Done Pretending

The Emptiness You Feel at 50 Isn't Absence. It's Space.

There's a text message women send late at night when everyone else is asleep. It usually starts with "I should feel fine, but I don't." The promotion came through. The kids are launched. The marriage is stable. So why does it feel like nothing? I call it what it is: not a breakdown, but a breakthrough. Midlife doesn't take things away from you. It asks you to stop pretending that the things that were never really yours need to be carried. This episode dismantles the cultural lie that aging makes you less and replaces it with something truer: you're not fading, you're clarifying. If you've been making yourself smaller before anyone even asked you to, this one's for you. Key Timestamps:  [00:00:00] Introduction [00:01:15] The text that changed everything [00:04:30] Carl Jung and midlife [00:05:34] Inherited roles vs. chosen roles [00:10:19] When identity starts to fall away [00:10:56] The story culture tells women about aging [00:14:11] Why the “less” narrative is a lie [00:15:25] Women aren’t fading, they’re clarifying Memorable Quotes: "The most disorienting thing about midlife is not that you lose yourself. It's that you realize you've been performing yourself for so long that you forgot you had a choice." [00:09:43] – Susan Houston "You cannot always control what the world tells you about your worth, but you absolutely get to decide whether you repeat it to yourself." [00:17:18] – Susan Houston If you're ready to stop living inside old judgments and finally step into the life that actually feels like yours, join my Weekly Wisdom at www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com], where I share the shifts that helped me move beyond doubt and into the person I was always meant to be. Connect with Susan Houston: Website: www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com [about:blank]

Episode 25 | How Sobriety Forced Me to Stop Performing and Start Living

Amanda Wais thought she had it figured out. Marriage, motherhood, a career as a travel writer. Then her son was born with Down syndrome, and the doctor's words landed like a crack in the foundation of everything she'd been performing. What followed wasn't inspiration. It was survival, then reckoning, then something closer to freedom. This conversation goes to the places most people edit out. The drinking that masked fear of potential. The marriage that required her to disappear. The moment she realized her son was teaching her what authenticity actually looks like, one stranger at a time. Amanda doesn't tie it up neatly. She tells it like it happened: messy, raw, and still unfolding. If you've ever felt exhausted from pretending, or wondered what it costs to finally stop, this one will land. Key Timestamps:  [00:00:00] Introduction [00:04:30] The moment the doctor said "Down syndrome"   [00:11:20] The death of her travel writing career   [00:18:30] Drinking to avoid her own potential   [00:29:15] Winning the International Impact Book Award for her memoir   [00:33:50] Why she stopped her podcast   [00:38:20] Building community for writers who are afraid to tell the truth Memorable Quotes: [00:12:18] "Nobody else can write this, Amanda. Anybody else can travel to the ski hills and write about it. But nobody can write what's coming out for you." – Amanda Wais [00:20:45] "I was afraid of who I could become. I am becoming, if not already, a true leader in this world. And I know that my calling is great." – Amanda Wais [00:40:15] "When someone comes up to me and they're like, 'I'm thinking about writing my book. What's the first thing I do?' I say, 'Get in a community.'" – Amanda Wais  Connect with Amanda Wais: Amanda Wais is an international award-winning author, transformational speaker, author coach, and publisher devoted to rekindling authentic human connection through sharing our truth. Her memoir, Digging for Light, recently won the International Impact Book Awards for memoirs. She lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula with her son, who continues to teach her what real love and connection look like. Website: https://thecheekyscribe.com/ [https://thecheekyscribe.com/]  Email: cheeky@copperharborvitality.com  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amandak.wais/ [https://www.facebook.com/amandak.wais/]  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheeky.scribe/ [https://www.instagram.com/cheeky.scribe/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-wais-8805a6149/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-wais-8805a6149/] Connect with Susan Houston: Website: www.thesusanhouston.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

Episode 24 | When Silence Costs You Your Identity

Every time you stay silent to keep the peace, you teach people how to treat you. And somewhere along the way, between being a good wife, a devoted mother, and a reliable employee, you stopped recognizing yourself in the mirror. Irina Shehovsov, founder of Reclaim Your Life and author of “The Gift Inside,” knows this pattern intimately. She's built her work around helping women who've spent years molding themselves to fit everyone else's expectations, finally ask: What about me? In this conversation, we unpack the small, daily choices that erode identity, the lies we tell ourselves about timing and readiness, and why updating the software running your life matters more than upgrading your phone. This is about waking up to the fact that suffering is optional, and the life you're living right now is the result of decisions you made before, and not about blame. The question is: what will you decide next? Key Timestamps:  [00:00:00] Introduction [00:02:09] Women losing identity in roles [00:03:11] Cost of staying silent [00:07:45] Finding your people vs fitting in [00:08:20] Permission to choose yourself [00:10:52] Why “selfish” isn’t bad [00:12:24] Intentional morning routines [00:13:19] 10 minutes of daily joy [00:17:07] Lies about timing [00:18:56] Slowing down to be present [00:19:18] Breaking victim mindset [00:20:26] Your past isn’t your identity [00:22:47] Trauma replay loop [00:25:12] Updating life “software” [00:26:38] Expectations vs agreements [00:28:12] One decision to reclaim life Memorable Quotes: "We don't have to stay stuck. We don't have to create the life that happened. It's just a chapter. It doesn't have to be your life story." [00:20:26] – Irina Shehovsov "How often do you get an upgrade on your phone? Probably two, three times a month. But when was the last time you updated the software that's running your life?" [00:23:52] – Irina Shehovsov If this resonates with you, you can join my Weekly Wisdom at www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com], where I share how stepping out of destructive self-talk and old judgments can help you rebuild a life that actually feels like yours and move into the person you were always meant to be. Links Mentioned In This Episode: The Gift Inside Book: https://www.irinashehovsov.com/thegiftinside1 [https://www.irinashehovsov.com/thegiftinside1] Connect with Irina Shehovsov: Website: https://www.irinashehovsov.com/ [https://www.irinashehovsov.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/re.claimyourlife/ [https://www.instagram.com/re.claimyourlife/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@happinessacademy_ [https://www.youtube.com/@happinessacademy_] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irinashehovsov/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/irinashehovsov/] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@re.claimyourlife [https://www.tiktok.com/@re.claimyourlife] Connect with Susan Houston: Website: www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

Episode 23 | After 40, You’re Seasoned, Not Fading

A man-child in a coffee shop told me I was past my prime for launching a podcast. He cited "data" about brain elasticity and suggested I move fast before it's too late. I didn't slap him. But I didn't shrink either. This episode is for every woman who has been handed someone else's ceiling and told it was her floor. I unpack the myth of decline, the science of crystallized intelligence, and the audacity it takes to rebuild yourself when the world keeps whispering that your best years are behind you. Spoiler: they're not. Key Timestamps:  [00:00:00] Introduction [00:02:34] The audacity of unsolicited advice [00:05:05] Redefining "prime" [07:24:00] The data doesn't measure wisdom [00:10:06] Women who were "past their prime" [00:20:22] Declaration: I am not past my prime Memorable Quotes: "That data doesn't measure wisdom. It doesn't measure courage. It doesn't measure tenacity. And it doesn't measure what it takes to rebuild the real you." [00:06:56] – Susan Houston "You didn't just offend a woman who is past her prime. You son, you just lit a fire under a woman who's just getting started." [00:18:35] – Susan Houston If you’re ready to quiet the noise and step into who you’re meant to be, join my Weekly Wisdom at https://www.thesusanhouston.com [https://www.thesusanhouston.com].  And if you’re ready to go deeper? My masterclass, Chosen For More, is now open for enrollment.  Lastly, if this episode sparked something in you, catch me live at the Midlife on Fire Summit on April 29th at 10:55 AM, where we’ll dive even deeper. Click this link to register: https://go.eventraptor.com/summit/the-wealth-wellness-summit-2604/susanhouston2 [https://go.eventraptor.com/summit/the-wealth-wellness-summit-2604/susanhouston2]  Connect with Susan Houston: Website: https://www.thesusanhouston.com/ [https://www.thesusanhouston.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Produced by Evolved Podcasting: https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com [https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com]

Episode 21 | From Silenced to Celebrated: Reclaiming Your True Power

Sally Morgan couldn't make a sound in her recurring childhood nightmare. She screamed and screamed inside, but no voice came out. Years later, as an award-winning singer-songwriter and voice coach, she discovered that dream was a map to something most of us are still living: the suppression of our truest, brightest selves. This conversation isn't about finding your voice in the motivational poster sense, but what happens when you've been told your light is too much, your passion doesn't fit, your superpower makes others uncomfortable. Sally walks through the cost of that silence and the creative explosion that happens when teams, leaders, and individuals finally stop pretending. If you've ever felt like you're performing a version of yourself that isn't quite real, or if you lead people who seem to be holding something back, this episode will shift how you see power, presence, and what it actually means to command a room. Key Timestamps:  [00:00:00] Introduction [00:01:49] Keynote cabaret & music’s impact [00:03:44] Sally’s journey to speaker development [00:08:36] The nightmare that shaped her work [00:10:26] Discovering your hidden superpower [00:12:37] The cost of hiding your true self [00:15:21] Everyday superheroes & inner power [00:17:17] How vulnerability transforms teams [00:20:45] It takes all kinds of people [00:22:07] Owning being a “fabulous” woman [00:24:15] The masks we wear Memorable Quotes: "Music is that connection that is fun, and it takes some of the pressure off of them as an audience." [00:02:24] – Sally Morgan "Gone are the masks we used to wear, gone is the silence we used to bear." [00:24:10] – Sally Morgan And if you're ready to step out of doubt and into who you were always meant to be, join my Weekly Wisdom at www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com]. Connect with Sally Morgan: Instagram: https://instagram.com/singlikeyouspeak [https://instagram.com/singlikeyouspeak] Facebook: https://facebook.com/sally.morgan.1654 [https://facebook.com/sally.morgan.1654] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sallymorganvoice [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sallymorganvoice] Connect with Susan Houston: Website: www.thesusanhouston.com [http://www.thesusanhouston.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/ [https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/] Produced by Evolved Podcasting: https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com [https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com]