00:03:59 - Parental Blame and Being Doubted by School Professionals 00:09:32 - Attendance Targets, Fines, and Rewarding Full Attendance 00:13:23 - "Make Home Less Appealing" and Other Unhelpful Advice 00:17:49 - Why Exposure Therapy Doesn't Work for EBSA 00:21:35 - The Emotional, Financial and Relational Impact on Parents 00:35:34 - What You Can Actually Do: Practical Advice for Families 00:53:15 - Home Education, Deregistering and the Children's Wellbeing Bill 01:11:46 - EOTAS and When School Just Isn't the Right Shape 01:15:07 - It's Not All Rubbish: Specialist Settings and What Works 01:20:05 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:25:19 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:31:10 - What the Flip! LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of all What the Flip moments from all 59 episodes) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share] Your Child Is Not Broken book, Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book [https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book] Your Child Is Not Broken free Facebook community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/eotasmatters [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eotasmatters] Heidi Mavir: The Marble run - https://www.heidimavir.com/the-marble-run [https://www.heidimavir.com/the-marble-run] Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Act - https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3909 [https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3909] Section 19 of Children and Families Act - https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/6/section/19 [https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/6/section/19] EOTAS, EOTIS, EOTISC - https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home-education-and-education-otherwise [https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home-education-and-education-otherwise] Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk [https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk/] Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/ [https://www.definefine.org.uk/] SEND Advocacy Limited (Alice) - https://www.sendadvocacy.com/ [https://www.sendadvocacy.com/] Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/ [https://www.audhdacious.com/] Make and Create Club - https://www.audhdacious.com/make-and-create/club/ [https://www.audhdacious.com/make-and-create/club/] Eliza Fricker and "Can't Not Won't" - https://amzn.eu/d/0bMMrrwa [https://amzn.eu/d/0bMMrrwa]   📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com [http://www.neuroshambles.com/] 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com [hello@neuroshambles.com] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share [https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share]   🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com [https://pixabay.com]

School "Avoidance": Part 1 - What it is and how to spot it | Heidi Mavir

If you are a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child, the chances are that school attendance has been a topic that has kept you awake at night. Whether you know it as school refusal, emotionally based school avoidance, or one of a dozen other terms, it is one of the most stressful and isolating things a family can go through. As a neurodivergent parenting podcast, Neuroshambles has been asked about this topic more than almost any other, so this week’s guest is one of the best in the business. Heidi Mavir is a best-selling author, public speaker, late-identified autistic and ADHD adult, and one of the most knowledgeable and tireless advocates for SEND families in the UK. Her own journey with her son Theo, who went from full school attendance to none at all in the space of a few months at the age of fourteen, gives her both the lived experience and the hard-won expertise to talk about this topic like very few others can. This is Part 1 of a two-part episode, so here we focus on what barriers to attendance actually looks like in neurodivergent children and young people - from the terminology chaos to the sensory nightmare of school environments, the morning meltdowns, the masking, the after-school explosions, the physical symptoms, and ultimately what can happen when it all builds up into burnout. Part 2 will focus on the family impact and what you can actually do about it. If you are a parent trying to make sense of what is happening with your child and school, this one is for you.   CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:37 - Meet the Guest - Heidi Mavir 00:05:08 - What is EBSA? Unpacking the Terminology 00:19:01 - Why School is a Sensory and Emotional Minefield 00:30:40 - The PDA Dimension - Demand Avoidance in School 00:35:27 - Early Signs of Barriers to Attendance 00:42:00 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn and Flop - Polyvagal Theory 00:45:33 - After-School Meltdowns and the Masking Behind Them 00:52:19 - Physical Symptoms - When the Body Tells the Story 00:57:01 - What Changes Outside of School? 01:03:41 - How Barriers to Attendance Build Up Gradually Over Time 01:07:42 - Autistic Burnout - When It All Catches Up 01:17:22 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:20:13 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:23:04 - What the Flip?   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Your Child Is Not Broken by Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book [https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book] EOTAS Matters - https://www.heidimavir.com/forfamilies [https://www.heidimavir.com/forfamilies] PDA Society: School Distress - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/pda-and-emotionally-based-school-avoidance-ebsa/ [https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/pda-and-emotionally-based-school-avoidance-ebsa/] Kieran Rose: School Induced Trauma - https://theautisticadvocate.com/school-refusal-or-school-induced-trauma-rethinking-ebsa-ebsna-and-the-harm-we-call-help/ [https://theautisticadvocate.com/school-refusal-or-school-induced-trauma-rethinking-ebsa-ebsna-and-the-harm-we-call-help/] Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/ [https://www.audhdacious.com/] Polyvagal Theory - https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory [https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory] Scouts UK - https://www.scouts.org.uk/ [https://www.scouts.org.uk/] Heidi Mavir/Rachel Filmer webinar on SEND Reform Proposals - https://eotasmatters.kartra.com/page/WhitePaperWebinar [https://eotasmatters.kartra.com/page/WhitePaperWebinar] Black SEN Mamas - https://blacksenmamas.com/ [https://blacksenmamas.com/] Rachel Filmer - https://www.instagram.com/sendra.uk/ [https://www.instagram.com/sendra.uk/] Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk [https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk/] Square Peg - https://www.teamsquarepeg.co.uk/ [https://www.teamsquarepeg.co.uk/] Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/ [https://www.definefine.org.uk/]   📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com [http://www.neuroshambles.com/] 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com [hello@neuroshambles.com] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/ [https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/] 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod [https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles/ [https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles/]   🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Screen Time: Part 2 - The Downsides For Neurodivergent Kids | Hannah Woods

This week we're back with part two of a candid, deep dive into screen time. Last time we covered all the good stuff - the regulation, the social connection, the sense of mastery. This time, we're braving the darker side of the coin. Mark is joined again by Hannah, mum to nine-year-old Henry (autistic, ADHD, PDA profile) and six-year-old Thea (suspected neurotypical). Together they work through the thornier aspects of neurodivergent parenting and screen time - addiction, in-game spending, safeguarding and parental controls. They also take an honest look at crushing guilt and the shame that often lies underneath it, as well as how to handle transitions off screens without descending into full-scale conflict. For anyone trying to navigate neurodivergency parenting without a rulebook, this episode won't give you all the answers, but it will make you feel considerably less alone. ------------ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:01:10 - Meet the Guest 00:02:34 - This Week's Topic: Screen Time - The Difficult Bits 00:03:48 - Screen Addiction, ADHD and the Dopamine Loop 00:16:12 - Managing Screen Time: Swapping One Dopamine Hit for Another 00:21:57 - In-Game Spending, Roblox and Robux 00:29:16 - Safeguarding and Online Safety 00:34:10 - Parental Controls: A Full-Time Job 00:46:52 - Are Screens Putting Our Kids Off Other Kinds of Play? 00:50:39 - Using Screens as a Tool for Transitions and Outings 00:56:38 - Getting Them Off Screens: Transition Strategies That (Sometimes) Work 01:01:45 - Parental Guilt, Shame and Societal Judgement 01:12:46 - It's Not All Rubbish 01:15:12 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:21:43 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:25:48 - What the Flip Moments ------------ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles Live, Brighton (23rd July 2026) - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers [http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers] Alternatively, search "Neuroshambles Live" on https://www.eventbrite.co.uk [https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/] and use the access code “Neuroshamblers” for the discounted rate of £8 throughout May. After that, tickets go on general sale for £10. Screen time: Part 1 episode - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/screen-time-part-1-the-benefits-for-neurodivergent-kids-hannah-woods [https://neuroshambles.com/episode/screen-time-part-1-the-benefits-for-neurodivergent-kids-hannah-woods] ADHD and dopamine - https://www.additudemag.com/brain-stimulation-and-adhd-cravings-dependency-and-regulation/ [https://www.additudemag.com/brain-stimulation-and-adhd-cravings-dependency-and-regulation/] Roblox - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox] Grow a garden - https://growa-garden.io/ [https://growa-garden.io/] Apple parental controls - https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121 [https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121] Google parental controls - https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/15077835?hl=en [https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/15077835?hl=en] Microsoft parental controls - https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/microsoft-365/family-safety [https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/microsoft-365/family-safety] Crunchyroll - https://www.crunchyroll.com/ [https://www.crunchyroll.com/] Tech Smart Parenting book by Catherine Knibbs - https://amzn.eu/d/0iqIy0cv [https://amzn.eu/d/0iqIy0cv] Holidays Episode of Neuroshambles - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/holidays-dr-hildi-mitchell [https://neuroshambles.com/episode/holidays-dr-hildi-mitchell] Cards against humanity - https://amzn.eu/d/08Dn7YIt [https://amzn.eu/d/08Dn7YIt] Smartphone Free Childhood - https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/ [https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/] Spectrum Squad Penarth - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/] ------------ 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com [http://www.neuroshambles.com/] 📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com [hello@neuroshambles.com] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles ------------ 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com