Personal Growth Sucks

S5 Ep5: Grieving Losses from our Past

On this episode I dive into the experience of processing 'little g' grief by sharing a personal story from my childhood—missing out on a fifth-grade skating party. What seems like a small, insignificant memory on the surface is actually a powerful example of how unprocessed grief from early life can still impact us today. I walk you through my six-step grief process, showing how old emotions, like shame and inadequacy, can linger in our adult lives if left unaddressed. The episode highlights how reclaiming power from past memories is possible through intentional grief work. Whether you’re working through small childhood disappointments or other unresolved emotions, this episode offers a practical guide for anyone wanting to heal past hurts and move forward in strength. Listeners are given tools to navigate their own 'little g' grief and reclaim energy lost to these old wounds. Here are links that might be helpful: * Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/free-download] * ⁠⁠⁠Schedule a free coaching session with Erin⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/schedule] * Personal Growth Sucks on⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/personalgrowthsucks/] and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/KinzelConsulting/] Some resources that helped me with content for this episode: 5 Ways for Adults to Heal Their Childhood Grief [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202205/5-ways-for-adults-to-heal-their-childhood-grief] Delayed Grief: When Grief Shows Up Later [https://www.talkspace.com/blog/delayed-grief/] When Will I Stop Feeling Sad About My Childhood [https://anniewright.com/when-will-i-stop-feeling-sad-about-my-childhood/] The Many Masks of Unresolved Grief [https://www.themeadows.com/blog/the-many-masks-of-unresolved-grief/]

S5 Ep4 - Types of Grief

Welcome to Episode 4 of Season 5, where we are exploring “little g” grief, a process that helps us honor our everyday disappointments and frustrations. My goal for this season is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck. On this episode I’m talking about 11 different types of “little g” grief. The purpose of sharing these types of grief isn’t so we can perfectly diagnose our grief when it happens. The reason I want to share all these types of grief is to expand our vocabulary and our awareness of the many ways grief can show up in our lives. My goal is to invite curiosity about where grief might be hiding in our day, so we can honor our losses, make space for what we need, and decide how we have power to move forward.  One thing I especially want to note - no matter what type of grief you are dealing with, the process for moving through it will always be the same. Check out episode 2 of this season for an in depth look at the grief process. Here are the 11 types of grief I talk about in this episode: Event-based – This type of grief occurs when something unexpected happens, forcing you to redirect time, energy, and resources.   Example: A car accident, getting sick, your credit card being stolen, or your dog running away. Anticipatory – The mental and emotional toll of preparing for an upcoming change, loss, or difficult situation.   Example: You know there are budget cuts coming at work that will affect the team you manage. Cumulative – Grief from small, individual losses that may not seem significant on their own, but together become overwhelming.   Example: A day with no sunshine, bad news about a war, a flat tire, a failed work presentation, and realizing you forgot to turn on the crockpot for dinner. Identity – The grief we feel when a part of who we are, or who we’ve always seen ourselves to be, is changing or being lost.   Examples: Graduating college, becoming a parent, or transitioning to retirement. Relational – Grief that stems from changes or losses in relationships.   Examples: A good friend moves away, a friend disappoints you, or you decide to end an unhealthy relationship. Structural – When the systems and routines in our lives change, causing a loss of stability and predictability.   Examples: The COVID-19 pandemic, moving to a new office, getting a new coworker, or your kids changing to a different school. Chronic – Grief that comes from ongoing situations that you wish were different but cannot change.   Example: Struggling with unhealthy family of origin relationships. Ambiguous – A loss that is difficult to fully define or explain.   Example: The emotional difficulty you may feel during the holiday season without a clear reason why. Collective – Grief that affects a large group over time, even if it doesn’t immediately or directly impact you.   Examples: War, natural disasters, the death of a beloved celebrity, or tragedies like the death of George Floyd. Projected – A loss that doesn’t directly involve you but deeply affects you emotionally.   Example: A child in your community dies in a car accident, and though you don’t know them personally, it feels like your own loss. Bittersweet – Grief from positive changes that also bring loss or require adjustments.   Example: Moving into a new house that you love but having to pack, adjust to a new neighborhood, and change your daily routines. Here are links that might be helpful: Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/free-download] ⁠⁠⁠Schedule a free coaching session with Erin⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/schedule] Personal Growth Sucks on⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/personalgrowthsucks/] and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/KinzelConsulting/]

S5 Ep3 - Grieving the Loss of the Ideal

Welcome to Episode 3 of Season 5, where we are exploring “little g” grief, a process that helps us honor our everyday disappointments and frustrations. My goal for this season is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck. On this episode I’m talking about grieving the loss of the ideal - both the internal ideal (our ideal version of ourselves) and the external ideal (ways we wish people and circumstances would be ideal).  As part of the episode, I walk through a recent way that I had to grieve the loss of the ideal and I take you through my grief process. I shared this process in depth in the last episode, and I hope it will be helpful to hear it again with a real world example. Here is the grief process in writing: 1. Name what you are hoping for. Think about the experience or the thing that you want. What is the view of reality that you wish would happen? What would it mean for you if that were true? What would perfection look like? 2. Name what you are actually experiencing - what is reality? What are some specific ways that you've experienced this reality? What does it mean for this to be your reality? 3. Name what has happened in the gap between what you hope for and what you are experiencing. What is the loss? What are all the ways this loss affects you? Naming these helps you see the real impact so you can honor what you've lost. 4. Name what you are feeling as a result of the loss. This can be difficult if you are used to suppressing and ignoring your feelings. You may need to practice awareness and presence with your feelings. Something that might help you identify your feelings is looking at a feelings wheel. Once you identify what you are feeling, you actually need to spend time feeling the feeling. :) Try to get out of your head, where this is simply an intellectual exercise, and allow yourself to experience the pain and discomfort of difficult emotions.  5. Now, we move to the parts of this process that allow you to reclaim energy and power, which includes creating a statement of acceptance. This will help you let go of the things you can’t control (including other people’s attitudes, beliefs, decisions, and actions) and take power over the things you can control. Write out your statement of acceptance with these four parts: 1. Your hopeful statement - how you wish it would be  2. Name the actual reality - the way it really is 3. Express what you are letting go of. especially acknowledging what you can't control) 4. Give a statement of acceptance, especially acknowledging the reality of what this means for you 6. The final step is to decide how you will live in light of reality. If your statement of acceptance is true, then how will you decide to move forward in power? Here are links that might be helpful: Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/free-download] ⁠⁠⁠Schedule a free coaching session with Erin⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/schedule] Personal Growth Sucks on⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/personalgrowthsucks/] and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/KinzelConsulting/] Big Rocks Video [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV3gMTOEWt8] Self-Compassion Exercises [https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/] from Dr. Kristin Neff

S5 Ep2: How to Reclaim Energy and Process "Little g" Grief

Welcome to Season 5, where we are exploring “little g” grief a process that helps us honor our everyday disappointments and frustrations. My goal for this season is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck. Today I share some of the reasons why grief is important, talk about ways this has impacted my life, and walk you through the grief process that I created for myself and my clients. Here is the grief process in writing, be sure to listen to the episode for examples and info on how to apply this: 1. Name what you are hoping for. Think about the experience or the thing that you want. What is the view of reality that you wish would happen? What would it mean for you if that were true? What would perfection look like? 2. Name what you are actually experiencing - what is reality? What are some specific ways that you've experienced this reality? What does it mean for this to be your reality? 3. Name what has happened in the gap between what you hope for and what you are experiencing. What is the loss? What are all the ways this loss affects you? Naming these helps you see the real impact so you can honor what you've lost. 4. Name what you are feeling as a result of the loss. This can be difficult if you are used to suppressing and ignoring your feelings. You may need to practice awareness and presence with your feelings. Something that might help you identify your feelings is looking at a feelings wheel. Once you identify what you are feeling, you actually need to spend time feeling the feeling. :) Try to get out of your head, where this is simply an intellectual exercise, and allow yourself to experience the pain and discomfort of difficult emotions.  5. Now, we move to the parts of this process that allow you to reclaim energy and power, which includes creating a statement of acceptance. This will help you let go of the things you can’t control (including other people’s attitudes, beliefs, decisions, and actions) and take power over the things you can control. Write out your statement of acceptance with these four parts: 1. Your hopeful statement - how you wish it would be  2. Name the actual reality - the way it really is 3. Express what you are letting go of. especially acknowledging what you can't control) 4. Give a statement of acceptance, especially acknowledging the reality of what this means for you 6. The final step is to decide how you will live in light of reality. If your statement of acceptance is true, then how will you decide to move forward in power? Here are links that might be helpful: Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/free-download] ⁠⁠⁠Schedule a free coaching session with Erin⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/schedule] Personal Growth Sucks on⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/personalgrowthsucks/] and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/KinzelConsulting/] The Feelings Wheel [https://feelingswheel.com/]

S5 Ep1 - Introduction to Good Grief

Welcome to Season 5, where we will be exploring “good grief.” Today’s episode is an introduction to the type of everyday grief I’ll be talking about, like what happens when a flat tire ruins your day. I also introduce some of the concepts associated with it including the “power process,” open grief loops, defensive hope, and protest mode. My overall goal is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck. Here are links that might be helpful: ⁠⁠⁠Schedule a free coaching session with Erin⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/schedule] Personal Growth Sucks on⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/personalgrowthsucks/] and⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/KinzelConsulting/] Learn more about Relational Nutrients [https://www.personalgrowthsucks.com/my-blog/categories/my-top-5]