Real Over Ideal

The Second Wind Phenomenon

In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin dives into the science behind the second wind phenomenon and how understanding your circadian rhythms can help you harness your natural energy peaks. Learn practical strategies to create earlier moments of safety and unclench your nervous system for increased daytime productivity. * The biological basis of the second wind and circadian rhythms * How and why your brain experiences a surge of energy late at night * Practical techniques to shift renewal moments earlier in your day  * Understanding safety cues that help your nervous system relax * Creating micro moments of calm to optimize daytime alertness * How to balance evening energy surges with next-day productivity In this episode: * What the second wind phenomenon is and the science behind it * Why your brain feels alert and clear in late hours without external demands * The hidden cost of late-night energy and how it affects tomorrow’s energy * Techniques for inducing an earlier "unclench" moment to improve daytime focus * How to recreate quiet, demand-free environments earlier in the day  * The importance of safety signals like exhaling longer, small wins, and routines * Real-world advice for those experiencing peak energy at unconventional times * The mental shift from blame to understanding your natural rhythms     Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

Doubt as a super power: Motivational Interviewing

In this episode, host Vanessa Gorelkin describes how doubt can be harnessed to create a powerful path towards reaching our most important goals. As a follow up to the Motivation episode: learn about a technique that is used to help people with addiction, weight management, exercise goals and much more, called Motivational Interviewing. This episode provides some starting instruction in this powerful process so that you can experience the power of turning ambivalence into action.  Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

Is Internal Family Systems Bullsh*t ?

Title: Unpacking Internal Family Systems: Benefits, Critiques, and Practical InsightsIn this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), sharing her personal experiences, scientific findings, common critiques, anda practical exercise. Whether you're a practitioner, client, or simply curious about this approach, you'll find valuable insights into how IFS can support healing and self-understanding.Key Topics: * The principles behind Internal Family Systems: parts, self, and internal leadership * Vanessa's personal experiences and how IFS fosters breakthroughs * The controversy: critiques around research, metaphor reliance, and trauma oversimplification * Scientific evidence supporting IFS: PTSD reduction, emotional regulation, and empowerment * The response to critiques: research limitations, the role of imagery, and trauma complexity * Practical demonstration: a safe, simple IFS exercise for self-awareness * How to assess a therapist's use of IFS and avoid potential misuse  * The importance of applying IFS within a broader, trauma-informed context * The potential for transformation when used ethically and skillfully Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

How to Handle a Panic Attack like a boss

How to Truly Handle a Panic Attack-- Practical Neuroscience-Based Strategies In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin debunks common misconceptions about panic attacks and anxiety, sharing evidence-based techniques rooted in neuroscience. If you've struggled with ineffective calming methods online, this guide provides clear, practical advice for interrupting and managing panic in the real world. Key Topics: * The fundamental difference between panic attacks and anxiety, including neurocircuitry distinctions * Why traditional methods like deep breathing and talking it out often fail during panic attacks * The role of the amygdala and hippocampus in panic, and how their interaction fuels the crisis * Top down versus bottom up intervention strategies: why body-focused techniques are faster * Practical protocols for physiological interruption, including grounding, cold water, humming, and more * Why meditation is counterproductive during panic and best used preventively * Why many well-meaning mental health professionals mismanage panic and how to recognize effective practices   Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]

The Chihuaha Effect

The Tiny Moments That Make a Big Difference: The Chihuahua Effect In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores how simple acts of kindness and moments of silliness can create ripple effects of joy and connection. She shares personal stories, emphasizes the importance of small gestures, and offers practical ways to spread positivity daily. It's a reminder that sometimes, the tiniest actions have the most profound impact on both others and ourselves. Key Topics: * The power of small, spontaneous moments of joy * How sharing a laugh or being silly can regulate your nervous system * The concept of the Chihuahua Effect: tiny moments with big emotional impact * The role of everyday kindness as emotional probiotics * Practical ways to pay forward positivity, even in small gestures * The importance of connecting and softening with others during tough times * Why joy is a practice, not a personality trait * How to start creating more joyful moments, regardless of mood Click here to get in touch [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2499439/fan_mail/new] Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here: https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab [https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab] If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467]