The Things We Were Never Taught to Hold EP 90

The Things We Were Never Taught to Hold EP 90

A recent breathwork session took me somewhere I wasn't expecting. Back to the room where I watched my stepdad die. What surfaced wasn't just grief. It was the realization that, for years, I'd been carrying emotions I never learned how to hold. Fear. Heartbreak. Guilt. Love. Loneliness. And like so many of us, I became really good at escaping them instead. In this deeply personal episode, I share what unfolded during that breathwork journey, the unexpected conversation it opened with myself, and the moment I realized alcohol was never the real problem, it was how I had learned to survive emotions that felt too big to stay with. I talk about what it really means to build emotional capacity, how the nervous system stores unresolved experiences, and why healing isn't about becoming someone who never feels pain. It's about becoming someone who no longer has to run from it. If you've ever struggled with grief, emotional overwhelm, anxiety, alcohol, burnout, or feeling disconnected from yourself, I hope this conversation reminds you that you're not broken. You may simply have never been taught how to hold what hurts. In this episode you can expect that we'll talk about: * Grief and unresolved loss * Breathwork and nervous system regulation * Emotional regulation and emotional capacity * The connection between alcohol and emotional avoidance * Somatic healing and listening to the body's wisdom * Self-compassion after loss * Learning to stay with yourself instead of escaping Sometimes the bravest thing we can do isn't move on. Sometimes it's finally staying. Ways to continue the work: 🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice [https://thedeliberateone.com/the-deliberate-practice] — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration. 🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map [https://thedeliberateone.com/personalpowermap]— a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough. Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here [https://buymeacoffee.com/Thedeliberateone]

I Hated Management Training (And Now I Know Why) EP 89

I hated management training. I'd sit in leadership workshops rolling my eyes, convinced the facilitator had no idea what my job actually looked like. Looking back, I realize it wasn't the management training I was resisting. It was chronic stress. In this episode, I'm sharing a story from my years as a senior project manager in commercial construction and how learning about the nervous system completely changed the way I understand leadership, communication, feedback, and workplace stress. I talk about why feedback can feel like criticism, why productivity tips don't always work when you're overwhelmed, and why I believe nervous system regulation should come before leadership training. If you've ever felt defensive during feedback, struggled to retain information, or wondered why personal development just isn't "landing," this episode is for you. I cover: * Chronic stress and the nervous system * Leadership and emotional regulation * Survival mode at work * Why productivity strategies often fail * Expanding your window of tolerance * Building capacity before performance I think this is a conversation every leader, manager, and high-performing professional needs to hear. Ways to continue the work: 🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice [https://thedeliberateone.com/the-deliberate-practice] — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration. 🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map [https://thedeliberateone.com/personalpowermap]— a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough. Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here [https://buymeacoffee.com/Thedeliberateone]

What I Really Think About the Term "Alcoholic" EP 88

Is the term alcoholic still helpful or is it keeping more people stuck than supported? In this episode, I share why I don't identify with the label "alcoholic," how that single word kept me drinking for years, and what we now understand about alcohol through the lens of the nervous system, trauma, and identity. We explore the difference between having a problematic relationship with alcohol and identifying as an alcoholic, whether alcoholism is hereditary, if some people are more vulnerable to using alcohol as a coping strategy, and what it actually takes to create lasting change. If you've ever wondered: *  Am I an alcoholic?  *  Do I have a drinking problem?  *  Is my drinking "bad enough" to quit?  *  Why do I keep using alcohol to cope with stress?  ...this episode is for you. This conversation isn't about shame. It's about honesty, healing, and understanding the relationship you have with alcohol so you can decide what comes next. Ways to continue the work: 🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice [https://thedeliberateone.com/the-deliberate-practice] — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration. 🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map [https://thedeliberateone.com/personalpowermap]— a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough. Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here [https://buymeacoffee.com/Thedeliberateone]

What If Nothing Is Wrong? How to navigate difficult emotions, nervous system overwhelm, and the days that feel off. EP 87

> Have you ever had one of those days where everything is technically 'fine'… but you still feel irritated, flat, emotional, or completely off? > > You slept well. You've eaten. Nothing major has happened. And yet somehow the smallest things feel overwhelming. > > In this episode, I'm exploring what I've been learning about those days. I talk about why our emotions don't always originate where they appear, how unresolved experiences quietly shape our nervous system, and why trying to "fix" yourself can sometimes create even more suffering. > > I also share how I moved through the day using curiosity instead of criticism, why I lowered the incline on my walking pad (and why that became the perfect metaphor for emotional capacity), and what it means to support yourself instead of pushing yourself. > > If you've ever found yourself asking, "What's wrong with me today?" this episode is for you. > > Maybe the better question is:What am I carrying? > > In this episode we explore: > *  Why some emotional days seem to come out of nowhere  > *  How your nervous system stores and responds to stress  > *  The difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression  > *  Why everything feels harder when your emotional bandwidth is low  > *  A gentler way to move through difficult days without judging yourself  > > Because maybe nothing is wrong with you.Maybe your nervous system is simply asking for a little more care. Ways to continue the work: 🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice [https://thedeliberateone.com/the-deliberate-practice] — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration. 🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map [https://thedeliberateone.com/personalpowermap]— a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough. Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here [https://buymeacoffee.com/Thedeliberateone]

What If It Isn't Resistance? Why discipline, procrastination, and follow-through might not be the real problem. EP 86

In this episode, I'm exploring a question that's been rattling around in my head lately: What if the thing you're calling resistance... isn't actually resistance? So many of us assume we have a discipline problem. We tell ourselves we're procrastinating, self-sabotaging, lazy, inconsistent, or lacking motivation. But what if we're trying to solve a physiological problem with a motivational solution? I talk about the connection between stress, nervous system capacity, procrastination, and follow-through, and why getting curious about what you're actually resisting can be far more helpful than trying to force yourself through it. I also explore: *  Why everything feels harder when you're exhausted, stressed, or dysregulated  *  The difference between resistance and lack of capacity  *  What procrastination may actually be trying to tell you  *  Why your physiological needs matter more than most people realize  *  How supporting yourself creates more momentum than criticizing yourself ever will  If you've ever found yourself saying, "I know what I need to do, I just can't get myself to do it," this episode is for you. Because maybe the answer isn't more discipline. Maybe the answer is support. Ways to continue the work: 🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice [https://thedeliberateone.com/the-deliberate-practice] — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration. 🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map [https://thedeliberateone.com/personalpowermap]— a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough. Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone If this episode supported you, you can buy me a coffee here [https://buymeacoffee.com/Thedeliberateone]