Christmas Came Early

Great, I'm Banned From Tinder

I don't know whether its because I kept saying "I can't figure out how to send a dick pic on this thing." or if it was because I was saying "You're cute what's your credit card number?" but I'm banned from Tinder. Mail is pointless. Let me show you the awful hip hop songs that my friends and I record together. New years is coming up and last year I got my jacket stolen but thankfully I still have my gay pink sunglasses. Anyway, I've been playing Call of Duty Warzone instead of Splitgate, I'll tell you all about it. Is there a practicality to a positive mindset? Listen and find out.

Christmas Came Early

Today is the day after Thanksgiving and I wanted to tell you about the best song ever and what it took to create it. It's called "Splinters" and because I have memories of things that always make me laugh no matter what, I wanted to share that with you as well. Also, there's something fascinating about turtles and it traumatizes people. I bet you didn't know this.

Elon Musk Introduces New Single "Penis 4 Ur Thotz"

Can't believe I got Elon Musk on the show to introduce my new single "Penis 4 Ur Thotz". This was five hundred dollars well spent. Let's talk about my friends intervention and how we made it a success. Also, we pay money for Louis C.K. now and here's why. I should have prefaced a lot of this conversation with "I'm a little bit sleepy" because it gets a bit weird and it seemed to have worked well for Ye.

Enter Mr. Sandman

Let's talk about acid flashbacks, the Munch and Go Lickity Split, and No Nut Tyler from the Kratom bar. This conversation feels one sided and that's probably because this is a podcast where I talk about metalcore music and people named Jeff when all you do is just sit and listen to it. That's okay. Also, James Dean is an Asian woman now and I got to meet her at The Blue Beat in Newport Beach, CA. One more thing, this karaoke technique is going to make you a BOSS BITCH.

Don't Shake Hands at a Cuck Three-way

My friend Dan was propositioned to attend a cuck three-way and I wanted to inform you about the apparent proper etiquette. Also wanted to talk about some people that lost their minds and what my time served in jail was like. I served time for being a good friend and it was an excruciating 15 hours of incarceration.