ADHD or life? - A couples perspective!

Is it ADHD or Life? Maddy Alexander-Grout – ADHD Visibility, Debt, Masking, Trolls & Finding Your Voice

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re joined by special guest Maddy Alexander-Grout — ADHD visibility coach, best-selling author, and creator of the Maddyverse. We get straight into Maddy’s ADHD journey, because for years she genuinely thought she was broken. We talk the stuff people don’t always say out loud: struggling through life, spending addiction, debt, and the shame spiral that can come with it. We get into ADHD and money, how quickly things can snowball, and the weird (but effective) ways you end up coping — including gamifying debt, tinned tomato on toast, and sneaking drinks into pubs. Trigger warning: we also talk about post-partum psychosis. Maddy shares how horrendous it was, and we discuss how it can be more common for ADHDers, plus spiralling, PMDD, and the pressure-cooker of new babies and no support. We chat impulsive business decisions and trying to save money. Then we get into the bigger picture: ADHD being seen as a “naughty little boys” condition, and what it’s like learning about adult ADHD and suddenly having that “oh… that’s me” moment. We talk imposter syndrome, internalised ableism, Right to Choose, and realising autism might be part of the picture too. Maddy’s book is a big part of this episode (because it’s genuinely helpful and written for real humans): 📚   Mad About Money: Managing Finances (and Life) with ADHD   https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1394299729/ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_BXVWCNXTXWDR91N88CZ4 We also talk about Maddy becoming a visibility coach and what that actually means — helping people show up, live according to their values, and stop hiding their “hidden disabilities” like they’re something to be ashamed of. We get into the Maddyverse too — a free safe place for people to talk about hidden disabilities and feel less alone:   https://maddyverse.co.uk/ There’s loads in this one about the ADHD stuff that gets overlooked, misconceptions, and the fight to raise awareness. Maddy’s been on the BBC arguing with doctors, and we talk about the negativity in the press and public: - Does everyone with ADHD have blue hair? (apparently yes, according to the internet) - Are ADHDers “benefit scroungers”? - Can good girls at school have ADHD? - Masking, overcompensating, and becoming a “naughty adult” Then we meet Maddy the troll slayer 🗡️ because she’s had years of learning to deal with trolls head-on — from being branded a “sickfluencer” to handling constant nasty comments. Adam, naturally, chooses to hide behind the couch. We also talk blue badges, relationships and ADHD (past relationships, limerence, communication, people pleasing, and finding your person), plus the serious stuff like domestic abuse and why open conversations matter. We chat neurodivergent kids too — how smart they are, how often they’re dismissed, and different ways of learning (including audiobooks — and yes, Maddy’s book is coming to audiobook soon 🎧). We finish with Maddy’s Good, Bad & Ugly — hyperfocus, showing up, communication, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/-D4Xt5Ol_KY Find Maddy online: www.maddyalexandergrout.com   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maddytalksmoney/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@madaboutmoneyofficial   Maddy’s book (again, because yes we mentioned it and yes it’s worth it): 📚   https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1394299729/ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_BXVWCNXTXWDR91N88CZ4 Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   Follow us: Instagram: @adhdorlifepod   TikTok: @adhdorlifepod   YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod   #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDPodcast #ADHDWomen #LateDiagnosis #ADHDAndAutism #AuDHD #RightToChoose #ADHDAwareness #ADHDVisibility #Masking #ImposterSyndrome #InternalisedAbleism #RSD #RejectionSensitivityDysphoria #ADHDRelationships #Limerence #PeoplePleasing #HiddenDisability #BlueBadge #ADHDAndMoney #Debt #SpendingAddiction #FinancialWellbeing #PMDD #PostpartumPsychosis #MentalHealth Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or Life? – ADHD Medication Update: Titration, Mood Swings, Sleep Issues & What’s Changed

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, it’s another Medication Special… and we start with Donna’s big news: she’s left her job. Adam’s main takeaway? The chocolate she got. So yes, we do ask the important question… is it all about Adam? We’ve had a proper rollercoaster couple of weeks, and Adam’s also decided he’s now a gardener — which obviously means he’s starting a business. Also… is Donna just very easily impressed? We discuss. Then we get into medication, with a big warning up front: this episode is based on our personal experience only, and we are not medically trained. We talk about how Adam completely ruined Eurovision with a bad mood (turns out he forgot his medication). Was old Adam back? We get into mood swings, outbursts, and what it’s like when the meds aren’t doing what you expect — or when you’re not taking them at all. We answer listener questions and talk titration: what’s changed, what hasn’t, and what the last few weeks have really been like now the initial buzz has worn off. We talk about novelty, timing, and why chasing a “buzz” isn’t the goal. We cover surprises from taking medication, whether things feel less overwhelming, and how stress and single-mindedness show up now. We also talk people pleasing, relationship changes, and whether Donna’s noticed things Adam hasn’t. We get honest about arguments, conflict, moods, and the balance between relying on medication versus taking a more holistic approach. Sleep comes up (again), because sleep affects everything — including how medication feels. We talk about what’s become harder since starting meds, whether burnout is looming, and the titration process so far… including the bit we’re not looking forward to: getting it moved over to the GP. We also share what ADHD traits are still very much present, what medication has genuinely helped with, and the difference it’s making in family life. There’s a sense of pressure lifting, and things not needing to be perfect all the time. And because it wouldn’t be us… Adam has a new mission in life and it involves karaoke. 5 minute moans this week: * Should Donna stop eating cheese in Adam’s van? Is his life stinking? * Adam is still leaving rubbish everywhere We end a bit differently this week with Donna’s Good, Bad & Ugly about medication — expectations, being more present, and feeling like she’s got more of Adam back. Should the next episode be Ask Donna Anything? Send your questions to ADHDorlife@gmail.com [ADHDorlife@gmail.com]. This week we cover: * Medication update and titration questions from listeners * What’s changed vs what hasn’t (now the initial buzz has worn off) * Mood swings, outbursts, and what happens when you forget meds * Relationship changes, people pleasing, and conflict * Sleep issues and how sleep impacts medication * Holistic approach vs over-depending on medication * Burnout worries and what’s become harder * Family life, pressure lifting, and letting go of perfection * Donna’s Good, Bad & Ugly on medication expectations Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/KsNIUMrEpow [https://youtu.be/KsNIUMrEpow] Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS [https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS] More on our website: https://www.adhdorlife.com [https://www.adhdorlife.com/] Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered [https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered] Follow us: Instagram: @adhdorlifepod TikTok: @adhdorlifepod YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDMedication #Titration #Elvanse #Amfexa #RightToChoose #NHS #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #ExecutiveDysfunction #SleepAndADHD #ADHDFamilyLife #ADHDCommunity #GoodBadUgly #FiveMinuteMoans  Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or are we passing ships? - Relationship special!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, it’s a full Relationship Special… and it’s an Adam takeover. Is he prepared? Absolutely not. Is he confident? Of course he is. We’re talking about relationships when it feels like you’re living in two separate timelines - like you’re just passing ships. And before anyone panics: we are absolutely fine. The schedule is the villain. Donna’s got a new job, our routines are shifting again, and it’s got us thinking about how different “normal jobs” and shift patterns are compared to our slightly chaotic self-employed/podcast life. Our only day off together is a Monday… so naturally we started a podcast. We talk about the last time Donna went back to work and Adam had a full breakdown, and how hard that period was on the relationship. We ask the scary question: are we becoming a handover couple? The kind where you only talk routines, chores, and who’s doing what next. We get into the everyday stuff that quietly chips away: - Do adults actually need adult time? - Does Adam unload too much in the 10 minutes they get together at night? - Are we scared of only becoming a “handover” relationship? Then Donna does her quick-fire 5 questions and puts herself on the spot: - What’s going to be difficult? - Does Donna get moany too? - How important is sleep? - What are the early warning signs? - How would Donna like it to be different? We talk about scheduling 10 minutes together (maybe with lists??), then we go deep (leave it). What does Donna actually need from Adam? Has he stopped trying? Adam makes a confession. We talk independence, what needs protecting in the relationship, and how days off can either save you… or turn into admin days with a side of resentment. And then we bring it back to ADHD: - Time blindness and task switching (Work Adam to Family Adam) - Is Donna the sounding board for everything? - Working memory and emotional load - Is self-employment lonely? - RSD with quietness, emotional regulation, and tiredness We also talk strategies Donna loves (Adam… not so much): - A weekly meeting - Micro connection rule (sick) - Parallel play - Is scrolling actually ok? We end by saying we’ve got a great relationship, but it can still be hard - and then Donna makes Adam a little bit sick (you’ll see). Then it’s time for the catchy segment: What Adam’s learned this week about ADHD on Facebook. We recap last week’s lessons, Adam decides he “doesn’t have it” (is he bi-ADHD?), and this week we learn about: - Toothbrushing habits - Sleeping with your feet out 5 minute moans this week: - Adam’s wedding ring (does he need a new one?) - Why Donna doesn’t support Adam when he has business ideas at 2am We finish with your good, bad and uglies and listener feedback — keep them coming. This one’s all about relationships, routines, and trying to stay connected when life is doing the most. Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/-gn3HbwYUro   Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   Follow us:   Instagram: @adhdorlifepod   TikTok: @adhdorlifepod   YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod   #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #CouplesPodcast #Marriage #RelationshipAdvice #TimeBlindness #TaskSwitching #RSD #EmotionalRegulation #WorkingMemory #MentalLoad #ShiftWork #SelfEmployedLife #Connection #ParallelPlay #MicroConnections #Communication #GoodBadUgly #FiveMinuteMoans Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD… or do I just find it hard to relax? - A couple's perspective!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re asking a big one: Is it ADHD… or do I just find it hard to relax? We do a quick catch-up on the last couple of weeks: medication updates, impulse buys, business decisions, and the ongoing question of whether Adam’s office is actually ready. Donna’s also got a new job… and we have to ask the obvious: is Adam jealous? Then we get into the main topic: relaxing (or the complete inability to do it). We talk about how neurodivergent people can feel restless, guilty, mentally noisy, and unable to switch off, while the neurotypical partner can end up feeling disconnected, rejected, and like calm is basically impossible in the relationship.  Is Adam dopamine hunting? Is Donna an enabler? What does relaxing even look like for Adam? What’s the difference between relaxing and escaping? We get into: - TV time at night: rest or just collapse? - Scrolling: relaxing or escaping? - Sitting down but still feeling internally stressed - Turning hobbies into productivity (because of course) - Is darts relaxing? - Is everyone’s idea of relaxing totally different? - Guilt spirals and whether there’s such a thing as a real day off - Holidays: relaxing or just stressful in a different location? - Can you relax as a business owner, or does it feel like you’re letting people down? - Is it ADHD, anxiety, modern life… or all three? We also talk technology, the constant running mind, awkward silences. Can you sleep in silence? Can you sit in silence as a couple without it feeling weird? Then we hit a hilarious (and genuinely embarrassing) discovery: Adam’s new habit. Has he been doing it all along? Cue blushing and stimming chat. We also talk replaying conversations (like, primary school level replays), including Adam replaying things from Donna’s past that he wasn’t even there for. Donna shares her side too: emotional disconnection, feeling cut off, getting dragged into chaos cycles, never having a truly relaxing weekend, constant phone use, and the dreaded “are you bored with me?” moment. Adam feels sorry for Donna… and honestly, fair. We finish with some strategies: planned downtime, working on guilt, accepting that scrolling can genuinely be relaxing, whether walks will help, and whether Adam needs a fidget toy. 5 minute moans this week: - Adam’s phone etiquette (who even uses the phone for actual calls?) - Adam turns it around on Donna (as always) And we end with your good, bad and uglies — listener stories about relaxing (or absolutely failing to). Keep them coming. Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/DFt0QswDXjE   Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #Anxiety #Rest #Relaxing #Burnout #Masking #Overthinking #RacingThoughts #Dopamine #ExecutiveDysfunction #EmotionalRegulation #TimeOff #SelfEmployedLife #BusinessOwner #GuiltSpiral #PhoneAddiction #Scrolling #Stimming #ADHDCommunity #GoodBadUgly #FiveMinuteMoans Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or Life? - Medication Titration Part 2 (4 weeks of ADHD meds)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re back with Medication Titration Part 2 — four weeks into ADHD meds, and it’s safe to say it’s been… a lot. Big note (and we mean it): this episode is based on personal experience only, with no medical knowledge whatsoever. Adam takes over this week (because apparently he’s a natural) and we catch up on what the last couple of weeks have actually been like on medication — not just for him, but for Donna and the whole family. We get into the titration process through NHS Right to Choose, the waiting, the limbo, the lack of contact, and that moment you realise you’re going to have to chase it yourself. Adam talks through what 50mg of Elvanse felt like, what happened when tablets ran low, and how differently we both experienced the same situation. We talk crashing, mood swings, irritability, and what Adam’s learned so far. We also chat about family life changes, being more present, and whether Adam’s lost that sense of urgency. Donna drops a truthbomb and Donna admits she prefers “new Adam” - but we’re also making plans so the same mess doesn’t happen again. Then we get onto the brand new “something something”: a top-up of 5mg Amfexa. The changes were great… but sleep took an absolute battering. Donna answers 5 quick-fire questions, we get into emotions, whether she hated old Adam (which definitely leads to in-car arguments), and Adam’s latest hyperfocus: David Ramsay, plus fully fan-boying Darren Connell. We also introduce a new segment with the very catchy title: “what Adam has learned this week about ADHD on Facebook”. Expect showers, handwriting, and the important question of the week: What way do you face in the shower? Let us know in the comments. This week we cover: * NHS Right to Choose: delays, limbo, and chasing your own care * Elvanse at 50mg: effects, distractions, and the crash * Running low on meds and how that impacts mood and family life * Mood swings, irritability, and being more present at home * Amfexa 5mg top-up: benefits vs sleep chaos * Donna’s quick-fire Qs (and the relationship truth bombs) * Hyperfocus obsessions, Facebook ADHD advice, and shower debates * A surprise Good, Bad & Ugly from Adam (on the spot and real) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oHzNI9yl9nU [https://youtu.be/oHzNI9yl9nU] Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS [https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS] More on our website: https://www.adhdorlife.com [https://www.adhdorlife.com/] Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered [https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered] Follow us: Instagram: @adhdorlifepod TikTok: @adhdorlifepod Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDMedication #Titration #Elvanse #Amfexa #RightToChoose #NHS #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDFamilyLife #ADHDCommunity #GoodBadUgly #FiveMinuteMoans Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]