What Nobody Tells You About Life After Cancer Surgery | Dar Barrow

What Nobody Tells You About Life After Cancer Surgery | Dar Barrow

Dar Barrow was back on Graft to talk about chapter two: chemotherapy. The surgery was hard. What came after it was something else entirely. This conversation covers the side effects nobody prepares you for - frozen eyes, fizzy hands, the complete collapse of taste - the worst mental health day of his life arriving on an ordinary dog walk, the NHS helpline he used more than once, and what recovery actually looks and feels like when you're 80% of the physical version and 60% of the mental version of who you were before. He's also running 107km around the Isle of Wight for Bowel Cancer UK. His second book is out now. ⏱ CHAPTERS 0:00 Introduction - Dar Barrow returns3:37 Where Dar is now6:07 First day of chemo and the anxiety that arrived the night before7:07 Being hooked up to the matrix10:29 Walking home after treatment — when the side effects kicked in11:41 Like the 90s but without any of the fun12:13 Fizzy hands, frozen eyes and lockjaw13:49 Surgery vs chemotherapy — which is harder14:36 The NHS 24/7 helpline and why he ignored it until he needed it18:47 The ctDNA test: trying to find a medical way out of chemo22:16 The Creamy Curse and never touching pizza again24:03 The worst mental health day — and the front door breakdown29:02 The helpline call that helped, and why he started writing31:29 Never once getting used to it32:49 The scan in October that finally cleared him34:46 Emma and the relationship through the fog35:28 The shocking statistic of men vs women 37:47 Why Dar keeps talking publicly about all of it39:04 The neighbour: "it just gets a little bit less every day"40:55 Recovery: 80% physically, 60% mentally43:31 107km Isle of Wight challenge for Bowel Cancer UK45:55 What the watch says vs what the body felt like a year ago46:17 Book two out now 📚 DAR'S BOOKS Oh Shit I've Got Bowel Cancer - Amazon / Kindle / Apple Books The Fog of Chemotherapy: The April Shits and the Creamy Curse - out now Profits to Bowel Cancer UK 🏃 ISLE OF WIGHT CHALLENGE - 107km for Bowel Cancer UK Link to Fundraising page [https://www.justgiving.com/team/johnbarnesraps?utm_medium=TE&utm_source=CL] ――――――――――――――――――――――――――― 🎙 GRAFT PODCAST New episodes every other week.Instagram: @graft_podcast

"I Just Don't Give Up" - How Do You Build a Tech Startup From Scratch? with Simon Neave

GIVEAWAY TIME... 😴 Comment "SLEEP" below to be in with a chance to win a Leep ring Winner will be announce on Tuesday 16th June at 7pm GMT on our Instagram page - @graft.podcast --- Simon Neave spent 36 years building other people's brands — from Morrisons shelf floors to six-figure salaries in mobile tech, turning distressed products into £60 million exits and fighting to keep a company alive through a pandemic that eventually swallowed it whole. When the company he worked for went into administration in 2024, he was 54, out of a job, and facing a question he'd spent his whole career avoiding: now or never? He chose now. Leep is a sleep and activity tracking ring built to do what no British brand had done — bring serious health wearables to a mainstream price point. This conversation covers the whole arc: the comfort that kept Simon employed for decades, the market gap he spotted while watching his employer slowly die, the brutal reality of fundraising, and what 36 years of building for other people actually teaches you when it's finally yours. If you've ever been comfortable enough to stay but curious enough to wonder what you could build — this one's for you. 🎧 Listen as we discuss… (00:00) From Morrisons to mobile: 36 years building other people's brands(07:12) The "now or never" moment(08:51) Why sleep became the overlooked gap in the healthtech market(12:32) The drunk driving stat — what 17 hours without sleep actually does to you(14:52) The £169 bet: making sleep tech accessible when everyone else charged £400(22:59) "Execution is everything" — why most startups fail before they launch(24:45) Fundraising is a full-time job (and the thing Simon underestimated most)(29:02) The power of not giving up (31:28) The personal cost: savings gone, gym gone, holidays in Whitby with a laptop(36:11) What Simon would tell anyone thinking about starting their own thing(41:59) The Jonny Wilkinson principle — fear of failure as a driver(44:39) Vision and delusion: where Simon wants Leep to be in five years(47:40) Why British wearables could help prevent suicide, anxiety and depression KEY TAKEAWAYS The Comfort Trap — A good salary and a well-run company are the most effective things for killing your own ambition. If you're waiting for the right moment, recognise that comfort is the reason most people never find one. Every line of code is a liability — Simon's rule for building the Leep app: assume everything takes twice as long and costs twice as much, then cut it down to the absolute minimum you can launch with. Don't give up is a double-edged sword — Simon's greatest strength is his refusal to quit. But persistence without self-awareness is just stubbornness. Know which one you're doing at any given moment. Fundraising is a full-time job — The single most underestimated part of building a product business. Simon raised money in between building, selling and running the company — and believes that if he'd treated fundraising as a dedicated full-time focus earlier, the timeline would have been different. Sleep is the metric most people are ignoring — After 17–19 hours without sleep, cognitive performance matches someone over the drink-drive limit. The data is already in your pocket — it's time to start looking at it. Simon Neave — CEO & Founder, Leep (sleep and activity tracking ring)

The Fall, The Heartbreak, The Dad I Couldn't Save - and What I'm Living For Now | Darren Edwards

In 2017, Darren Edwards was three-quarters of the way up a 500ft rock face in North Wales when the ground beneath his feet gave way. A four-foot chunk of limestone collapsed. He fell with it. His best friend Matt - stood 50ft below - threw himself on top of Darren with an 80% chance they'd both go. They didn't. What followed - the hospital, the diagnosis, the losses he hadn't seen coming - is one of the most honest accounts of starting over we've heard on this show. From a 25-metre pool on Christmas Eve to Land's End to John O'Groats by sea. From a hospital bed to 7 marathons on 7 continents in 7 days. And through it all, one question that changed everything. 🎧 Listen as we discuss… (08:24) The Bear Grylls DVD that started everything  (10:03) "My only competition was myself" - finding identity in the mountains  (14:37) World's End: the moment the rock face collapsed  (21:02) Matt: the friend who dove on him with an 80% chance they'd both go  (22:58) The promise on the ledge: "Whatever happens next - don't let me give up"  (31:19) Waking up in intensive care: "Look ahead, not behind"  (38:10) Kate the physio and the four-year question  (39:07) Buying a kayak from a hospital car park (44:15) Missing Paralympic selection (47:06) Land's End to John O'Groats - 1,000km, disabled veterans, everyone wrote them off (56:31) Day one of the 777: Antarctica, -30°C, 60mph winds  (01:03:07) Losing his dad - and why it made him a speaker  (01:09:33) "What do you want to stand for - and why can't you still?" KEY TAKEAWAYS Courage is a commitment, not a feeling. Resilience isn't something you feel - it's a decision you make before you know if you can keep it. The four-year question. When you're at your lowest, don't ask what to do next. Ask who you want to be in four years - then take the first step, however small or absurd it looks. Asking for help is the first move. Not figuring it out alone. Calling someone and saying "I need you to come with me." That's where everything starts. Be the Mohamed. We don't succeed alone. Sometimes the person who gets you through the hardest part isn't even supposed to be there. GUEST  Darren Edwards - World record-breaking adaptive adventurer, keynote speaker, author, and founder of a charity supporting newly injured people through adventure.

"I Didn't Know I Had a Problem": The Gambling Addiction Nobody Can See with Matt Cowell

Matt Cowell's relationship with gambling began with a Simpsons fruit machine in a hotel games room in Newquay, aged ten or eleven. He'd saved up fifty pounds from his paper round. By the end of the holiday, he had £2.56 left - and already knew he needed to hide it. What followed was twenty-five years. By eighteen he was thousands in debt through Fixed Odds Betting Terminals. By twenty-five, bankrupt with £68,000 of unsecured debt - every penny from gambling, nothing to show for it. He was suspended from his bank job for cycling money between accounts to fund his habit, and spent the weeks afterwards putting on his suit every morning, driving to the high street to gamble, so his family wouldn't know. But this episode isn't just Matt's story. Ben comes into it too - discovering mid-conversation that he'd staked nearly £21,000 on betting apps in twelve months. Technically up £900. No idea. That moment is the heart of why this conversation matters: gambling has become so frictionless, so invisible, that most people don't know where "casual" ends and "problem" begins - and the 16–24 generation are being targeted harder than anyone. 🎧 Listen as we discuss… (01:15) The Simpsons machine: where it started - and the shame that came with it  (07:18) FOBTs, debt at eighteen, and the logic that kept him going back  (14:37) "Just to play, just to play" - the core loop of addiction  (15:02) Bankrupt at 25: £68,000 with nothing to show  (17:24) The suit he wore every day to nowhere  (20:31) Ben's reveal: £21,000 staked in twelve months without knowing  (23:23) The invisible addiction: why no one sees it coming  (24:36) More betting shops in the UK than Tesco, Sainsbury's and Morrisons combined  (26:41) "One in every group is hiding it": the crisis targeting teenagers  (35:44) No clocks in casinos - the psychology of keeping you in  (39:35) Day one of 508: the panic attacks that finally broke the cycle  (42:13) Addicted to Growth: starting a recovery platform from a Tesco car park  (47:49) The "crack in the dam": how to help someone who won't admit they have a problem KEY TAKEAWAYS The Invisible Addiction: No smell, no visible change - you can do it from anywhere, at any time. That invisibility is precisely what makes it escalate, and why the people closest to a problem gambler are often the last to find out. Abstinence is not recovery: Matt spent almost four years not gambling and still relapsed. The shift came when he accepted - out loud, to everyone - that he is a compulsive gambler and life becomes unmanageable when he plays. That acceptance ends the wrestling. The crack in the dam: Accusations close the door. Matt's advice for anyone worried about a loved one: find a softer entry point, share content, ask a question. People accept help more readily when they feel like it was their decision to ask for it. GUEST  Matt Cowell - Recovering compulsive gambler and founder of Addicted to Growth (@addictedtogrowth).

"Screw You, Watch This": Taking Your Power Back From A Toxic Divorce with Sara Davison

Sara Davison is a five-time best-selling author and the UK’s leading divorce coach, but her expertise wasn’t born in a classroom - it was forged on her bathroom floor. Overnight, Sara’s life as she knew it was annihilated. She discovered her husband - her business partner and the father of her one-year-old son - was not only leaving her but was "madly in love" with a woman 12 years younger who was already pregnant. The trauma was compounded when the new couple moved into the same apartment development, forcing Sara to watch her "soulmate" move on in front of her eyes every day. In this raw and deeply practical conversation, Sara sits down with Ben to share the "Balmoral Beach" moment that changed everything. They discuss the physical pain of heartbreak, the "Functionally Friendly" toolkit for navigating toxic exes, and why divorce - if handled with conscious parenting - can actually be a valuable life lesson for children. This is an operating manual for anyone who has ever felt powerless and decided to say: "screw you, watch this." 🎧 Listen as we discuss… (01:55) How a personal betrayal created "The Divorce Coach" (02:49) The "Ugly Cry": Dealing with a life that changes in 24 hours (04:33) The "Elephant in the Room": Why friends don't know what to say (05:36) The Cockatoo Moment: Choosing to no longer be defined by pain (06:56) Using yourself as a "guinea pig" to build a recovery toolkit (09:15) Conscious Coping: Why we aren't taught resilience in school (12:50) The Fear of Never Being Loved Again: Addressing the #1 human need (14:14) The Loneliness Trap: Why being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship (16:15) Learning to trust yourself instead of searching for someone to trust (21:00) The "Waitress Test": Identifying red flags on a second date (31:35) Why high-performing men prefer coaching over traditional therapy (32:49) Controversial Parenting: Turning divorce into a toolkit for your children (46:25) Post-Separation Abuse: Navigating the "Casino" of the family court system (51:52) The "Functionally Friendly" Tool: How to attend events with a toxic ex KEY TAKEAWAYS "Functionally Friendly." You don't have to be a saint, but you must be a role model. Use visualization to "run the movie" of a successful interaction with an ex before you step into the room. Trust Yourself, Not Them. Recovery isn't about learning to trust other people again; it’s about rebuilding the internal trust that you can make better decisions for your own future. Loneliness is Relative. You will always feel lonelier being rejected by a partner in the same house than you will ever feel alone on your sofa. Intimacy is a human need, but a toxic connection is a debt you can't afford. The "Screw You" Leverage. Use the anger and the pain as fuel. When you hit the bottom, the most powerful decision you can make is to refuse to stay a victim and instead say, "Watch this." GUEST Sara Davison - Globally acclaimed Divorce Coach, best-selling author of Uncoupling and Screw You, Watch This, and founder of the International Divorce Coach Centre of Excellence.