Sayonara Cupcake
EP43 → dr. guy mankowski, psychologist, senior lecturer in creative writing at the university of lincoln, author of several books including how i left the national grid, albion’s secret history, and former lead singer of the band alba nova. he joins me to discuss his eye-opening and at times controversial biography of former hole bassist kristen pfaff…and the remarkable woman behind the music.when he reached out and asked if i’d be interested in talking about his kristen pfaff project, i was immediately curious…but i also had questions.working with the private writings of someone who died so young is a huge responsibility. unlike reading the journals of someone from centuries ago, many of the people in kristen’s life are still here. they have families, their own memories, and their own experiences. before i even opened the manuscript, i genuinely found myself wondering what kind of story this was trying to tell.he kindly sent me an advance copy of the manuscript, and something unexpected happened.what completely hooked me wasn’t the tapes or the mythology that has surrounded the grunge scene for decades…it was the first half of the book, before seattle, where kristen comes to life through her own essays, journals, family memories, photographs, and the people who knew and loved her.once the story reaches seattle, it naturally enters a world that, at best, was experienced through foggy lenses. addiction, grief, youth, trauma, fame…everyone lived that period differently, and recollections naturally vary.because of that, i found myself far more interested in reading kristen in her own words…from her teenage years through university, watching her empathy, curiosity, and remarkable intelligence reveal themselves long before the world knew her as the bassist of hole.by the time i finished reading, i wasn’t thinking about headlines or controversy anymore. i finished it with a genuine sense of mourning for someone i finally felt i knew…not simply as the bassist of hole, but as a daughter, sister, student, activist, counselor, writer, and remarkably empathetic human being.that’s the conversation this book led me to have.
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