Is Internal Family Systems Bullsh*t ?

Life Skills Toolbox: Body Doubling

Struggling with household tasks due to overwhelm or ADHD? Vanessa Gorelkin shares a compassionate, step-by-step body doubling approach to help you initiate and complete chores with less stress. This episode offers practical exercises to tackle cleaning, laundry, and dishes in manageable blocks, emphasizing progress over perfection. Key Topics: * The concept of body doubling and its benefits for neurodivergent brains * Why tasks pile up: breaking down complex chores into simple, achievable steps * How co-presence reduces cognitive load and increases task initiation * The importance of micro-movements and focusing on one item at a time * Guided routines for cleaning a room, doing laundry, and washing dishes * Strategies for managing overwhelm, including silence and pacing techniques * Encouragement to view progress as meaningful, not perfect We hope you enjoy this body doubling experiential episode! Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

Fear of being Perceived

Embracing Visibility: Overcoming Fear of Being Perceived What is the fear of being perceived? Discover practical ways to navigate the universal fear of being perceived in a world obsessed with visibility.  Vanessa Gorelkin explores this fear and why it intensifies, especially in the digital age and post-pandemic, and offers actionable strategies to build confidence and authenticity. Main Topics: * The emotional experience behind the fear of being perceived * How hyper-visibility impacts mental health and behavior * Practical exercises to gradually increase comfort with visibility  In this episode: * Why the fear of being perceived isn’t about literal watching but interpretation * The rise of hyper-visibility and self-surveillance in modern culture * Common behavioral responses: shrinking, masking, disappearing  * The importance of 'being seen' as a fundamental human need * Three practical experiments to reduce fear: micro-visibility, separating perception from judgment, letting others be wrong * How the pandemic has heightened self-consciousness and self-observation * Accepting imperfection and building resilience against misinterpretation Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

The Second Wind Phenomenon

In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin dives into the science behind the second wind phenomenon and how understanding your circadian rhythms can help you harness your natural energy peaks. Learn practical strategies to create earlier moments of safety and unclench your nervous system for increased daytime productivity. * The biological basis of the second wind and circadian rhythms * How and why your brain experiences a surge of energy late at night * Practical techniques to shift renewal moments earlier in your day  * Understanding safety cues that help your nervous system relax * Creating micro moments of calm to optimize daytime alertness * How to balance evening energy surges with next-day productivity In this episode: * What the second wind phenomenon is and the science behind it * Why your brain feels alert and clear in late hours without external demands * The hidden cost of late-night energy and how it affects tomorrow’s energy * Techniques for inducing an earlier "unclench" moment to improve daytime focus * How to recreate quiet, demand-free environments earlier in the day  * The importance of safety signals like exhaling longer, small wins, and routines * Real-world advice for those experiencing peak energy at unconventional times * The mental shift from blame to understanding your natural rhythms     Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

Doubt as a super power: Motivational Interviewing

In this episode, host Vanessa Gorelkin describes how doubt can be harnessed to create a powerful path towards reaching our most important goals. As a follow up to the Motivation episode: learn about a technique that is used to help people with addiction, weight management, exercise goals and much more, called Motivational Interviewing. This episode provides some starting instruction in this powerful process so that you can experience the power of turning ambivalence into action.  Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

Is Internal Family Systems Bullsh*t ?

Title: Unpacking Internal Family Systems: Benefits, Critiques, and Practical InsightsIn this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), sharing her personal experiences, scientific findings, common critiques, anda practical exercise. Whether you're a practitioner, client, or simply curious about this approach, you'll find valuable insights into how IFS can support healing and self-understanding.Key Topics: * The principles behind Internal Family Systems: parts, self, and internal leadership * Vanessa's personal experiences and how IFS fosters breakthroughs * The controversy: critiques around research, metaphor reliance, and trauma oversimplification * Scientific evidence supporting IFS: PTSD reduction, emotional regulation, and empowerment * The response to critiques: research limitations, the role of imagery, and trauma complexity * Practical demonstration: a safe, simple IFS exercise for self-awareness * How to assess a therapist's use of IFS and avoid potential misuse  * The importance of applying IFS within a broader, trauma-informed context * The potential for transformation when used ethically and skillfully Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]