Caitlin's Couch

Episode #31: Appreciation is the Love Language We All Need

We all want to feel appreciated, seen, and connected in our relationships, but often, we feel the opposite. We feel unappreciated and taken for granted. That’s because we were never taught how to express appreciation meaningfully. But appreciation in a relationship is essential, so learning how to express it in a way that makes your partner feel seen is important. In this heartfelt episode of Caitlin’s Couch, Caitlin shares a deeply personal story that sparked an essential lesson on the power of appreciation in relationships. After a long and difficult chapter supporting her husband through a decade-long PhD journey, a simple yet emotional moment of genuine gratitude from him reminded her just how impactful heartfelt appreciation can be. Caitlin breaks down why appreciation isn’t just a “nice to have,” it’s foundational to intimacy and connection. She introduces a practical, 3-step process for expressing appreciation in a way that truly makes your partner feel seen, valued, and emotionally connected. Whether you're in a long-term partnership or just beginning one, this episode will leave you reflecting on how you give and receive love and how to do both more meaningfully. Key Takeaways: * Appreciation is foundational, not optional in a thriving relationship. * Emotional expression and specificity are what make appreciation land. * Many people struggle with expressing and receiving appreciation, but it’s a skill that can be learned. * Feeling truly seen can be healing, even if we didn’t know how much we needed it. If you enjoyed this podcast, check out these related posts: * Listen to and read more content on Caitlin’s Substack: Caitlin's Couch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Connect with Caitlin: * Website: caitlincantor.com [http://caitlinscouch.com/] * Substack: Caitlin’s Couch [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/Caitlin's Couch [https://open.substack.com/pub/caitlinscouch] * Tik Tok: Caitlin’s Couch [https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinscouch] If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from these insights! Thanks for reading Caitlin's Couch! This post is public so feel free to share it. Disclaimer [https://www.caitlinscouch.com/podcast-disclaimer] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caitlinscouch.substack.com [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode #30: Easy Non-Sexual Ways to Maintain Connection and Keep Your Intimacy Alive

In this episode of The Caitlin’s Couch Podcast, we are back! Caitlin dives into the challenges couples face in maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships and marriages. She discusses why sexual desire changes over time, why connection is crucial between sexual experiences, and how intentional effort can help rekindle passion. Caitlin shares five practical, research-backed strategies to keep emotional and physical connection strong, helping partners feel more available for intimacy. If you or your partner struggles with feeling "in the mood," this episode provides actionable insights to bridge that gap and create a cycle of connection rather than distance. Key Takeaways: * The Reality of Long-Term Relationships & Intimacy – Sex in a committed relationship evolves from the early days of passion and novelty to something that requires intention and effort. * Maintaining Connection Between Sexual Experiences – Connection isn’t just about sex itself; what happens in between is just as important. * Bridging the Gap in Different Connection Styles – Some people need emotional closeness before being available for sex, while others need sex to feel emotionally close. Understanding and balancing these differences can lead to a stronger relationship. Resources Mentioned: * Read Caitlin’s latest Psychology Today article on maintaining connection: Simple Non-Sexual Daily Practices for Maintaining Intimacy [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-sex/202503/simple-non-sexual-daily-practices-for-maintaining-intimacy] * Listen to the latest blog post from Modern Sex, Caitlin’s blog on Psychology Today: * Listen to and read more content on Caitlin’s Substack: Connect with Caitlin: * Website: caitlincantor.com [http://caitlinscouch.com] * Substack: Caitlin’s Couch [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/Caitlin's Couch [https://open.substack.com/pub/caitlinscouch] * Tik Tok: Caitlin’s Couch [https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinscouch] If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from these insights! Caitlin's Couch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caitlinscouch.substack.com [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode #29: Releasing Relational Expectations with Jen Banks

Welcome to Caitlin’s Couch! In this episode, Caitlin is interviewing Jen Banks!  Jen is a Teacher, quote collector and an all around amazing person who loves to share her wisdom. She lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is supporting wildlife by raising two (soon to be three) boys. Her favorite indoor activity is baking and her favorite outdoor activity is frisbee golf. She graduated from Utah State University in Elementary Education and Early Childhood Education. Jen collects inspirational quotes, plays the violin, and is fiercely in love with her husband of seven years, Jared.  Follow Jen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aisforadversity/ [https://www.instagram.com/aisforadversity/]  Check out A is For Adversity: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-is-for-adversity/id1547037764 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-is-for-adversity/id1547037764]  The Caitlin’s Couch podcast is brought to you by Higher Dose. Supercharge your self care and boost holistic recovery with wellness tools designed to ignite vitality from the inside out. Caitlin personally loves their infrared sauna blanket and uses it several times a week! It increases the body's thermal energy, enhances relaxation, promotes glowing skin and it's super easy to use. Over time, It will lead you to feel an overall sense of better wellness,  improve your mood, make you feel like you’re glowing and boost your immunity!  Get your Higher Dose Sauna Blanket for 15% off when you use the code: CaitlinsCouch at checkout: https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch [https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch]   Curious if you’re ready for a serious relationship? Take Caitlin’s quiz and find out! Take the quiz here: Are you Ready for a Serious Relationship [https://www.caitlinscouch.com/quiz]?  Don’t forget to tag me on social media [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] with your results!  For more from Caitlin be sure to follow her on Instagram @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] and Tik Tok @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinscouch?lang=en]! Daily Harvest is the fastest, easiest, most delicious way to eat well. I’m obsessed! Use my link to get $25 off of your first order! [https://bit.ly/2vXe8k0] IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT * Who Jen Banks is and how her early childhood education degree supports her relationships. * How Jen married her high school sweetheart, and together they worked through every relationship struggle that came their way.  * In a relationship, you need to each give 100%. * How important it is to remove expectations from your relationship.  * The truth behind love languages.  QUOTES * “What I learned first is to identify and meet your own needs. This is important because a lot of people rely on their spouse or their partner for their happiness, and as much as we would like to control people, we can’t. If we are meeting our own needs… whatever our spouse does is just icing on the cake.” * “To have a healthy relationship, you have to have space for people's differences. If you can’t allow for those differences, you’re going to have struggles.” * “I had to realize that [my husband] was giving me love, it just wasn’t in the ways that I was looking for it.” * “You don’t have to be completely happy and stop wanting a partner, but you can't look for a partner to be the SOUL SORCE OF YOUR HAPPINESS and WORTHINESS, because it just doesn’t work out.” LOVE THE PODCAST? Hey there! If you like our podcast, don’t forget to give us a rating and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts! Your feedback really helps us to continue bringing you our best content, week after week.  If you haven’t already, Click here [https://pod.link/1515578253] to subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts and iheart radio, so you don’t miss out on all the dating and relationship empowerment coming your way! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caitlinscouch.substack.com [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode #28: Find Your Purpose with ReGina Smithwick

Welcome to Caitlin’s Couch! In this episode, Caitlin is interviewing ReGina R Smithwick!  ReGina Smithwick was born in Harlem, NY, raised in Mount Vernon, NY, and Teaneck NJ. She now resides in Winterville, NC with her three children. She is the founder of ReGina Smithwick Enterprises LLC, providing Certified Life Coaching and a Professional Organizational service. She is also the creator and producer of Talk Show & Podcast, Let's Talk 1943. In addition, she is a Motivational Speaker and Author of Adoption: The Unknown Blessing. She also publishes many self-help journals.  She attended Virginia State University and received her Master of Science degree in Organizational Leadership from National University.  Click here to learn more about ReGina’s book on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=regina+smithwick&i=stripbooks&crid=9ZAM2JD0YWDN&sprefix=ReGina++Smithwick%2Cstripbooks%2C59&ref=nb_sb_ss_c_2_16_ts-doa-p]. Check out Let’s Talk 1943 on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lets-Talk-1943-107586144745499 [https://www.facebook.com/Lets-Talk-1943-107586144745499]Follow Lets_Talk 1943 on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lets_talk1943/ [https://www.instagram.com/lets_talk1943/] Follow @letstalk1943 on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/letstalk1943/_created/ [https://www.pinterest.com/letstalk1943/_created/]  Visit www.letstalk1943.com [http://www.letstalk1943.com]  Check out Adoption: The Unknown Blessing on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adoptiontheunknownblessing [https://www.facebook.com/adoptiontheunknownblessing]  Follow adoption_theunknownblessing on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adoption_theunknownblessing/ [https://www.instagram.com/adoption_theunknownblessing/]  The Caitlin’s Couch podcast is brought to you by Higher Dose. Supercharge your self care and boost holistic recovery with wellness tools designed to ignite vitality from the inside out. Caitlin personally loves their infrared sauna blanket and uses it several times a week! It increases the body's thermal energy, enhances relaxation, promotes glowing skin and it's super easy to use. Over time, It will lead you to feel an overall sense of better wellness,  improve your mood, make you feel like you’re glowing and boost your immunity!  Get your Higher Dose Sauna Blanket for 15% off when you use the code: CaitlinsCouch at checkout: https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch [https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch]   Curious if you’re ready for a serious relationship? Take Caitlin’s quiz and find out! Take the quiz here: Are you Ready for a Serious Relationship [https://www.caitlinscouch.com/quiz]?  Don’t forget to tag me on social media [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] with your results!  For more from Caitlin be sure to follow her on Instagram @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] and Tik Tok @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinscouch?lang=en]! Daily Harvest is the fastest, easiest, most delicious way to eat well. I’m obsessed! Use my link to get $25 off of your first order! [https://bit.ly/2vXe8k0] IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT * Who ReGina is and how she became an author, motivational speaker and certified life coach, going from living and existing to thriving in her purpose.  * How ReGina found her birth family, 50 years after her adoption, and how it helped her discover her self worth and true value. * What it means to ring out your sponge to absorb growth, abundance and new beliefs.  QUOTES * “When you try to fit in, at what cost?” * “Everything starts with a seed. You plant your little seed in your garden and as it grows, you grow out what you want to grow out. If you put a bad seed in the ground, you're going to grow weeds.” * “When you stand in your purpose and you know who you are, you let stuff roll over. You don’t care about what people say about you, or how they feel about you, they don’t want to be around you. You don’t care.”  * “When you live in your purpose, people don’t understand it, because you’re totally on another level.” LOVE THE PODCAST? Hey there! If you like our podcast, don’t forget to give us a rating and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts! Your feedback really helps us to continue bringing you our best content, week after week.  If you haven’t already, Click here [https://pod.link/1515578253] to subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts and iheart radio, so you don’t miss out on all the dating and relationship empowerment coming your way! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caitlinscouch.substack.com [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode #27: How Childhood Traumas Manifest in Adult Relationships with Kaytlyn Gillis, LCSW

Welcome to Caitlin's Couch! In this episode, Caitlin is interviewing Kaytlyn Gillis, LCSW! Kaytlyn is a psychotherapist and author with a passion for working with survivors of family trauma and the LGBTQ+ community.  Her work focuses on assisting survivors of psychological abuse, stalking, and other non-physical forms of family and domestic violence. Her recent book, Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence Can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System, sheds light on the ways that the legal system can perpetuate the cycle of domestic violence by failing to recognize patterns that would otherwise hold perpetrators accountable and protect survivors.  Gillis provides training on recognizing patterns of domestic violence, treating the aftermath of abuse, and helping survivors move forward. Kaytlyn shares how red flags can be disguised as the norm as a child, but these childhood traumas can manifest in adult relationships as dysfunctional patterns.  Check out Katlyn’s website: https://www.kaytlyngillislcsw.com/ [https://www.kaytlyngillislcsw.com/]  Read more about Kaytlyn on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/contributors/kaytee-gillis-lcsw-bacs [https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/contributors/kaytee-gillis-lcsw-bacs] Follow Kaytlyn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claras__voice/ [https://www.instagram.com/claras__voice/]  Join the Clara’s Voice Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1190399851490363 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1190399851490363]  Check out Kaytlyn’s book, Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Bruises-Understanding-Patterns-Survivors/dp/1737551578 [https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Bruises-Understanding-Patterns-Survivors/dp/1737551578]  The lovingly blunt podcast is brought to you by Higher Dose. Supercharge your self care and boost holistic recovery with wellness tools designed to ignite vitality from the inside out. Caitlin personally loves their infrared sauna blanket and uses it several times a week! It increases the body's thermal energy, enhances relaxation, promotes glowing skin and it's super easy to use. Over time, It will lead you to feel an overall sense of better wellness,  improve your mood, make you feel like you’re glowing and boost your immunity!  Get your Higher Dose Sauna Blanket for 15% off when you use the code: CaitlinsCouch at checkout: https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch [https://bit.ly/cailtinscouch]   Curious if you’re ready for a serious relationship? Take Caitlin’s quiz and find out! Take the quiz here: Are you Ready for a Serious Relationship [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/605c94dce95ec40017f76c98]?  Don’t forget to tag me on social media [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] with your results!  For more from Caitlin be sure to follow her on Instagram @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.instagram.com/caitlinscouch/] and Tik Tok @CaitlinsCouch [https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinscouch?lang=en]! Daily Harvest is the fastest, easiest, most delicious way to eat well. I’m obsessed! Use my link to get $25 off of your first order! [https://bit.ly/2vXe8k0]   IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT * Who Kaytlyn is and the work she does to assist survivors of psychological abuse, stalking, and other non-physical forms of family and domestic violence. * How diving into childhood traumas helps to release dysfunctional adulthood relational patterns.  * What’s normal vs dysfunctional when you grow up in certain situations.  * The pattern of Serial Monogamy, or repeating the same dysfunctional patterns in relationship after relationship because you haven’t done the inner work yet.  * The importance of being Trauma Informed.    QUOTES * “I personally found that once I started to dive into my own childhood trauma, it was incredible in how much it helped me understand my relationship struggles as an adult.” * “We normalize any dysfunction, because it’s not dysfunction as a child, it’s our normal.” * “Most of us do [have trauma]. There is no perfect childhood.” * “It’s not about condemning people or anything like that. Oftentimes, parents who engaged in behaviors that ended up being traumatic, also did things that were loving and kind and ‘good parenting’. * “Children of trauma had their boundaries violated.”   LOVE THE PODCAST? Hey there! If you like our podcast, don’t forget to give us a rating and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts! Your feedback really helps us to continue bringing you our best content, week after week.  If you haven’t already, Click here [https://pod.link/1515578253] to subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts and iheart radio, so you don’t miss out on all the dating and relationship empowerment coming your way! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caitlinscouch.substack.com [https://caitlinscouch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]