Rabbi Ben: is friction good in a marriage?

Our decision :)

After months of discussions with friends, family, strangers, and experts, Maxson and Emily have made a decision. And, we are announcing it here in our final episode! To all of you who have been a part of our journey, thank you. We are so grateful and happy.

Rob: should we have a prenup?

We talk to Rob Schuham, a friend and author, about how he gave up 90% of his net worth to his ex-wife in his divorce more than 20 years ago. He walks us through the arc of his relationship, explaining how he ignored tensions early on while convincing himself that living together, getting engaged, and then getting married would somehow resolve deeper incompatibilities. After this emotional and financial journey, Rob spent decades firmly against ever getting married again but, now, he is warming up to it provided the relationship is grounded in love, reality, and a prenuptial agreement. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily talk about if we want a prenup, and if we are in love with the real, current versions of ourselves - or a projection of who we hope the other person will evolve into.

Rabbi Ben: is friction good in a marriage?

We talk to Rabbi Ben Spratt, Emily's beloved family rabbi, about the Jewish idea that restriction is what makes something sacred: that you haven't really made a choice until you've also chosen what you're not going to do. He also tells us about some "Epic Jewish Stuff" like Onah, a 1,600-year-old Talmudic law obligating husbands to sexually pleasure their wives. At the end of the episode, Rabbi Ben puts Maxson and Emily on the spot, asking each of them how the other has called them into a better version of themselves.

Archie: does divorce hurt your kids?

We talk to Archie, a substance abuse counselor, nationally ranked yo-yoer, and the son of Isabel from Episode 4. He has eight divorces in his immediate family, including his own parents'. He tells us about going through addiction and recovery programs, and how lucky he was to have all of his parents and step-parents showing up for him during treatment. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily ask each other: do we think we would have a nice divorce?

Nico Ceremony: what does it feel like to get married?

We try out getting married to each other with a ceremony - vows and all - put together by Nico Raineau, professional wedding officiant, who we first spoke with back in Episode 8. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily reflect on how the experience changed how they feel about getting actually married.