Commit One

Ep. 96: Could’ve Been Worse. This Could’ve Had Cher.: Commit One’s Review of Fatal Beauty

This is one movie that if they actually tried to rip off another movie it would have been an improvement! Will, Mike, and Sam travel to the world of 80s cop films with the forgotten "gem" from 1987: Fatal Beauty. Starring Whoopi Goldberg in the main role along with Sam Elliot as a bodyguard and love interest (yeah, with all due respect we didn't get that one either), the film follows Whoopi's sometimes-undercover cop character as she digs into the drug trade so much that we had to do a disclaimer at the beginning of this episode to address it and, at the time of the film's release, it almost gained an X rating from the MPAA for its content....it's THAT involved. Despite the interesting backstory, the film proves to actually be a boring slog and just becomes lost in all of the better 80s cop films of the time. Yet, despite wanting to completely forget this one altogether, the Commit One crew is here to dig deep into this film that even the director wanted out of.

Ep. 95: How is this NOT an Asylum Film?!: Commit One’s Review of Jeepers Creepers: Reborn

Will the torture ever stop??? Will, Mike, and Sam revisit the world of the Jeepers Creepers franchise that they covered in the very first Trilogy of Torture by looking at the reboot film that stumbled over itself right out of the starting gate with the 2022 entry Jeepers Creepers: Reborn. With no cast returning (not even Jonathan Breck for his role as the Creeper) and no involvement from the original creator Victor Salva (which is honestly a good thing in the grand scheme of things), this film tries to do something new with the story and twist things around, but fails miserably in the storytelling area along with some stilted acting at times, laughable CGI, and so much obvious green screen usage you will wonder if the budget ran out halfway through. When you can make Jeepers Creepers 3 look passable, you know something has gone terribly wrong. Yet, it is perfect cannon fodder for the Commit One crew who wises this doesn't come back for the next 23 years or more.

Ep. 94: The Critics Should Have Been Court Marshaled!: Commit One’s Review of Major Payne

Can someone PLEASE explain to us why the critics didn't like this one? Will, Mike, and Sam take on a 90s classic film that helped make Damon Wayans a household name (as well as give many, many quotable lines) in the 1995 military comedy Major Payne. Co-starring Karyn Parsons (of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fame), the film features Wayans as a tough Marine who becomes the commanding officer of a bunch of misfit JROTC cadets. Yeah...even with the military theme it is a bit paint-by-numbers. While predictable at times, it still holds up as a favorite despite somehow qualifying for the podcast with a low critic score (but the audience score was much better). At least the late Roger Ebert liked it, and that is one critic the Commit One crew can agree on as they take on this fondly-remembered piece of 90s film.

Ep. 93: Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho! Heigh...Oh No No No!!!: Commit One’s Review of My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) (Valentine’s Day Special)

Note: As Sam explains in the opening to this episode we ran into technical difficulties with the recording to the effect that the timing seems a bit off in places. We do apologize for this as we could not fix this in time and we may do a re-release later on down the line with it corrected, but we do hope it does not distract from your enjoyment of the episode.   Nothing says "I love you" like a pickaxe to the head! Will, Mike, and Sam celebrate Valentine's Day in their own....unique....way by looking at a holiday-themed horror movie that, while technically breaking the rules for the podcast ratings-wise, still has several flaws in the 2009 remake (cue Will's grumble) My Bloody Valentine 3D. Starring Jensen Ackles of Supernatural fame as it was getting very popular (in fact co-star Jared Padalecki from the show was in his own horror film as well that same year), the film lives up to its title in spades with the typical slasher-movie villain, but also features some wooden acting, terrible and nonsensical plot development, and characters you really cannot root for. This is one Valentine's Day gift that the Commit One crew just wishes could be returned to the store.

Ep. 92: Here There Be...Aliens?: Commit One’s Review of Outlander

Not to be confused with the STARZ series (at least it didn't rip off a classic tale). Will, Mike, and Sam kick off 2023 with a look back into the past....we guess....with the 2008 film Outlander. Starring Jim Caviezel as the titular outlander who is really a humanoid alien (don't worry that doesn't spoil anything as you know that in the first five minutes) who must adapt to Anglo-Saxon Viking culture to hunt a monster under the guidance of King Hrothgar (played by John Hurt) and must use his "magical" ways to defeat these odds....wait a minute....this is a rip-off of Beowulf!!! Despite the protests of the English teacher of the group (Will), the Commit One crew is still destined to look at this film that just hits the massive battle cry of "meh" by the end.