S1E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky

S1E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky

S1 E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky - Steve and Becky’s story is raw, funny, painful, and almost unbelievable—except it is true and documented. Their book, DNA Did Not Anticipate, takes readers even deeper into the twists, losses, discoveries, and moments of healing that followed Steve’s DNA surprise. It is part memoir, part mystery, and part roadmap for anyone trying to make sense of a truth they never saw coming. Steve thought he was taking a DNA test to explore the Native American ancestry he had always been told was part of his story. Instead, his results revealed a first cousin in Prince Edward Island, Canada, a match that made no sense with his Kentucky-based family history. What followed was a life-is-stranger-than-fiction unraveling. With the help of his wife Becky, a part-time genealogist, Steve began uncovering hidden family secrets, a father he never knew, and pieces of his mother’s past that completely changed how he understood his own story. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara, Steve, and Becky discuss: * Taking a DNA test to search for Native American ancestry * Discovering people who did not fit in your known family tree * The moment we realize we’re not who we thought we were * How a spouse’s support can be key in processing a DNA surprise * Seeing himself reflected in a picture of your father for the first time * The shock, grief, anger, shame, and eventual peace from an NPE * How DNA surprises ripple through spouses, children, siblings, and extended family * Rewriting how you look at family * Writing their book, DNA Did Not Anticipate This episode is about family, marriage, loss, humor, identity, and the kind of truth that leaves people saying, “You can’t make this stuff up.” Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E35 Unraveling Michelle S

S1 E 35 Unraveling Micelle S - Michelle’s story is layered, funny, honest, and full of hard-earned wisdom. She shows us that adoption is not a single event, but something that shapes a person across a lifetime—in identity, relationships, parenting, advocacy, and healing. Michelle grew up knowing she was adopted, and by many measures, she had what people often call a “good adoption.” She was loved, cared for, and raised by parents who told her the truth from the beginning. But as Michelle’s story reminds us, even a good adoption does not erase the trauma of separation, the ache of missing genetic mirrors, or the lifelong work of figuring out where you belong. A Baby Scoop Era adoptee, Michelle was five days old when she was brought home by her raising parents. Adoption was known in her family, but not always easy to talk about. Beneath the surface, Michelle carried a deep fear of hurting or disappointing the parents who raised her, especially her mother, whose own unresolved grief shaped much of Michelle’s experience. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Michelle discuss: * Growing up adopted while sensing there were still emotional limits around the topic * What it means to have a “good adoption” and still be deeply affected by adoption * Feeling othered in childhood, even in small everyday moments * The pressure to protect a raising parent’s feelings * Meeting her husband, who was also adopted, and building a family together * The experience of genetic mirroring when their first child was born * Holding relationships with genetic family while managing fear, obligation, and guilt * Advocating for adoptee rights and helping change law around original birth certificates * Child welfare reform, Safe Haven baby boxes, and the need for child-centered policy This episode is about reunion, boundaries, genetic identity, and the courage it takes to stop carrying emotions that were never yours to manage. It is also a reminder that love and loss can exist in the same story, and that truth becomes easier to hold when we finally make room for all of it. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E34 Unraveling Jennie

S1 E34 Unraveling Jennie - Jennie’s story is about more than a DNA test. It is about secrecy, loyalty, medical truth, sibling connection, and the complicated grief of realizing that the people who loved you also kept something essential from you. Jennie took a DNA test because she wanted to know more about her father’s side of the family. Her dad had died of cancer when she was 23, and with her mother’s genealogy already carefully documented, Jennie hoped 23andMe would help fill in the missing pieces. But when her results came back, Jennie found multiple half-siblings she did not recognize. What began as curiosity quickly became a life-changing discovery. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Jennie discuss: * Taking a DNA test for ancestry and discovering unexpected half-siblings * Her mother’s warning not to test and the missed chance to tell the truth first * Re-examining childhood memories, family photos, and old questions through a new lens * The grief of realizing her dad chose to be her father, but never got to share that truth openly * The medical consequences of being given incorrect family health history * Reaching out to a donor who refuses contact * Building relationships with donor-conceived siblings and finding genetic mirroring later in life * Talking openly with her own children so secrecy stops with this generation Jennie's story reminds us that there is nothing shameful about donor conception. The harm comes from silence. And sometimes healing begins when one generation finally decides: the secret stops here. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E33 Unraveling Joesph & Charity

S1E33 Unraveling Joseph & Charity - Charity spent most of her life believing a painful story about her origins. Raised by her maternal grandparents after the death of her mother, she endured a childhood marked by abuse, silence, and the belief that searching for her father would only uncover more pain. For years, she was told she was conceived through violence and taught not to ask questions. After becoming a mother herself, Charity decided she no longer wanted fear, secrecy, and generational trauma passed down to her own children. A DNA test—and the courage to finally open the results—led her to Joseph. What followed was not the story she had been told. SHOW NOTES In this deeply emotional and hopeful conversation, Kara, Charity, and Joseph discuss: * Growing up under the weight of family secrecy and emotional manipulation * The impact of childhood abuse, silence, and being taught not to search * Using DNA testing, genealogy groups, and DNAngels to uncover the truth * Joseph learning decades later that he had a daughter * Navigating reunion while honoring existing family relationships * The importance of grace, patience, and moving slowly through reunion * Genetic mirroring, shared traits, and finally seeing yourself reflected in someone else * Breaking cycles of silence and trauma for the next generation Charity and Joseph’s story is about far more than finding family. It is about reclaiming truth after years of fear, learning to trust connection after surviving harm, and choosing healing over bitterness. Their reunion is honest, imperfect, hopeful, and deeply human. Together, they remind us that family stories are often more complicated than we are told and that sometimes the truth waiting on the other side is far gentler than the fear that kept us from searching. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E32 Unraveling Melody

S1 E32 Melody: Melody took a DNA test for one reason: to search for the younger brother she had not seen since childhood who’d been relinquished to adoption. Instead, her results revealed a truth she never expected. Raised African American, Melody opened her DNA results and found close white relatives, no close matches on her mother’s side, and an ethnicity estimate that made no sense with the family story she had always known. What began as a search for her brother became a search for herself. SHOW NOTES In this thoughtful and layered conversation, Kara and Melody discuss: * Losing her birth certificate father as a child and being raised by a beloved great-aunt * Discovering close white DNA matches and realizing her father was not her genetic father * Building mirror trees and doing months of genetic genealogy research * Finding her genetic father and connecting with several half-siblings * The complexity of being raised Black and learning her genetic father was white * Navigating race, belonging, politics, and acceptance within a new family * Seeking medical history and answers without wanting anything material * The ache of never fully knowing how her parents’ relationship began Melody’s story is about more than a DNA surprise. It is about race, identity, family stories, and the complicated work of integrating a truth that changes how you understand your past. Her journey reminds us that knowing where we come from matters not because DNA tells the whole story, but because missing pieces shape how we see ourselves, our families, and our place in the world. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.