Becoming Both

OCD & Ruminating Thoughts in Motherhood: Jordi Shares Her Experience

In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with the lovely Jordi, a 29-year-old mum of two from Adelaide, to talk honestly about OCD in pregnancy and motherhood. This conversation is real, raw and a huge reminder that not all anxiety is “just anxiety.. Jordi shares how OCD quietly shaped so much of her life for years before she was ever diagnosed, from intense fears around sickness and contamination to the constant need for certainty and reassurance. What looked like anxiety on the outside was actually something much deeper, and pregnancy with her first baby amplified everything. We talk about the panic episode at 32 weeks that finally led her to a perinatal psychiatrist, receiving an OCD diagnosis late in pregnancy, and the huge emotional weight of navigating all of that while preparing to become a mum. Jordi opens up about starting sertraline, choosing an elective caesarean birth, and the shock of postpartum intrusive thoughts, including frightening fears of harming her baby, and how extremely isolating that experience can feel when nobody talks about it openly. This episode also explores what changed the second time around: entering pregnancy with more understanding, the right support, medication already in place, and the difference that early intervention can make. More than anything, this conversation is about honesty. About how scary thoughts do not make you a bad mother. About how OCD can hide in plain sight. And about why mums deserve specialized, informed support — not dismissal. If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear, trapped in reassurance-seeking, or ashamed of intrusive thoughts, I hope this episode makes you feel less alone. If this episode brought anything up for you, please know support is available — and intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD in pregnancy/postpartum are far more common than many mums realize. Helpful supports: • PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia [https://www.panda.org.au?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Mon–Fri support line for parents during pregnancy and postpartum. 1300 726 306 • Beyond Blue [https://www.beyondblue.org.au?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 24/7 mental health support and counselling. 1300 22 4636 • Lifeline Australia [https://www.lifeline.org.au?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 24/7 crisis support. 13 11 14 • International OCD Foundation – Perinatal OCD Resources [https://iocdf.org/perinatal-ocd/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Helpful information around intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD. If you’re feeling dismissed, keep seeking support. You deserve care that takes your experience seriously! You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley. I would love to connect! Leaving a review or comment helps others find me. If you'd like to join me - feel free to email me marley@motheringthemama.com.au [marley@motheringthemama.com.au] as I am always looking for guests to share their story xx

Returning to Work: The Rollercoaster Of Transitioning Back To Work Post Children

I’m Marley, and this episode was actually recorded previously… only to realise my two year old had somehow hit mute on the microphone. Which honestly feels pretty on brand for this season of life. We’ve also just come out of what felt like an endless sleep deprivation spiral. About eight weeks of chaos that only really started improving after seeing a sleep consultant. So if I sound slightly delirious in this episode, that’s why. From there, I get into returning to work and childcare, and how loaded and personal the whole conversation can feel once you become a mum. I talk about the pressure a lot of families are under financially, and how daycare often ends up being the only realistic option because it’s the only thing subsidised. I also share my own weird guilt around using daycare three days a week while I nanny and study, and how I still catch myself feeling like I need to justify it. We get into the research around children and primary caregivers in those early years, while also acknowledging that some kids genuinely thrive in care. Like most things in parenting, it’s not black and white. I talk through some of the pros too. Identity outside motherhood, adult conversation, routine, financial relief, independence. But also the harder parts that people don’t always say out loud. The guilt, constant sickness, breastfeeding logistics, the mental load of organising everything, and trying to navigate workplaces that aren’t always supportive of mothers. There are listener stories in this one too, which honestly made me feel less alone reading them. And I share some practical things that can help. Gradual daycare transitions, having more honest conversations with employers, and why splitting the load at home matters so much more than people realise. This episode isn’t really about telling mums what they should do. It’s more just an honest conversation about how hard it can feel trying to make decisions for your kids while also trying to survive modern life. If you’ve been enjoying the pod, leaving a quick review genuinely helps more people find these conversations. And you can always come chat with me over on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

The Challenges of Step Parenting: Mel Shares The Ups & Downs

Hi everyone! Tonight I chat to Mel about all things step parenting. Mel’s been a stepmum for seven years to her stepson (who’s now 13 and has autism), and she also has two young daughters with her husband. So she’s right in the thick of the juggle. We talk about how misunderstood stepparents can feel. The “evil stepmum” narrative, the constant second-guessing, and the amount of behind-the-scenes stuff that just… goes unnoticed. School drop-offs, dinners, appointments, emotional support — all the things that make up parenting, but without always being seen as “the parent.” Mel shares how she’s built a relationship with her stepson over time (especially through his interests), and how much patience that’s taken. We get into the walking on eggshells feeling that can come with discipline, boundaries, and trying to find your place in decisions that don’t fully feel like yours to make. We also talk about how becoming a mum herself shifted things — especially her perspective and empathy towards her stepson’s biological mum, which is something I don’t think gets talked about enough. There’s a bit in here around a listener question too — fears around abuse statistics, dating someone with kids, and how overwhelming that can feel when you’re thinking about stepping into that kind of role. If you’re a step-parent, thinking about becoming one, or just curious about what it actually looks like behind closed doors — this will probably resonate. And if you’ve been listening along, leaving a quick review helps more than you’d think. You can always find me over on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

A Chit Chat: I Saw What On The Baby Monitor?!

Hello friends! Well, well.. Sophie’s sleep has gone completely rogue.. bedtime battles, random wake-ups, the co-sleeping convo making a comeback, and one very funny (but also painful at the time) monitor moment with Tyron. We are… not thriving on the sleep front. We’ve just done back-to-back birthdays for Jamie (5) and Sophie (2). We skipped the big parties this year and kept it low-key, which was actually way nicer. I run through what we got them — Lego, walkie talkies, books, a little VTech camera, Baby Born — nothing wild, just things they’re genuinely into. There’s also that weird feeling of the baby stage ending. Like I’m sad about it… but also don’t know if I can (or want to?) start again. I talk about the whole “third baby” thing .. wanting it in theory, but real life (money, capacity, everything) being a different story. I touch on nannying and how it constantly reminds me every kid and every family is so different. What works for one just… doesn’t for another, and that’s been sitting with me a lot lately. And then the heavier bits — feeling overwhelmed, the identity shift that still somehow catches me off guard, yelling and then feeling like crap after, body image, all of it. I also chat a bit about moving more into counselling for mums and why that feels like the right direction for me right now. If this feels like your current season, you’re not the only one in it. If you’ve been listening, leaving a review actually helps more than you’d think. And you can always find me on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

Tricky Family & In Law Dynamics: A Chat With Kate

This episode is a real one. I’m Marley, and in this episode of Becoming Both I chat with Kate — a mum to a 13-month-old — about the messy, very real side of motherhood… especially when you’re doing it without much family support. We get into a lot in this conversation. Kate shares her experience with long-term anxiety and depression, and how that showed up through pregnancy (after a previous loss) and into postpartum. We talk about what actually helped — a supportive partner, consistent midwife care, therapy, and eventually medication — and how stigma within her family made reaching out for that support feel even harder. But the bigger thread running through this episode is estrangement and boundaries. Not the dramatic version people expect — the quieter, more confusing version where things just don’t feel right. We talk about: * navigating a complicated relationship with your own mum * how becoming a parent can bring up a lot of self-worth stuff you didn’t expect * the grief of not having the kind of family support you thought you would * when daycare becomes more than childcare — it becomes a lifeline * the pressure and entitlement that can come with “grandparent access” * how family dynamics can feel performative, surface-level, or even unsafe * the way all of this quietly impacts your relationship and your mental health And the part people don’t say out loud — you can hold boundaries and still grieve the relationship you wish you had. This isn’t about telling anyone what to do with their family. It’s just an honest conversation about something a lot of people are living through, but not always talking about. If your version of motherhood doesn’t include the “village” everyone talks about… this one will probably hit. CONNECT IG: @doulamarley Podcast: @becomingboth