34 o - The Intimacy Podcast

53. Sexy after 50: Why Desire Goes Offline

What if the problem isn’t your desire… but your nervous system? In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik sits down with therapist Julie Merriman, host of Sexy After 50, to explore the deeper connection between stress, safety, embodiment and desire. For many women, especially in midlife, loss of desire is often blamed on hormones, age or biology. What if the body isn’t broken? What if it’s protecting itself? This is a conversation about: • Why desire often shuts down under chronic stress • How shame and pressure disconnect people from their bodies • The nervous system’s role in intimacy and pleasure • Why numbness is often protection, not dysfunction • What happens to relationships when desire goes offline • And what it actually takes to feel alive again Julie shares insights from nearly 30 years of therapeutic work helping women reconnect with themselves, not through performance or pressure, but through safety, regulation and embodiment. Because maybe desire doesn’t disappear randomly. Maybe it responds to the environment we live in… and the body we’ve learned to survive in. 34o – The Intimacy Podcast Redefining love, trust & how we connect

52. From You, Outward: The Hidden Connection Between Self, Love & Society

What if the struggles you experience in yourself, in your relationships… and even in society… are not separate problems at all? In this episode of 34o, we break something down that is often made overly complex, in a simple, grounded way. No deep philosophy. No complex psychology. Just a clear look at how everything connects: * How your relationship with yourself shapes how you show up in love * Why relationships don’t fix you, they reveal you * How your emotional state affects the people around you * How all of this scales into something bigger: the nervous system of modern society Because society isn’t something “out there”. It’s built on individuals. On relationships. On connection. It all starts… with you. If something in this episode resonates, share it with someone who might need to hear it. 34o The Intimacy Podcast Exploring intimacy, relationships, and what makes us human. Stay honest. Stay present. Stay human.

51. What the Screen Never Teaches: A Script Without a Story

This is not an anti-porn episode. It’s about timing. About what happens when sexuality enters the human system before the human system is ready to hold it. A moment in southern Stockholm. Five boys, around eleven years old. A ping pong table. What was seen that morning stayed. Because those boys weren’t being bad. They were imitating. A script without a story. Porn is not new. But unlimited, algorithm-driven exposure reaching children before emotional maturity, that is new. This episode is not about shame or judgment. It’s about context, guidance and the conversation we keep avoiding. Because children don’t need silence. They need understanding. The opposite of shame is not freedom. It’s understanding. Curiosity isn’t the problem. Exposure without guidance is.

50. Stef: Permission to exist

What does it cost a person to spend decades not being allowed to exist as themselves? In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik sits down with Stef, host of Together Moving Forward, to explore what it means to live in constant vigilance — and what it takes to come back from it. From an early age, Stef learned to adapt. To monitor his posture, his voice, his presence. Not as a choice. But as survival. Growing up outside what was considered “normal”, he faced daily bullying, isolation, and years of hiding. Over time, that vigilance moved from the mind into the body — shaping his health, his identity and his relationship to himself. This is a conversation about: • The cost of growing up feeling different • How shame and chronic stress live in the body • Self-harm, EMDR and the long road back to safety • The difference between confidence and permission • What happens to intimacy when we stop editing ourselves Today, Stef is back on the ice in his late fifties — not to perform, but to inhabit himself. His story is queer in context. But what he describes is deeply human. Because at the core of it all lies a simple shift: From performing who you are… to allowing yourself to exist. Redefining love, trust & how we connect

49. The Desire–Intimacy Paradox: Why Love Doesn’t Always Sustain Desire

In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik speaks with sexologist and researcher Detta Prada about one of the most fascinating and misunderstood aspects of human relationships: sexual desire. While much research on sexuality focuses on dysfunction and problems, Detta’s work explores something different, what actually sustains desire and pleasure over time. Together they discuss the desire–intimacy paradox: the tension between the safety and closeness that relationships need, and the novelty and autonomy that erotic desire thrives on. The conversation also explores: • Why valuing sex for your own well-being predicts higher desire • The importance of sexual autonomy and body knowledge • Why communication about sex may be the strongest predictor of pleasure • How gender equality affects sexual desire and satisfaction • The role of cultural norms in shaping our sexuality • What it means to be authentic in your sexuality At its core, this episode asks a deeper question: What if desire is not only about sex, but about vitality, autonomy and living authentically? Detta Prada writes about sexuality and sexual well-being on her blog: sexologikse.wordpress.com If this episode resonates with you, follow the podcast on Spotify so more people can find these conversations. Exploring love, desire and the psychology of intimacy.