Who We Invite and Why

Who We Invite and Why

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  said: “The worst food is that of a walima to which the rich are invited while the poor are excluded.” (Bukhari 5177) We have seen from our elders the desire to include all kinds of people in the great celebrations of their lives. Many of them had a Prophetic sentiment at the heart of their actions: they did not want their gatherings to become exclusive to only the rich and fancy people of their communities. They realized there is blessing in including those who are poor, of lesser means, because doing so is an act that is liked by Allah, and because of how happy it makes them to be included at occasions of celebratory feasts. In this Hadith, the Prophet ﷺ states that the worst kind of food is the food of a “walima” (wedding or other celebratory feast). He also cited the specific reason for which he characterized it as "worst": namely, that those who are invited to it are those who have no need for it—namely, the wealthy—while those who yearn for it and eagerly await it—namely, the poor—are excluded from it. Thus, this constitutes the worst kind of food, for those who are most deserving of it are not invited. This statement is based upon what typically occurs. Unfortunately, as a general rule, the practice regarding walima feasts involves excluding the poor and needy, while gathering the wealthy, favoring them with the finest food, assigning them the seats of honor, giving them precedence, and other such practices that commonly prevail at such feasts. In this episode, we talk about how many of us are losing the ability to get along naturally with people who are poor. Not only do we not invite them to our walimas, we aren’t even familiar with anyone in our locales who could use a helping hand or who could benefit from our charity and zakat. Added to this is the pressure of social media aesthetics, where the cost of our banquets continues to go up to “keep up with the Joneses,” making it more and more remote that we would ever include anyone except our own exclusive social contacts. We should take warning from the example of the Companions of the Prophet (Allah be pleased with them) and from the teachings of our Beloved Prophet himself ﷺ, that to live within our own socioeconomic bubble is a serious problem. It brings darkness to our gatherings and a greed for more and more. But to know and love and include people who are not as well off as us is a source of blessing for us and for them, and a means to maintain healthier and more vibrant and Godconscious societies. TEXT IN FOCUS: شَرُّ الطَّعَامِ طَعَامُ الْوَلِيمَةِ يُدْعَى لَهَا الأَغْنِيَاءُ، وَيُتْرَكُ الْفُقَرَاءُ، وَمَنْ تَرَكَ الدَّعْوَةَ فَقَدْ عَصَى اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏ The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “The worst food is that of a feast to which the rich are invited while the poor are excluded.” (Bukhari 5177)  JOIN US thesilainitiative.org [http://thesilainitiative.org/] ⁠Telegram⁠ [https://t.me/joinchat/T_6_lYpumm6JSiZe] ⁠Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@thesilainitiative]

Fulfilling Spousal Needs: Sadaqa and the Angels’ Curse

There are numerous Prophetic teachings (ahadith) that emphasize the duty of spouses to fulfill each other’s intimate needs. When taken together, what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us about this matter is sensitive, comprehensive, and extremely helpful in preserving the sanctity of marriage and the feeling of tender care (mawadda and rahma (Q 30:21)) that is so important in a marital relationship. The Prophet ﷺ has taught us, taking care of this need of the spouse is a very critical part of one’s religious practice. Hadith 1: The Prophet ﷺ established a bond between Salman and Abu al-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abu al-Darda and found Um al-Darda' dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu al-Darda is not interested in the luxuries of this world." In the meantime, Abu al-Darda came and prepared a meal for Salman, and said to him, "Eat for I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat, unless you eat." So Abu al-Darda' ate. When it was night, Abu al-Darda' got up night/tahajjud prayer. Salman said , "Sleep," and he slept. Again Abu al-Darda' got up for the prayer, and Salman said , "Sleep." When it was the last part of the night, Salman said to him, "Get up now (for the prayer)." So both of them offered their prayers and Salman said to Abu al-Darda', "Your Lord has a right over you; and your soul has a right over you; and your family has a right over you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right over you.” Later Abu al-Darda' visited the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned [what had transpired] to him. The Prophet ﷺ  said, "Salman has spoken the truth." (Bukhari 6139) Hadith 2: In a hadith reported by Abu Dharr, the Messenger ﷺ said: “In man's sexual intercourse (with his wife), there is a Sadaqa.” They (the Companions) said: “Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us?” He said: “Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward.” (Muslim) Hadith 3: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.” (Bukhari and Muslim) Hadith 4: Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: “The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.” (Muslim) TEXT IN FOCUS: The Prophet ﷺ established a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu al-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abu al-Darda and found Um al-Darda' dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu al-Darda is not interested in the luxuries of this world." In the meantime, Abu al-Darda came and prepared a meal for him (Salman), and said to him, "(Please) eat for I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat, unless you eat." So Abu al-Darda' ate. When it was night, Abu al-Darda' got up (for the night/tahajjud prayer). Salman said (to him), "Sleep," and he slept. Again Abu al-Darda' got up (for the prayer), and Salman said (to him), "Sleep." When it was the last part of the night, Salman said to him, "Get up now (for the prayer)." So both of them offered their prayers and Salman said to Abu al-Darda', "Your Lord has a right over you; and your soul has a right over you; and your family has a right over you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right over you.” Later Abu al-Darda' visited the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned [what had transpired]. The Prophet ﷺ  said, "Salman has spoken the truth." (Bukhari 6139)  JOIN US thesilainitiative.org [http://thesilainitiative.org/] ⁠Telegram⁠ [https://t.me/joinchat/T_6_lYpumm6JSiZe] ⁠Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@thesilainitiative]

Living Ethically–The Prophetic Way

We should give charity and do good for others for their sake. That is from spiritual excellence (ihsan)—to want for your brother what you want for yourself. But not everyone can live up to that high level of ethics. For those who cannot, there is still Prophetic guidance that compels one to do good in the world. If I do good or avoid harming others only for the sake of my own benefit in the Afterlife, that also counts as a commendable action in Islam. This episode unpacks the Prophetic roadmap toward ethical living contained in the following hadith: Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Charity is a duty upon every Muslim.” They said, “What if he has nothing?” The Prophet said, “Then he should work with his hands to benefit himself and give in charity.” They said, “What if he cannot do so [out of inability or laziness]?” The Prophet said, “Then he should help a depressed, needy person.” They said, “What if he cannot do so?” The Prophet said, “Then he should enjoin goodness and virtue.” They said, “What if he cannot do so?” The Prophet said, “Then he should refrain from evil, for that will be his charity.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6022, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1008  This hadith makes it a requirement on every believer to give sadaqa, or charity, on a regular basis. But if one is unable to give money, he is taught to do whatever else he can for the people around him: by helping them out in a non-monetary way, or by encouraging them toward good acts, or, at the very least, by refraining from harming them. According to this hadith, simply stopping oneself from doing evil becomes an act of charity! In this episode, Dr. Fareeha Khan and Syeda Fatima Quadri unpack how easy the Prophetic teaching makes it for people to live ethically in our world. To live ethically, one doesn’t necessarily have to live off the grid, shop only locally, or aim to make justice prevail all on one’s own. This teaching shows that positive ethical contribution is attainable for everyone, not just those who have a high moral drive. TEXT IN FOCUS: Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Charity is a duty upon every Muslim.” They said, “What if he has nothing?” The Prophet said, “Then he should work with his hands to benefit himself and give in charity.” They said, “What if he cannot do so [out of inability or laziness]?” The Prophet said, “Then he should help a depressed, needy person.” They said, “What if he cannot do so?” The Prophet said, “Then he should enjoin goodness and virtue.” They said, “What if he cannot do so?” The Prophet said, “Then he should refrain from evil, for that will be his charity.” (Bukhari and Muslim) TAGS: #sadaqa #prophetic-teachings #islamic-charity #dr-fareeha-khan #sila JOIN US thesilainitiative.org [http://thesilainitiative.org/] ⁠Telegram⁠ [https://t.me/joinchat/T_6_lYpumm6JSiZe] ⁠Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@thesilainitiative]

On Forgiveness

“I’d rather be understood than forgiven” is an unusual sentiment, but one that many modern people can relate to. Forgiveness as a concept and as an aspiration has lost its allure in contemporary society. However, in more religious societies of the past, it was an obvious thing to aspire toward. Unfortunately, when we do not see forgiveness as a moral value in society, our relationships with each other become weak. What would be the reason to forgive someone who harms you, when you can’t see how your relationship fits into the bigger picture of human society and human existence? If I know that I am weak and make mistakes and need God’s forgiveness, then I will be much more able to forgive someone else when they do wrong to me. But if I don’t recognize my own human weakness—and that I am eventually going to answer to God myself—then it becomes very hard for me to see any reason to overlook someone else’s wrongdoing. To be able to forgive, one must personally have the desire to be forgiven themselves. As we see in the famous story of “Ifk” in the sirah, where our Mother Sayyida Aisha was falsely accused of a horrendous sin, the greatest figures of Islamic history were able to forgive some of the worst transgressions, because they recognized the weakness of their own humanity, and how much they themselves were in need of Allah’s forgiveness and favor. It was after this incident that Allah told us: “But let them pardon, and pay no mind to the slight: Would you not all love Allah to forgive you? And Allah is all-forgiving, all-compassionate” (Quran, Surah al-Nur, 24:22). Another thing that helps us forgive and overlook each other’s mistakes is having a common set of rules for what is right and wrong. We are losing sight in modern society of a shared moral standard. With no shared rules, our society is hurling toward greater immorality, but because we don’t agree on what is right and wrong, when a transgression does occur, we are less able to agree on the fact that something wrong has happened. If we can’t even agree that wrongdoing has occurred, the seeking and giving of forgiveness become even more remote. This episode invites us to consider the great value of forgiving others for the sake of Allah. As a prerequisite to this, it also asks us to consider rebuilding within and among ourselves a shared sense of morality, so that we as Muslims maintain a clear idea of what kinds of wrongs should be forgiven and why. By rekindling a desire to repair and maintain our bonds with each other for a higher purpose, we can help our families and societies become healthier on many levels: emotionally, spiritually, and in the practical aspects of our daily lives. TEXT IN FOCUS: وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ  “But let them pardon, and pay no mind to the slight: Would you not all love Allah to forgive you? And Allah is all-forgiving, all- compassionate.” Quran, Surah al-Nur, 24:22 TAGS: JOIN US thesilainitiative.org [http://thesilainitiative.org/] ⁠Telegram⁠ [https://t.me/joinchat/T_6_lYpumm6JSiZe] ⁠Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@thesilainitiative]

Women Feeling Left Out in Ramadan

Having to care for kids, to cook and feed everyone their iftar and suhur meals, and then not being able to pray and fast during the days of menstruation…These factors lead some women to feel as if they are missing the blessings and benefits of Ramadan. The idea that women simply cannot catch up with men is so engrained in the modern Western mind that some modernist type Muslim activists will even encourage menstruating women to pray and fast in Ramadan if they feel up to it. The idea is that women can take charge of their Ramadan schedule on their own terms and not be compelled to miss out on anything that men are able to take part in. In this episode, we talk about the fact that the worship of Ramadan is defined not by men or women’s standards, but by Allah’s standards. As we see in the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, “Whoever fasts Ramadan, out of faith (iman) and expecting reward (ihtisaban), will have his previous sins forgiven” (Bukhari, 38). The phrase “out of faith and expecting reward” is a key condition here. As a commentator on the hadith explains, this phrase means that one should fast in Ramadan: “1) out of belief in the command to do so, 2) knowing its obligation, 3) fearing the punishment for neglecting it, and 4) and hoping for the great reward of fasting.” The commentator goes on to explain that “these are the characteristics of a believer, i.e. one who has iman” (المرادُ مَن صامه تصديقًا بالأمرِ به، عالِمًا بوجوبِه، خائفًا مِن عقابِ تركِه، محتسِبًا جزيلَ الأجرِ في صومِه، وهذه صفةُ المؤمِنِ al-Durar al-Saniyya). What does this hadith then tell us about women and how they feel about the fasting and all the other work they do during Ramadan? The main point is: do it for Allah, and you will not be disappointed. We simply need to turn our focus toward the fact that it is Allah who has blessed Ramadan, and it is He who will recompense every Muslim according to their degree of striving. In this way, the tediousness of cooking and feeding, and even the ritually preventative nature of menstruation end up having great positive value in the life and worship of a believing woman. This episode references Ustadha Sadaf Khan Ahmad’s article on women’s worship in Ramadan, available soon on the Sila Initiative’s website (thesilainitiative.org). TEXT IN FOCUS: عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَوْفٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ رَمَضَانَ شَهْرٌ افْتَرَضَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ صِيَامَهُ وَإِنِّي سَنَنْتُ لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ قِيَامَهُ فَمَنْ صَامَهُ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا خَرَجَ مِنْ الذُّنُوبِ كَيَوْمِ وَلَدَتْهُ أُمُّهُ Abdur Rahman ibn Awf reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Ramadan is a month in which Allah Almighty has obligated its fasting. I have instituted for Muslims the practice of prayer at night. Thus, whoever fasts it with faith and expecting reward will be rid of sins like the day he was born from his mother.” Source: Musnad Aḥmad 1688 TAGS: #MenstruationAndRamadan, #WomenAndRamadan, #RamadanBlessings (feel free to edit/change/add) JOIN US thesilainitiative.org [http://thesilainitiative.org/] ⁠Telegram⁠ [https://t.me/joinchat/T_6_lYpumm6JSiZe] ⁠Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@thesilainitiative]