Big F*cking Dreams

82: Addicted to Struggle: The Pattern Keeping High Performers Stuck

Nine years ago, Hannah Kissel made the most important decision of her life. She was sitting in a bathtub, a few days before her 27th birthday, and she realised something: she didn't want to do this anymore. Not life — but the version of it she was living. In this deeply personal solo episode, recorded on her 36th birthday and 9-year sobriety anniversary, Hannah shares what she's never talked about publicly - the moment that changed everything, what sobriety actually gave her, and the new pattern she's currently working through: an addiction to struggle. This isn't a cautionary tale. It's a blueprint. And whether you drink or not, if you're a high performer who constantly makes things harder than they need to be, this one's going to hit home. In this episode, Hannah covers: - The bathtub moment: the decision that started everything - What her therapist said that she'll never forget - Why addiction is really about discontentedness — not willpower - How an addictive, obsessive personality shows up in other areas (work, relationships, sugar, hockey romance novels) - Why the 12-step modality is the most powerful transformation framework she's ever encountered — and how she built her entire coaching program around it - Her current phase of recovery: the addiction to struggle, overcomplicating, and working harder than necessary - The intentional self-care routine that keeps her at equilibrium (and why she does it even when she doesn't want to) - Why "I could have drinking — or I could have everything else" is still the most clarifying thought she's ever had - Learning to let things be easy — and why that's harder than it sounds for high performers The bottom line: Sobriety was the foundation. Everything else — the business, the marriage, the novel, the life — was built on top of it. And the next frontier isn't doing more. It's learning to let it be good. Timestamps: 02:00 — The bathtub moment: sitting in the dark before her 27th birthday 03:30 — What her therapist said that changed everything 04:30 — Growing up in LA: why sobriety and recovery were normalised early 05:30 — Moving to Australia: the taboo around sobriety and why it went underground 06:30 — "I could have drinking — or I could have everything else" 07:15 — The addictive, obsessive personality and where it shows up instead 08:30 — Why addiction is discontentedness, not weakness 09:30 — The 12-step modality: why it's the most powerful transformation framework she knows 11:00 — How Hannah built her coaching program on the AA model 12:30 — What sobriety gave her: business, marriage, novel, PTSD diagnosis, herself 14:00 — The current phase: addiction to struggle — overcomplicating, overworking, overdoing 15:30 — The master's degree story: reading four extra books for a one-page assignment 16:30 — Learning to let it be easy — and why that's the hardest thing yet 17:30 — The intentional self-care routine that keeps her at equilibrium 18:30 — Closing: gratitude, what's next, and the invitation to reach out If this episode resonates with you, please leave a rating. It's the biggest way you can support what we're building here, and every single review helps us reach someone who needs this. Big love, dreamers. #highperformer #sobrietyisworthit #addictionrecoverypodcast #defineyourfuture #womeninbusiness #uncomplicated #highperformancemindset #lessismore

81: Burnout Isn't a Badge of Honour: Here's How to Get Out

Your nervous system is sending you a message. Are you listening? High performers are often the last people to admit they're burning out because they're still getting great performance reviews while their body quietly falls apart. In this episode, Hannah responds to a listener who has been in back-to-back burnout cycles for two years. She's a project manager at a major financial institution - brilliant at her job, crossing time zones daily, triple-checking everything, answering Slack at 10pm and now dealing with stress-related stomach issues and anxiety more days than not. She can't quit. She needs the salary. And she's tried therapy, tried saying no, and keeps ending up right back here. Hannah uses Christina Maslach's clinical framework to diagnose exactly what's happening, and then gives a clear, no-fluff roadmap for getting out of it without torching your career. In this episode, Hannah covers: • Christina Maslach's 3-component burnout framework • Why "greedy jobs" in finance, law, tech, and consulting are burnout factories • How to separate job demands from personality patterns (and why you need to address both) • The financial reality of burnout: the 15% salary hit most people don't see coming • Tactical schedule changes to contain the time zone problem • Why therapy alone isn't enough and what coaching does differently • When to consider a lateral role change (and what you actually trade away) • How to choose between career acceleration and your health The truth: You can have a thriving career and not be sick. But you can't have both at the same time if you keep doing the same things. Timestamps: 02:30 — Christina Maslach's 3-component burnout framework explained 04:00 — Diagnosing the listener: Does she qualify? (All three boxes ticked) 05:00 — "Greedy jobs" why finance, law, and tech normalise burnout 06:15 — Separating job demands from personality patterns: time zones vs. perfectionism 07:30 — The real question: is your priority health or the mortgage? 08:30 — The financial cost of burnout: the 15% salary hit nobody warns you about 09:15 — Tactical fix #1: condensing time zone work to specific days 10:00 — Tactical fix #2: negotiating with your manager + using health as a lever 11:00 — Why therapy alone isn't enough and what coaching does differently 12:30 — Considering a lateral role change: the trade-offs, honestly 13:45 — Career acceleration vs. health: you can't have both right now 14:30 — "You can have a thriving career and not be sick", Hannah's closing belief Resources/ Links: Christina Maslach is best known as one of the pioneering researchers on job burnout and the author of the Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), the most widely used research measure in the burnout field. https://maslach.socialpsychology.org/files 🚨 Got a career challenge? Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline! Email: hello@hannahkissel.com Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/ Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/ Visit Hannah's website: www.hannahkissel.com ------- Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles. DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email dominiqueenglish04@gmail.com. #highperformer #burnoutprevention #burnoutrecovery #healthisthenewwealth #burnouttobreakthrough #workplaceadvice #thebodykeepsthescore #workplacewellness

80: The Real Reason You Feel Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed? It's probably not what you think it is. In this raw, unscripted solo episode, Hannah shares what came out of her most recent therapy session - a realisation that stopped her in her tracks. She'd been feeling overwhelmed. Shutting down. Going full "sloth monster." And when she traced it back to the source, it wasn't burnout. It wasn't doing too much. It was the complete opposite - it was not making decisions. If you're in a season of growth where everything feels uncertain, you have ten browser tabs open in your brain, and you can't seem to pick a direction. This episode is going to land hard. The bottom line: Overwhelm isn't always about doing too much. Sometimes it's about deciding too little. Pick a direction, any direction and let the data tell you what to do next. 📩 DM Hannah if this hit home, she wants to hear from you. Key Takeaways: - Overwhelm is often indecision in disguise. - Know your stress response. - Open decisions are open wounds. - Indecision has a massive opportunity cost. - More research = more paralysis - Ring-fence big decisions with a deadline. - Cap your research time - Execute to get data — not to get it perfect. - Perfectionism is a momentum killer. - You're better at executing than you think. Timestamps: 02:00 — The window of tolerance: hyper-arousal vs. hypo-arousal explained 02:45 — Meet the "sloth monster": Hannah's hypo-arousal shutdown mode 03:30 — The root cause: overwhelm = indecision during hypergrowth 04:15 — Why being good at executing directives doesn't translate to open-ended decisions 04:45 — The "open tabs" problem and the opportunity cost of not deciding 05:30 — Real examples: evergreen vs. launch, program naming dilemmas 06:15 — The 3-step decision-making framework: ring-fence, cap research, execute 07:00 — Why more research leads to more paralysis (not better decisions) 07:45 — Perfectionism + the friend who joined the program for the same reason 08:15 — When big life decisions ARE worth more time (and when they're not) #decisionmaking #overwhelmed #indecision #createyourownfuture #decisionsmatter #lifecoachforwomen #lifeworkbalance

79: Can You Be Both Compassionate AND Authoritative? (Yes, Here's How)

You can be powerful. You can be liked. They're not opposites. If you've just stepped into a bigger leadership role and you're about to have the hardest conversations of your career, this one's for you. In this Hannah Hotline episode, Hannah coaches a listener who has rocketed from career-changer to C-suite executive in just three years, now managing nearly 30 people and reporting directly to the CEO. A major restructure is coming. Roles are being changed. A senior colleague is now reporting to her. And she has to deliver "you're in or you're out" messages to people she genuinely likes. She feels like a fraud. Hannah's response? You're confusing people-pleasing with people-caring and they are not the same thing. In this episode, Hannah covers: - The critical difference between people-pleasing and people-caring (and why it changes everything) - Why people-pleasing is actually protecting you, not them - How to reframe "in or out" messages as giving people agency, not taking it away - What to actually say to a senior colleague who now reports to you - Why "clarity is the kindest thing you can do" as a leader - The identity shift required to step into real leadership authority - How to increase your tolerance for discomfort, without losing your character - Situational leadership and nonviolent communication as practical tools The truth about people-pleasing in leadership: avoiding hard conversations doesn't protect your team. It protects you and it costs your team clarity, direction, and respect. Got a question for Hannah? Email hello@hannahkissel.com Timestamps: 02:30 — First reframe: you can be powerful and likable, they're not opposites 04:00 — People-pleasing vs. people-caring: the distinction that changes everything 05:30 — "Clarity is the kindest thing you can do", why avoiding hard conversations hurts people 07:00 — Reframing "in or out" messages: giving people agency, not taking it away 08:15 — How to handle the senior colleague who now reports to you 09:45 — Using your C-suite influence to make the restructure more employee-friendly 11:00 — The identity shift: increasing your tolerance for discomfort 12:30 — Building your support system + tools (nonviolent communication, situational leadership) 13:30 — Send Hannah your questions + wrap up #peoplepleasingrecovery #clarityiskey #careertransitions #workplaceadvice #highperformer

78: The Money Mindset Shift High-Performing Women Need to Hear

"How you do money is how you do everything." If you've ever frozen when you should have acted, avoided looking at your bank account, or made a financial decision out of fear. This episode is going to hit differently. Hannah sits down with Julia Scott, Sydney-based financial advisor, wealth mentor, chartered accountant, and founder of Love Luck Wealth and the upcoming FinTech platform Jane, to talk about the real reason so many high-performing women are secretly sabotaging themselves financially. This is not your standard money podcast. Julia brings together financial expertise and emotional intelligence to explain why the traditional finance industry was built for men, why women freeze instead of act, and what to actually do about it. In this episode, they cover: * Why self-sabotage shows up in your finances — and how to catch it * The uncomfortable truth about women's historical relationship with money * Julia's personal story: the divorce that tested everything she knew about finance — and why it became her mission * Why you should never make a financial decision from a place of fear * The case for prenuptial agreements (even if you're not wealthy) * How to financially prepare for having children * The 6–12 month safety cushion rule — and why most people skip it * Practical tools for dealing with financial stress and anxiety * The "50 ways to make money" exercise that unlocks creative income thinking * Why perfectionism is an energy leak — and how to stop it costing you * Raising your frequency to meet your financial goals (yes, there's science behind this) Two thirds of the world's wealth is forecast to be in women's hands. The question is, are you ready to hold yours? About Julia Scott Julia Scott is a Chartered Accountant, wealth educator, and founder dedicated to helping women build financial confidence and long-term wealth. After beginning her career advising ultra-high-net-worth families, Julia saw firsthand that many capable women had been left out of the financial conversations shaping their futures. Determined to change that, she founded Love Luck Wealth, where she teaches women how to overcome money blocks, invest wisely, and build meaningful wealth. Julia is also the founder of Money by Jane, an upcoming financial platform designed to give women easier access to banking, investing, and financial education. Her work is driven by a simple belief: when women understand money, they change the trajectory of their lives and the generations that follow. She lives in Sydney Australia and is passionate about empowering women everywhere to feel confident, capable, and in control of their financial future. Connect with Julia Love Luck Wealth: https://www.loveluckwealth.com/ [https://www.loveluckwealth.com/] hello@loveluckwealth.com