Death Cleaning Your Home Will Free Your Mind (Issue 186)
We’ve been in “Swedish death cleaning [https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/what-swedish-death-cleaning-should-you-be-doing-it-ncna816511]” mode for the last few weeks, and I have to say… I’m addicted to how it makes me feel!
I find myself getting rid of more and more stuff. I keep walking into the closets and rooms we have already decluttered and organized just to enjoy the way they look and feel now.
Another nice bonus? I’m rediscovering things I had forgotten or thought I had lost. Clothing, games, books, equipment, tools, etc.
It’s crazy. We already downsized a lot [https://newsletter.invinciblecareer.com/p/what-are-you-willing-to-sacrifice] when we moved here 10 years ago from a larger house. But we still have too much stuff.
So, the “death cleaning” mindset helps. Do we want our kids to be forced to deal with this stuff after we’re gone? Nope.
Do we really need all these things? Also nope.
For us, the more minimal [https://www.becomingminimalist.com/what-is-minimalism/] our lives become, the better we feel. The less we have to deal with, the more we buy back our precious time and mental bandwidth to make room for more valuable things in our lives.
In the book The High Price of Materialism [https://direct.mit.edu/books/monograph/2602/The-High-Price-of-Materialism] by Tim Kasser [https://www.timkasser.org/] (a psychologist), he explores how materialism and consumerism negatively affect our quality of life, our everyday happiness, and our psychological health. People with the goal of accumulating more and more wealth and material possessions face greater unhappiness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
It’s an important lesson for Americans in particular. From the day we are born, our capitalist society [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cant-buy-happiness/201403/what-causes-materialism-in-america] bombards us with messages about being a good little consumer who needs to buy more stuff to feel complete.
* You need to work harder and make more money!
* Why? So you can buy more stuff to show how successful you are.
* You've gotta keep up with the Joneses, or you’ll end up at the bottom of the neighborhood heap.
* You must buy all this crap to look better, look younger, feel better, and boost your status.
* Uh oh, is your house getting crowded with your profusion of possessions? No problem, rent a storage unit. Better yet, buy a bigger house! Or a second house!!!
We’re told that playing this game will make us feel successful and happy. But the research [https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-psych-122414-033344?originator=useradmin&identity=5131×tamp=20991231000000&signature=6d3d4c5f803cfe96e0326a1ab60582ca] does not support that. Sadly, it just makes us feel worse about ourselves and our lives. Tragically, we think buying even more will fix it, but we just end up digging a deeper hole.
The only way out is to reject all this nonsense and chart your own course [https://schedule.larrycornett.coach/]. And that begins with stepping away from the shopping cart and decluttering your home to give yourself physical and psychological breathing room.
Some advice from an elder
My wife has been trying to talk me into this decluttering process for years. But I was always “busy.” Spending my weekend cleaning felt like the last thing I wanted to do.
I was wrong! It feels so good to get rid of old stuff you no longer need. I only wish I had listened to her sooner. I feel like I’m learning many lessons from all of this, so I’ll share a few.
Take photos for the memories
If you’re like me, some objects trigger memories. That’s one reason I have trouble getting rid of possessions sometimes. It might be a gift from someone I love. I might remind me of playing with my children. Or, it might bring back memories of a wonderful vacation.
Now, I keep very few things and take photos of things that bring back happy memories. I don’t need the physical object, but I do enjoy remembering what the view of that object means to me.
Shred it when you get it
Ugh, we have so many boxes of paperwork from our work and lives. Some stuff can be tossed straight into paper recycling. But we have boxes of documents with confidential information that we need to shred before we can dispose of them.
Now, I keep a shredder near our incoming mail. We are trying to handle each piece of mail only once. Either it is something we need to deal with (e.g., pay a bill) or a document we can recycle or shred immediately. It’s so much easier to shred one or two documents at a time versus an entire box!
Eliminate paper if you can
Speaking of bills and confidential documents, we have been transitioning to paperless billing for years. That helps a lot! Most companies offer paperless billing, which you can specify in your account preferences (online or over the phone).
I’ve also started sorting mail as I walk back to our house. By the time I reach our driveway, I have a stack of junk mail and unwanted paper that I can toss into our recycling bin. Clutter can’t win if it doesn’t even make it inside!
Wipe old devices immediately
This issue is so painful for me since I worked in tech [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cornett/] for over 20 years. I have a ton of computers, phones, electronics, and other devices. Don’t even get me started about all the old cables, wires, and connectors!
I have a habit of upgrading and keeping the previous device for backup or travel. That means I keep all the old cables and connectors for that device, too. Unfortunately, I’m not great about getting rid of that old backup device when I upgrade again.
So, now I have some old computers, hard drives, game consoles, etc. that I can’t boot up to wipe and reset. To add insult to injury, it is really hard to get rid of old electronics here since they are treated like hazardous waste and our local donation centers are overflowing with them (maybe that’s a California thing due to all the tech folks here?).
Therefore, I highly recommend being good about wiping devices and donating or selling them while they still work and have value. Learn from my mistakes!
Throw pain away
Some of the stuff I’m cleaning up is bringing up bad memories from my past. I guess I tossed stuff into a box when we moved and thought I’d deal with it later. Well, now it’s later.
If something makes you feel sad or angry when you see it, toss it! I won’t go into the details, but I have some books, paperwork, gifts, etc. that make me unhappy when I remember a person involved, the situation, or what it represents. I’m being ruthless now about throwing those things into the recycling, donate, and trash boxes.
Give stuff to your children
We have some things that I think our children will value—if not now, in the future when they become parents with children of their own. We’ve been holding onto baby clothes, toys, books, games, etc. for almost 30 years! It’s time to let them go.
We take photos of those items and send them to our children so they can claim them before we donate or sell them. The clutter in our house is doing us no favors. Plus, it sometimes makes me sad to see those things and realize that time went by all too quickly. My babies are all grown adults now.
Wear it or forget it
I probably donated about 50% of my clothing about a month ago. I pulled everything out of my closet and dressers and put it all on my bed to review and try on.
I was ruthless! If I hadn’t worn something in years, it went into the donate box. If the clothing was from my past life (e.g., lots of suits for business travel), I accepted I am no longer that person and no longer need those clothes. Into the donate box.
Also, I counted out the number of socks, t-shirts, pants, shorts, etc. and asked myself, “How many of these do I really need since I can easily do laundry?” For example, I don’t need a two-month supply of socks! Two to three weeks’ worth is just fine.
A fun side effect of reducing my clothing is being able to see my options more easily now. I organized my closet and dresser by color, season, and style. I discovered clothes I had entirely forgotten about and started wearing them again. Walking into our newly organized closet puts a smile on my face.
The benefits
The obvious benefit is having a tidier home with less of the stuff you don’t need cluttering your daily life. Also, if you’re a parent, you are doing your children a big favor. We have experienced what it is like to clean up a home after someone passes away. It’s so overwhelming and sad. You don’t want your loved ones dealing with that after you are gone.
However, another benefit was mood improvement. I had no idea how much stress all of this was creating. Now I find myself walking into our decluttered rooms just for the joy of seeing the results. It seriously makes me happy! And my stress levels have dropped.
I’m discovering that daily life is becoming easier and more efficient, too. I’m creating a place for everything and putting everything in its place with better labeling and organization. No more searching every room and digging through closets and boxes to find that one thing I’m so certain must be there! It’s a huge timesaver and frustration reducer.
Your environment affects you in obvious and subtle ways. Clutter makes us feel stressed and unhappy, even if we don’t realize that’s what is causing it. You only notice it once you make a big change.
Now, the challenge will be to maintain this improved situation. We have already created a rule that something must go if we want something new [https://newsletter.invinciblelife.me/p/life-tip-consider-the-full-cost] to come into the house.
* If we want to buy a new board game, we must donate an old game.
* If someone wants new running shoes, an old pair must leave.
* A new book comes in, so an old book goes out.
* When we buy a new pan, we take an old one to the thrift store.
Supposedly, some people find the concept of “death cleaning” to be morbid. I don’t see it that way. There’s nothing wrong with being aware of your mortality and living your life to its fullest with that knowledge reminding you that the clock is ticking. And improving your daily life in your home is a great way to enjoy your life more now.
What strategies do you use to reduce clutter in your life? I would love to hear about in the comments!
Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.
➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me [https://schedule.larrycornett.coach/free-call]!
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