Dire Straights

Are feminists "anti-family"?

Today we’re digging into an age-old question along the lines of has feminism ruined the workplace? and has feminism pushed men into the manosphere? and did feminism get Trump elected? We gathered a roundtable of people who are pro-marriage and anti-divorce who don’t believe women should have any rights. We’re calling this conversation, Did feminism ruin the family? JK. More seriously, this episode asks whether feminists and progressives today are “anti-family.” We talk about the trap of that framing, and why being against the nuclear family is good, actually. We look at the origins of the nuclear family, and talk about how people today are panicking about the state of the family, while failing to propose any meaningful solutions for those who are most harmed by the nuclear unit—that is, women and children. Looking at the political potential baked into more expansive notions of kinship, we also discuss alternative ways of viewing community, love, and connection, suggesting that, given all we know today about the dangers of the nuclear family, feminists who really care about care ought to think bigger. This episode is totally free because we really want you to have it. If you find this episode helps you rethink family or feminism, please rate us on your podcast apps, share the episode with everyone you know and on your socials, and better yet, upgrade your subscription to support the next season of Dire Straights. We have been delivering timely, deeply researched, hour(s)-long episodes to your inbox twice a month for a whole year. Can you believe it? We produce, edit, and write this show all by ourselves. It’s been so fun, and enlightening, and we’ve been totally blown away by the support and buzz. We will be developing our next season this summer, and have some really exciting ideas in store. We won’t be releasing new episodes for a few weeks while we get season 2 ready, but just know that behind the scenes we are working hard to cook up some really good stuff for you. We’ll be back in August with some brand-new episodes. In the meantime, let us know what you most want to see us cover in season 2 either in the comments or by emailing direstraightspod@gmail.com. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

The sexual awakening that ends a marriage

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com [https://www.direstraightspod.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] Thanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live. This week, Tracy was joined by a special guest: Myisha Battle, a feminist sex and dating coach, and author of the newly released book Sexual Pleasure for Dummies [https://www.dummies.com/book/sexual-pleasure-for-dummies/]. It’s an inclusive, empathetic, and nuanced look at the role pleasure plays in our lives—and all the things that get in the way of it. You might remember Myisha from the Dire Straights [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/men-the-apps-the-mental-load] IRL event [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/men-the-apps-the-mental-load] that we did last year around the biggest complaints in hetero life right now. This time, we’re focusing on pleasure. Just a few topics we touched on: --stress and caregiving getting in the way of pleasure --why chore wheels show up in her coaching practice --men who prefer that their partners fake orgasms --avoiding the trap of pleasure becoming yet another form of work that women disproportionately do in hetero relationships --how porn has changed over the past decade, including the new intimate horizons of OnlyFans --what people are really looking for when they talk about “spontaneous” sex --the lie of being “vanilla” --kinky tradwives, milkmaid fantasies, and MAHA husbands drinking breastmilk --men refusing to wear condoms --people still not knowing about the clitoris! --women’s sexual awakenings blowing up marriages --using ChatGPT to decode a partner’s intentions, instead of just… asking them This recording is a special extra for paid subscribers, who make this podcast possible. Free subscribers will find a preview above, but you’ll have to upgrade to watch the whole thing [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe]. We’re also officially offering these Lives on all podcasting platforms if you prefer just the audio.

They sent my mom away to become a good wife

Tracy’s newest book, My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/My-Mothers-Daughter/Tracy-Clark-Flory/9781668083321], is out May 5th! It’s a memoir about how a DNA test connected Tracy with her sister Kathy, who her mom placed for adoption at a home for unwed mothers in the sixties. She set out to understand their mom’s past and stumbled on a bigger story about shame, family secrets, race, and the control of women’s bodies. In this episode, we have a behind-the-scenes chat about her memoir, including the story of how Tracy decided to take that DNA test. We also get into the book’s critique of heterosexuality, the disturbing history of homes for unwed mothers, patriarchal trauma, the importance of untangling all that we inherit from our mothers, “spiritually flailing” in the writing process, and how Tracy’s feeling publishing such an honest feminist book in an era of backlash and hyper-masculine authoritarianism. My Mother’s Daughter, BTW, has received starred reviews from both Booklist and Kirkus, which called it, “deeply researched and lyrically written,” “trenchant and moving,” and “a powerful rejection of white-male dominated systems of oppression.” The book has been described as “tender, revelatory, and deeply moving,” by one Amanda Montei. It’s also gotten glowing blurbs from Rebecca Traister [https://substack.com/profile/538307-rebecca-traister], Irin Carmon, Peggy Orenstein, Koa Beck [https://substack.com/profile/3282872-koa-beck], Chelsea Bieker [https://substack.com/profile/8452934-chelsea-bieker], Soraya Chemaly [https://substack.com/profile/328814-soraya-chemaly], Savala Nolan [https://substack.com/profile/16604658-savala-nolan], and lyz [https://substack.com/profile/7994-lyz] Lenz. My Mother’s Daughter is officially out Tuesday May 5, but preorders mean everything to a book’s success. So please go grab a copy now! [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/My-Mothers-Daughter/Tracy-Clark-Flory/9781668083321] While you’re at it, get one for your mom, your sister, maybe even a man in your life, because men should also read brilliant feminist memoirs written by women. And make sure to join Tracy at one of her upcoming IRL events: May 5: Launch day at Mrs. Dalloway’s in Berkeley, California with Alexis Madrigal. Reserve a spot here [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tracy-clark-florys-my-mothers-daughter-in-store-event-and-book-signing-tickets-1986144211803?aff=oddtdtcreator]. May 7: Books Are Magic in Brooklyn, New York with Irin Carmon. Register here [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/in-store-tracy-clark-flory-my-mothers-daughter-w-irin-carmon-tickets-1985454023431]. May 14: Green Apple Books in San Francisco, California with Savala Nolan. Register here [https://greenapplebooks.com/event/2026-05-14/9th-ave-tracy-clark-flory-savala-nolan]. May 15: Skylight Books in Los Angeles, California with Koa Beck. Register here [https://www.skylightbooks.com/event/skylight-tracy-clark-flory-presents-my-mothers-daughter-w-koa-beck]. Please rate us on your podcast apps and to share the episode with everyone you know, and on your socials. Especially this one. Help us make Tracy’s book a smash. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Why is feminism being blamed for everything?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com [https://www.direstraightspod.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] It’s not just the manosphere, MAGA, TERFs, or reactionary feminists who are hating on “2010s feminism” right now. Increasingly, liberals and centrists are getting in on the action. This growing feminist backlash claims that feminism has gone too far. That women have been made unhappy by progressive propaganda. That they’re being strong-armed into polyamory, casual sex, education, careerism, single-motherhood, and childlessness. Meanwhile, as we discussed in a past episode [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/the-anti-feminist-conspiracy-to-make], the Heritage Foundation is trying to use laws and public policy to strong-arm women into marriage, motherhood, and dependence on men. But never mind all that! The real threat, some say, is that feminists wrote some snarky blog posts in the 2010s. Don’t worry, this episode does not rehash the Adult Braces discourse, but we do discuss how the Lindy West pile-on is part of a broader feminist backlash that has been brewing for many years—one that folks across the political spectrum are branding as a reasonable and empowering middle-ground for women. The discourse is truly a mess out there, folks, but in this episode, we help you see the feminist forest for the trees. And while we’ve previously avoided confronting some of the more troubling arguments we’ve seen among liberal feminists—including, notably, on Substack—well, we’re over that. Behind the paywall, you’ll get our most candid thoughts on everything people are saying about feminism today. This is a paid episode. Free subscribers get a generous preview, but if you want the full, uncensored conversation, you will have to upgrade [http://direstraightspod.com/subscribe] to knock down the paywall. Paid subscribers make this podcast possible. If you care about the state of feminism, invest in our feminist podcast.

Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s mall

Remember the 90s? The Spice Girls were singing about girl power, and Britney Spears was asking someone to hit her one more time. Amanda was shopping at the Limited Too at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, while Tracy was sporting her Bebe shirt at a Bay Area mall, and possibly almost getting sex trafficked. Behind the scenes, Les Wexner was cooking up the Victoria’s Secret Angels campaign, soon to be followed by the company's teen PINK-stamped butt line, while his buddy Jeffrey Epstein was allegedly posing as a VS scout to lure girls and women [https://www.vogue.com/article/victorias-secret-and-jeffrey-epstein-explainer] for abuse. We know we’re not the only millennial women unpacking the now wide open secret of what 90s culture did to us. Bringing together everything we know now about the shitty men of that era who taught us all to hyper-sexualize little girls and lingerie-clad angels, in this episode we look back on our 90s girlhoods at the mall and beyond. We discuss what we learned then about gender, sex, bodies, beauty, and relationships with men. And we talk through how we’re deconstructing the lasting effects of 90s mall culture today. This episode is totally free, because we really want you to have it. But if you find this episode helps you to un-gaslight and free yourself even a little, please rate us on your podcast apps, share the episode in your group chats and on your socials, and join our Substack community as a paid subscriber. Paid subscriptions are the only reason we are able to make this show. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]