Soul Bruises

Episode 25 - Interview with Former 2x2 Member Steve Hegyi - The Church With No Name But Plenty of Rules

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/fan_mail/new] The Two Books mentioned in the interview: "Preserving the Truth: The Church without a Name and Its Founder, William Irvine"  by Cherie Kropp-Ehrig  "The Truth About The Truth" by Mary Ann Schoeff ********************************************************************************** A church that refuses a name can still demand your whole identity.  Steve Hegyi joins me to describe what it’s like to grow up inside the Two by Two religion (also known as the 2x2s, the Truth, or the Way) and slowly realize that what you were taught was “faithfulness” often functions as spiritual abuse, coercive control, and enforced silence. We walk through the practical mechanics that keep the system running: private home meetings, traveling “workers” who hold spiritual authority, overseers who steer decisions, and a culture with no formal creed and little written accountability.  Steve explains how secrecy works socially and spiritually, why questions are treated as danger, and how gossip can become a quiet form of discipline. He also shares the pressure families feel to perform perfection, especially when workers stay in their home, and how that performance shapes kids, friendships, and emotional development. Then we get honest about the deeper costs, especially for men formed by patriarchy. Steve describes expectations around leadership, control, and emotional suppression, including how anger can be normalized while vulnerability is shamed. We also name red flags like lack of transparency, cover up culture, and harmful responses to abuse, and we talk about what healing looks like after leaving: learning grace instead of earning, rebuilding relationships, practicing accountability, and finding a faith that’s allowed to be curious. If you’re navigating religious trauma, faith deconstruction, or recovery from a high control church, I think Steve’s clarity will help you feel less alone. "Be Human,  Be Kind,  Be Both."

Episode 24 - Interview with Artist & Author David Hayward (The Naked Pastor) - Capturing Truth in a Single Frame

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/fan_mail/new] FYI: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS A SMALL SECTION OF EXPLICIT CONTENT IN REGARDS TO SEXUAL ABUSE. *FOR VIEWING PODCAST - YOUTUBE VIDEO LINK (Advantages: Artwork is shown when it is being described) https://youtu.be/Etc_Gxr-6IQ [https://youtu.be/Etc_Gxr-6IQ] DAVID'S WEBSITES www.nakedpastor.com [http://www.nakedpastor.com/] His main site where you can find his cartoons and his blog www.thelastingsupper.com [http://www.thelastingsupper.com/] His online community  DAVID'S BOOKS Adult books: Questions are the Answer, The Liberation of Sophia, Til Doubt Do Us Part, Money is Spiritual, The Art of Coming Out, The Lasting Supper - Letters for Deconstruction, Without a Vision My People Prosper Children's book: The Rainbow Sheep Cartoon books: Flip It Like This & Naked Pastor 101 DAVID'S SOCIAL MEDIA Look for "Naked Pastor" on Instagram DESCRIPTION OF PODCAST A single frame can say what a thousand sermons won’t. That’s the power David “Naked Pastor” Hayward brings to the table as we explore spiritual abuse, religious trauma, and the radical courage it takes to tell the truth with humor and heart. David shares how a decades‑long journey from pulpit to pen sharpened his eye for systems that control, how cartoons validate the wounded at a glance, and why critiques of the church are not betrayal but care for the community it could be. We trace the invisible contours of harm—sermons turned into weapons, authority used to silence, group pressure passed off as discipleship—and talk about the moment survivors realize their “soul bruises” are real. David walks us through the images that resonated worldwide: Sophia’s scarred spirit, Jesus erasing the lines we draw, and the gut-punch panel where leaders say, “It’s not that we don’t believe you. It’s that we don’t care.” Humor becomes a scalpel, not a sledgehammer, opening space for reflection without letting power off the hook. He also pulls back the curtain on his process, from sensitivity checks with diverse friends to the ongoing work of unlearning bias. We dig into why systems drift toward dehumanization, how denial and silence protect brands over bodies, and what it takes to rebuild a life after leaving a toxic church. David’s answer is both practical and hopeful: cultivate spiritual independence while choosing interdependence, seek communities that honor dignity without control, and keep curiosity alive. He founded The Lasting Supper as a safe, diverse space for people rethinking faith to be fully seen without a new gatekeeper. If you’ve wondered whether you’re allowed to name what happened, or you’re searching for belonging without surrendering your agency, this conversation meets you where you are. If the episode speaks to you, share it with someone who needs language for their pain, subscribe for more soul-honest conversations, and leave a review so others can find the show. Your voice helps build healthier, more compassionate communities. "Be Human,  Be Kind,  Be Both."

Episode 23 - My Response to the Documentary: "Evil Influencer - The Jodi Hildebrandt Story"

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/fan_mail/new] SHOW NOTES: Evil Influencer: The Jodi Hildebrandt Story Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjsVQIepZw [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjsVQIepZw] Dark Truth Behind Netflix’s ‘Evil Influencer: The Jodi Hildebrandt Story Law & Crime Network https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPipALF5glc [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPipALF5glc] Was Ruby Franke Brainwashed? - Jodi Hildebrandt's Tactics Dissected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvvgHlPZFrM [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvvgHlPZFrM] Some stories shock because they’re new; this one shocks because it feels familiar. We dig into how a therapist wrapped control in spiritual language, turned doubt into “distortion,” and built a closed system where obedience looked like healing and disagreement looked like moral failure. Using the Jodi Hildebrandt documentary as a case study, we trace the slow creep from guidance to coercion and outline the subtle tells—language shifts, isolation, and financial pressure—that signal spiritual abuse long before the headlines. We walk through the backstory of Connexions, the promise of moral clarity, and the way binaries like truth versus distortion hollow out a person’s inner compass. You’ll hear how clients were nudged to distrust their own signals, cut off outside support, and accept “loving correction” as proof the process worked. Along the way, we connect these patterns to tactics common in high-control religious spaces: information control, shunning, and leader-centric authority dressed up as care. The goal isn’t to sensationalize; it’s to name the playbook so you can recognize it early—whether it shows up in therapy, church, parenting advice, or coaching. We also offer practical tools to test any authority: Who can ask questions here? What happens when someone disagrees? Are fees and expectations transparent? Does this space invite dialogue and referrals, or does it monopolize trust? Healthy authority connects rather than isolates, welcomes feedback, and never asks you to abandon yourself to belong. If your body says something is off, that signal matters. Your worth isn’t measured by compliance, and choosing truth over loyalty is not a failure—it’s healing. Listen, reflect, and share this conversation with someone who needs language for what they’ve felt but couldn’t name. "Be Human,  Be Kind,  Be Both."

Episode 22 - Your Nervous System Is Not Sinning; It Is Protecting You! - Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn through Spiritual Abuse

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/fan_mail/new] FREEZE YouTube Video of Bobi Gephart confronting Pastor John Lowe II  (13:39) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4Sh2-Peefo [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4Sh2-Peefo] FIGHT YouTube Video of "Remembering Jennifer Lyell" (5:37) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7ekxdMchxA [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7ekxdMchxA] FLIGHT Who are the 2 x 2's? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83DZdzxpR84  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83DZdzxpR84 ](Short Version - 1:58) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o_vTxBShFA [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o_vTxBShFA] (Long Version - 16:10) FAWN Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQopCn4MFwM [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQopCn4MFwM] (10:52) The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill Podcast (Episode 1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cou36nSmJY [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cou36nSmJY] "When Religion Hurts You" Dr. Laura Anderson What is Religious Trauma? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjdBoBOhXvA [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjdBoBOhXvA] (short clip) 4 Trauma Responses (Dr. Alex Howard) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQDRrs-a8A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQDRrs-a8A] (6:28) *************************************************************************************************This episode of Soul Bruises explains how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn show up in faith spaces and why they are survival, not sin. We share real stories, practical regulation tools, and a path from shame to curiosity so survivors can rebuild safety, voice, and trust. • defining spiritual abuse and the autonomic nervous system • clear explanations of fight, flight, freeze and fawn • how churches mislabel trauma responses as moral failings • scenarios that map all four responses in a church conflict • whistleblowing, delayed disclosure and high control groups • tend and befriend versus fawning and why it matters • practical regulation skills and boundary setting • moving from survival to healing with supportive community • recommended reading: When Religion Hurts You by Dr Laura Anderson You can reach me at soulbruises@gmail.com or send me a message on Instagram at SoulBruises2023 "Be Human,  Be Kind,  Be Both."

Episode 21 - Interview with Pastor Kayleigh Clark - Restoring the Flock: God’s Blueprint for Healing After Collective Trauma

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/fan_mail/new] In this podcast episode with our guest, Pastor & scholar Kayleigh Clark we  explore how collective trauma reshapes churches, why language and listening matter, how sometimes the first step of finding healing a church is about asking the right questions, and how new shepherds can gather what harm scattered. She shares a path from lament to restoration with trauma-informed ministry, empathetic witness, and patient trust-building. Additional topics, references, website & terms mentioned below. • Defining collective trauma and loss of communality • The body of Christ keeps the score as a diagnostic lens • COVID’s disruption, decision fatigue, and grief in congregations • Betrayal trauma and why defenses form around leaders • Jeremiah 23, negligent shepherds, and God’s new shepherds • Using careful, descriptive language before hard labels • Pastors’ secondary traumatic stress and pastoral self-care • After-pastors, church splits, and rebuilding safety • Theology that heals vs theologies that harm and shame • Shifting diagnosis from behaviors to “what happened to us” • Revitalization & Reformation.... with Restoration as a third path to consider • Lament, middle-space testimonies, and empathetic witnessing • Reading scriptures through the eyes of the sufferer • Practical methods to restore trust and communality YOUTUBE EPISODE LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rREm75DGcgk [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rREm75DGcgk] Check out Restor(y) resources at restorycenter.com Restor(y) is a nonprofit founded by Pastor Kayleigh Clark whose mission is to accompany churches through healing, restoration, and wholeness  Link to article of "New Shepherds For A Hurting Church https://www.restorycenter.com/blog/new-shepherds-for-a-hurting-church [https://www.restorycenter.com/blog/new-shepherds-for-a-hurting-church] A Theological Framework for Religious Trauma (Short Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSIpj-NhhnA [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSIpj-NhhnA]  Kayleigh's Blog on Restor(y) https://www.restorycenter.com/blog [https://www.restorycenter.com/blog] Jeremiah 23  NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/search=Jeremiah%2023&version=NIV [https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%2023&version=NIV]  TERMS Secondary Trauma  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_trauma [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_trauma]   DARVO is an acronym that describes a common pattern of behavior used by individuals—often abusers or manipulators—when they are confronted about their harmful actions. It stands for: D – Deny, A – Attack, RVO – Reverse Victim and Offender Soul Bruises Episode on DARVO https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/episodes/16013641 [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/episodes/16013641]  Collective trauma happens when a whole community or group of people goes through something deeply painful or disruptive—like abuse, conflict, disaster, or loss—and it impacts not just individuals, but the relationships, trust, and identity of the entire group. Betrayal trauma refers to the psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a profound violation of trust or safety by a person or system they depend on for protection, care, or support. Communality refers to the quality or state of sharing things in common — a sense of belonging, mutual responsibility, and connection within a group or community  "Be Human,  Be Kind,  Be Both."