Clocking the Nation

Going AEI for Views: TMZ Takes on DC, Eric Swalwell Busts, Elizabeth Warren Questions MrBeast, Allbirds Embraces DEI for AI | S2 E15, Pt. 1

It's a thiccy so we have two parts for y'all. Lawmakers have been so busted the house that Harvey Levin has opened a TMZ bureau in DC to track down lawmaker CUNKS like Ted Cruz, Lindsay Graham, and Eric Swalwell. Swalwell in particular has been getting his dirty laundry aired out, with leaked bideos and images that caused him to resign in disgrace. Elizabeth Warren made one of the best social media posts of the year with a graphic declaring that she has questions for MrBeast. Companies are embracing AEI, aka DEI for AI, by uploading these bots into everything. Allbirds, in particular, has gone from soy-green armpit-hair shoes to offering "GPU as a Service," or GAAS for short.

The Future Belongs to the Ran Through: Marc Andreessen Introspection, Clavicle on SNL, & Elon Musk’s Chibi AI Era | S2 E14

Howdy girls, we're back for another episode with our cast of viewsmaxxers. It's clear the veil between X and our soyciety has officially lifted, and the monsters + DOGE designers are spilling out to dictate news and policy. James Fisback, a candidate for Florida Governor, is a right-wing troll gaining steam with College Rethuglicans and America Firsters, he's gone viral for his proposed sin tax on OnlyStans creators. Clavicle is also catapulting to mainstream views, being mentioned on dusty news shows and getting parodied on SNL. Elon Musk is back on his bullshiz on X, tweeting every three seconds and sharing chibi henlo anime AI MESS with Nicki Minaj. Marc Andreessen gets flamed on X for an unflattering photo edit of his egghead and for saying that he has no introspection while on a dusty podcast. It's clear our society is internetmaxxing, but lowkey in the worst way.

The Deep State Spreads its Holo: Alex Karp Neurodivergent, Bari Weiss Flops & Torta Coin Pops Off | S2 E13

Oh hentie, it's a mess out here in 2026. Your hosts kick off their first episode of the year with a deep dive into the World Economic Forum, a collection of globalist dusties in Davos, Switzerland to share their worst ideas. Alex Karp of Palantir took the stage to rehabilitate his image, and Elon Musk went alien for views as he tries to seem palatable to European fuglies. A recent release of Epstein files revealed that Elonka was begging to visit PDF island, but was turned away by Ghislaine Maxwell. Our theory was proven that the deep state haaaates him and his DOGE Designers. In the USA, we continue to fall victim to MESS. Erika Kirk and Candace Owens are at it again, claiming that they see Charlie Kirk when they astral project at night. Bari Weiss's CBS Evening News host Tony Dokoupil has tanked the program's ratings by 25% over last year, effectively putting the show in the ground. You know Mizz Bari is Free Pressed. And a new meme page has entered the chat, as Torta Coin takes off on Insta, netting more likes clicks and shares than the Free Press has ever gotten in its lifetime. Men will have Tortas or NADA! Enjoy sisterz.

The Ultimate Humiliation Ritual: Erika Kirk’s CBS Town Hall, Alex Karp at the NYT Summit, and Piers Morgan | S2 E12

We've gotta close out the ran thru year of 2025 with another thick drop, our LONGEST yet. America's Widow, Mizz Erika Kirk, had an interview with CTN fav Bari Weiss that is making the rounds online. Her primetime town hall on CBS News captured her odd behavior, switching from being happy and cheery to what some are saying is a demonic presence...your hosts explore. The Piers Morgan show can't stop being the peak humiliation ritual on the internet. This time, Piers brought on Congressional candidate Valentina Gomez, who had a train ran on her by a group of dusties on Zoom for being racist towards Muslim people. Nick Fuentes also appeared on the show to talk about being a virgin. We clock the next guest Piers should have, Ryan Williams, aka @koreanscott on X, who is a pick me for dusty English views. The New York Times Summit was an absolute disaster, with Palantir CEO Alex Karp having a full tweak sesh on stage. Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom sat on the iconic chair in a way that had people on X questioning his persuasion. And Free Press staff writer, Olivia Ringold, makes another appearance, this time for the cold email that got her hired by Bari. All you gotta do to get hired at the Free Press is call NYC dirty and shid on the libz. Enjoy and Happy New Year!!

Episode 11: Stuck in a dark H0L0

Hey hentai, it's a blessing to be back. Your fav hosts have been battling demonic forces IRL and triumphing, and we're excited to share more with y'all. Obviously, at the top of the list are more antics by Bari Weiss' Free Press, which is obsessed with Ozempic and Zohran Mamdani. We clock TFP Staff Writer Olivia Reingold, who has a terminal case of ZDS (Zohran Derangement Syndrome), and Susie Weiss, sis of Bari, who has a fixation on everyone's weight. We gotta hand it to Bari tho, she knows how to sprinkle sprinkle the establishment tech dusties. Palantir CEO Alex Karp is going ranthru in the media circuit, begging for views and tanking engagement rates on every platform his face appears on. That's what you get for being the IT department for mess. We also talk about Bryan Johnson, the I wanna live forever guy, who can't stop tweeting about taking shrooms. Strap in and strap on, this one's a doozy.