The Stories in Your Head Are Running Your Leadership (Here's How to Rewrite Them)

The Stories in Your Head Are Running Your Leadership (Here's How to Rewrite Them)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289053/fan_mail/new] Have you ever convinced yourself you were in trouble because a meeting got canceled? Assumed a teammate didn't care because they went quiet? Or created an entire worst-case scenario from one small piece of information? You're not alone. In this final episode of our Stories We Tell Ourselves series, Dr. Katie Ervin and Rhonda Jolyean explore how the narratives we create can quietly influence our confidence, communication, relationships, and leadership effectiveness. We unpack why our brains are wired to focus on threats, how negativity bias fuels assumptions, and why comparison can damage confidence through what psychologists call the spotlight effect. From entrepreneurship and fear of failure to navigating major life transitions, we share personal experiences and practical strategies for challenging the stories that no longer serve us. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why your brain fills in missing information with assumptions • How negativity bias and comparison distort reality • Questions that help separate facts from stories • Simple language shifts that move you from certainty to curiosity • Leadership communication practices that reduce anxiety and build trust • How psychological safety helps employees feel valued, heard, and supported If you've ever found yourself overthinking, assuming the worst, or letting self-doubt influence your decisions, this conversation will give you practical tools to rewrite the narrative. Ask yourself: What do I know to be true? What information am I missing? Am I reacting to facts or assumptions? Have I had the conversation? Because the stories you tell yourself shape the leader, colleague, partner, and person you become. Subscribe, share this episode with a leader in your life, and leave a review with the story you're working to rewrite. Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/ www.jolyean.com www.katieervin.com Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge Order Dr. Katie's books:  * 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz * You Might Be an Asshole: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=O4ZMvNNamwFzFFUAjJB1s6pjudAiHrUlcUX0iMUlzI6 Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders   Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/ [https://emmajo.rocks/]

What If Your Leadership Certainty Is Wrong

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289053/fan_mail/new] You can’t lead well if you’re constantly guessing what people “meant”. We dig into the assumption trap that shows up in everyday leadership moments and turns normal human behaviour into labels like disengaged, difficult, lazy, or resistant. When we let those stories run the show, we don’t just misread one person, we start building a culture based on suspicion instead of clarity. We walk through real workplace scenarios leaders wrestle with all the time: someone is late, someone misses a deadline, someone goes quiet in meetings, or someone pushes back on change. Instead of defaulting to motive, we talk about what might actually be happening: unclear norms, mismatched expectations, caregiving demands, stress, fear, low confidence, or a lack of psychological safety. We also unpack how “common sense” differs across jobs and backgrounds, and why the loudest voice in the room isn’t always the best idea, especially when introverts and internal processors need space to think. We also connect the dots to burnout and performance. When priorities are unclear and everything is urgent, people’s brains narrow under stress and creativity drops, making innovation an impossible ask. Our big takeaway is simple and hard: curiosity is a leadership skill you can build, and the questions you choose become the employee experience. If you’re ready to lead with more clarity and less mind reading, listen now, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave an honest review. Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/ www.jolyean.com www.katieervin.com Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge Order Dr. Katie's books:  * 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz * You Might Be an Asshole: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=O4ZMvNNamwFzFFUAjJB1s6pjudAiHrUlcUX0iMUlzI6 Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders   Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/ [https://emmajo.rocks/]

Stop Believing Every Thought

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289053/fan_mail/new] A single vague email can hijack your whole week, and your brain will swear it’s “just being realistic.” We sit down on a Friday afternoon and get honest about the stories we tell ourselves, where they come from, and why they feel so convincing, especially when we’re leading teams, presenting in high-stakes rooms, or simply trying to get through a busy day. We talk about the subtle ways we reject compliments, deflect praise, and act like we have to earn every kind word. Then we zoom out to the psychology behind it: negativity bias, pattern matching, and the brain’s obsession with predictability. The result is familiar to a lot of leaders: we remember the one negative comment on a survey, fixate on the hardest employee, and miss the 497 things that went well. We also unpack confirmation bias and the “mind movie” effect, where we start searching for evidence that someone is judging us even when we don’t know what’s actually going on in their life. You’ll leave with practical tools you can use immediately: journaling or saving positive feedback, using your Notes app or voice memos, even texting yourself so you can build a real record of wins to reread on hard days. We also share reflection questions that help separate fact from story, and why professional support like counselling can be a powerful part of rewriting old narratives. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s stuck in their head, and leave a review so more leaders can find us. Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/ www.jolyean.com www.katieervin.com Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge Order Dr. Katie's books:  * 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz * You Might Be an Asshole: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=O4ZMvNNamwFzFFUAjJB1s6pjudAiHrUlcUX0iMUlzI6 Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders   Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/ [https://emmajo.rocks/]

Stop Believing The Story In Your Head

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289053/fan_mail/new] Your brain is a world-class storyteller, and under stress it becomes a sloppy fact-checker. We’re laying the foundation for our new series on the stories we tell ourselves, the assumptions we default to, and the quiet way those internal narratives shape leadership decisions, workplace relationships, and even our creativity. We talk through moments almost everyone recognizes: rereading an email to guess tone, assuming someone’s silence means disapproval, or building a worst-case scenario before a hard conversation even happens. Using Brené Brown’s “the story I’m making up is” framework, we unpack why the brain fills gaps for certainty and safety, how negativity bias ramps up in survival mode, and why curiosity can vanish when fear takes over. We also share personal examples of how family patterns, early mentors, and old labels can echo into adult work life, sometimes pushing us to overprotect, overreact, or shrink ourselves. From a practical leadership coaching lens, we offer simple tools you can use immediately: pause before reacting, name what you know versus what you’re assuming, ask what else could be true, and check whether you’re reacting to facts or fear. We also connect this to inclusive leadership and psychological safety, reminding ourselves that different processing styles, neurodiversity needs, and life stressors can change how people show up at work. If you want better communication, fewer avoidable conflicts, and a steadier leadership presence, this conversation gives you a clear starting point. Subscribe, share the show with someone who overthinks like we do, and leave a review so more leaders can find the series. What’s the most common story you catch yourself repeating? Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/ www.jolyean.com www.katieervin.com Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge Order Dr. Katie's books:  * 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz * You Might Be an Asshole: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=O4ZMvNNamwFzFFUAjJB1s6pjudAiHrUlcUX0iMUlzI6 Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders   Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/ [https://emmajo.rocks/]

What If Doubt Is Proof You Are Growing

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2289053/fan_mail/new] Imposter syndrome has a sneaky way of showing up right when you are doing the work that matters most: presenting in a big meeting, taking a new role, leading a team through change, or simply being seen. We talk honestly about why that doubt does not automatically mean you are unqualified. Sometimes it is the signal that you are stretching, learning, and building a growth mindset. The goal is not to eliminate imposter syndrome forever, but to manage the negativity bias so it does not run your decisions or shrink your voice. We break down practical leadership tools you can use immediately: building a real support system and advisory group, “borrowing confidence” when you need it, and keeping an evidence list of wins and hard things you have already survived. We also challenge comparison, especially the trap of measuring your beginning against someone else’s polished middle, and we explain why asking questions is a strength that creates psychological safety. If you have ever felt pressure to perform rather than serve, we offer a cleaner focus: impact over image. Then we go deeper into nervous system regulation, because overwhelmed humans do not lead well. We share approachable ways to reset through creativity practices, journaling and reflection, aesthetic engagement, and making room for fun and pleasure without guilt. From there, we zoom out to the team level: how insecurity can look like disengagement, why belonging drives contribution, and how a feedback culture built on coaching helps confidence grow. If this helps you, subscribe, share it with a colleague who is stretching into something new, and leave a rating and review so more leaders can find the show. What triggers your imposter syndrome most right now? Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/ www.jolyean.com www.katieervin.com Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge Order Dr. Katie's books:  * 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz * You Might Be an Asshole: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=O4ZMvNNamwFzFFUAjJB1s6pjudAiHrUlcUX0iMUlzI6 Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders   Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/ [https://emmajo.rocks/]