Let's Sit With This

10 Ways to Make Your Relationship Worse (And How to Stop) feat. Megan Secrest, LCSW

If you've ever felt stuck in the same argument, the same distance, the same pattern that never seems to change — this episode is for you. I'm joined by returning guest Megan Secrest, LCSW, EMDR Certified therapist, and owner of Gift of Grit Counseling here in Edmond, Oklahoma. Megan is pursuing certification in Relational Life Therapy — a couples model developed by Terry Real that is refreshingly honest, a little unconventional, and genuinely effective. We dig into Terry Real's five losing strategies from The New Rules of Marriage, walk through Megan's viral post "10 Fantastic Ways to Get Less of What You Want in Your Relationships," and talk about what's actually happening underneath the patterns that push people away — and what to do instead. This one is for anyone in a relationship of any kind. You don't have to be in crisis for this to be useful. In this episode: * What Relational Life Therapy is and how it's different from other couples models * The five losing strategies and what's underneath each one * Why skills don't work until you do the deeper work first * How to make requests instead of complaints — and why it changes everything * The difference between withdrawal and responsible distance taking * What to do when your partner isn't on board Resources mentioned: * The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-new-rules-of-marriage-terrence-real/b3d9771ef30649ef?ean=9780345480866&next=t] * The Feedback Wheel/How To Complain Effectively [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79bbVhkZpAg] * Fair Fighting Rules [https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/fair-fighting-rules] * Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real — available on Spotify Premium [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Bx4GuAkCeT0kcieYy01me] * The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-expanded-third-edition-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond-patricia-evans/c62e2ecaf201e9e5?ean=9781440504631&next=t] * 7 Types of Rest/How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-keep-house-while-drowning-a-gentle-approach-to-cleaning-and-organizing-kc-davis-lpc/3860ae513f2a8b9c?ean=9781668002841&next=t] * Find an RLT therapist [https://directory.relationallife.com/] * Megan Secrest, LCSW — Gift of Grit Counseling: www.giftofgritcounseling.com | @giftofgritcounseling on social Let's Sit With This is hosted by Kristen Callaway, LMFT — a licensed therapist in Edmond, OK. Got a topic or question for the podcast? Submit it here [https://forms.gle/f2rfGVK3EeX9HMUc7] Find me here: Website: seekingpeaceok.com Instagram & Facebook: @seekingpeacecounseling If this podcast has been helpful, following or subscribing helps more people find it. And if a specific episode resonated — sharing it with someone you care about goes a long way. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or contact your local crisis line.

Monday Growth Moment: The Myth of Starting Over

Monday Growth Moment is back for a special episode — and this one isn't just about running. Last year I trained for and ran two marathons. Then I got injured, burned out, and barely exercised for months. And when I thought about getting back into it, it felt like a burden. Heavy. Overwhelming. Like something I had to do instead of something I got to do. So I waited. I let the passion come back on its own. And a few weeks ago it did. Now I'm three weeks back into running — slower pace, achy ankles, short runs — and I've had to actively apply something I tell my clients all the time: you cannot go back to square one. Square one doesn't exist. In this episode I talk about the myth of starting over, what marathon training did to my baseline expectations, and why a pause or a break doesn't erase what you've built. We're never starting over. We're just returning to the main trail with more in our pack than we had before. You don't have to be a runner for this one. We all have our version of this. Find me on Instagram and Facebook @seekingpeacecounseling. If this episode resonated, leaving a review means the world and helps more people find this space. Let's Sit With This is hosted by Kristen Callaway, LMFT — a licensed therapist in Edmond, OK. Got a topic or question for the podcast? Submit it here [https://forms.gle/f2rfGVK3EeX9HMUc7] Find me here: Website: seekingpeaceok.com Instagram & Facebook: @seekingpeacecounseling If this podcast has been helpful, following or subscribing helps more people find it. And if a specific episode resonated — sharing it with someone you care about goes a long way. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or contact your local crisis line.

The Therapist's Bookshelf: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

This month on The Therapist's Bookshelf, I'm rereading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb [https://bookshop.org/p/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-a-therapist-her-therapist-and-our-lives-revealed-lori-gottlieb/42d2cebc077aecbd?ean=9781328662057&next=t] — and honestly, I loved it just as much the second time around. Cried in the same spots. Laughed out loud in the same spots. That's just good writing. Gottlieb is a therapist who ends up in therapy herself, and the book follows both her work with her clients and her own experience sitting in the client chair. The dual narrative structure is unlike anything I've read, and the way she makes the therapeutic relationship feel human and real — without dramatizing it or making it a sales pitch — is something I think everyone needs to experience. In this episode I share what stood out to me as both a therapist and a client, why the relationship with your therapist matters more than most people realize, and why I wish everyone on this planet would read this book. If you've been on the fence — get off the fence, friend. This episode pairs with a personal episode I recorded about my own therapy journey — already out now, go listen. Next month we're reading The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-new-rules-of-marriage-terrence-real/b3d9771ef30649ef?ean=9780345480866&next=t] — and we'll have a special guest joining me for that episode. Go grab your copy. Let's Sit With This is hosted by Kristen Callaway, LMFT — a licensed therapist in Edmond, OK. Got a topic or question for the podcast? Submit it here [https://forms.gle/f2rfGVK3EeX9HMUc7] Find me here: Website: seekingpeaceok.com Instagram & Facebook: @seekingpeacecounseling If this podcast has been helpful, following or subscribing helps more people find it. And if a specific episode resonated — sharing it with someone you care about goes a long way. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or contact your local crisis line.

What They Don't Tell You About the Therapy Journey

I'm a therapist. I know how this is supposed to work. And I still had to learn every hard lesson myself — sitting in that chair as a client, just like everyone else does. This episode is personal. Inspired by this month's Therapist's Bookshelf book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb [https://bookshop.org/p/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-a-therapist-her-therapist-and-our-lives-revealed-lori-gottlieb/42d2cebc077aecbd?ean=9781328662057&next=t], I'm sharing my own therapy journey — the real one. Five therapists over 13 years. The ones that helped, the ones that didn't, the year I spent "waiting" for the perfect therapist (spoiler: that was avoidance), and the deep trauma work that has changed my life. If you've tried therapy and quit, or you've been putting it off — this one is for you. The hard parts of the therapy journey are usually the signs it's working. If this episode resonated, leaving a review means the world and helps more people find this space. Let's Sit With This is hosted by Kristen Callaway, LMFT — a licensed therapist in Edmond, OK. Got a topic or question for the podcast? Submit it here [https://forms.gle/f2rfGVK3EeX9HMUc7] Find me here: Website: seekingpeaceok.com Instagram & Facebook: @seekingpeacecounseling If this podcast has been helpful, following or subscribing helps more people find it. And if a specific episode resonated — sharing it with someone you care about goes a long way. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or contact your local crisis line.

The Therapist's Bookshelf: Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl

This month on The Therapist's Bookshelf, we're reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl [https://bookshop.org/p/books/man-s-search-for-meaning-viktor-e-frankl/f040ee34581bdc92?ean=9780807014271&next=t] — and it's one of those books that's genuinely hard to summarize because the message hits differently depending on where you are in your own life. Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camps and came out the other side more convinced than ever about the human capacity to find meaning — even in suffering. In this episode I share what stood out to me as a therapist, why this book matters for anyone doing healing work, and how the question of "why did this happen to me" can slowly shift into something more livable. This is not a light read. But it might be exactly what you need. Next month we're reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb [https://bookshop.org/p/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-a-therapist-her-therapist-and-our-lives-revealed-lori-gottlieb/42d2cebc077aecbd?ean=9781328662057&next=t] — get your copy and read along. Let's Sit With This is hosted by Kristen Callaway, LMFT — a licensed therapist in Edmond, OK. Got a topic or question for the podcast? Submit it here [https://forms.gle/f2rfGVK3EeX9HMUc7] Find me here: Website: seekingpeaceok.com Instagram & Facebook: @seekingpeacecounseling If this podcast has been helpful, following or subscribing helps more people find it. And if a specific episode resonated — sharing it with someone you care about goes a long way. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or contact your local crisis line.