The Alchemy of Pain

EPISODE 48 - Santa Claus: The Message is Love

"Santa! I love you!" Those words, yelled out by a random car passenger driving past him brought clarity to a man whose white beard and demeanor immediately evoked the classic image of Santa Claus. He'd been praying about "what to do with all this." Playing the role at Christmas was one avenue he pursued, but the whole "ho ho ho" and commercialism didn't fulfill his spirit. "Santa! I love you!" Something about those words resonated. He went to the courthouse the very next day and had his name officially changed. "Having the name Santa Claus makes my work as an advocate for children more effective." That work; his life's purpose, as is often the case in this podcast series, emanated from his own painful childhood. An overweight child with a disability, he was bullied. And he determined that one day he would stand up for children who couldn't protect themselves. Santa lives in North Pole, Alaska (which is different from The North Pole), and the essence of his message is love: "We can't save people. But we can love them." You'll feel the love throughout this interview, with encouragement to ask for help and laugh more - and how the dark times help us appreciate the light even more. Learn more about Santa Claus at www.santaclausnorthpolealaska.com.

EPISODE 47 - Stephanie Smith: The Mother Wound

"My mother didn't like me." Born ten months after her older brother died, Stephanie Smith grew up feeling like "the replacement baby." Only she wasn't a boy and her talkative, creative, and effervescent personality broke the mold of her mother's expectations and preferences. From passive-aggressive attempts to "marry her off" to refusing to sign the papers that would allow her to attend the dream college she was accepted to - Notre Dame - much of Stephanie's adult life focused on winning her mother's elusive approval. A prominent government analyst and municipal clerk, the list of her accomplishments could fill volumes. Still, her mother remained cold and disapproving. It wasn't until well into adulthood that, while attending a professional retreat, a leader delivered an "Aha!" moment. "Stop making yourself unhappy trying to make your mother happy." That realization dislodged her from a lifelong cycle of futility. From that point on she says, "I began leaning into who I really was." Stephanie shares three solutions to life's challenges: "You can accept what is, change it, or leave it. If you don't choose one of those, that's the definition of a martyr." Stephanie chose to accept her "mother wound" and now even considers it to be the very tool that made her who she is today. A best-selling author and sought-after speaker, she can be contacted at StephanieDee@ThePinkBriefcase.com. Her book, Values-Based Goal Setting: How to Dream Big and Live the Life You Were Meant To Live can be purchased on Amazon: https://a.co/d/aGQNYs9

EPISODE 46 - Laura Krauss: The Layoff Cooties

When you're winning awards for crushing company goals, chosen to lead and mentor, and generating millions of dollars in revenue, the last thing you'd expect is to be terminated. Laura Krauss was blindsided. This politically charged layoff, rendered right before the holidays without even the courtesy of a face-to-face meeting left Laura bitter and grieving. Even her closest colleagues stopped talking to her. In dire need of connection, she began posting on LinkedIn, and her message struck a nerve with others who were also grappling with the aftermath of an abrupt termination. In a true case of pain turning into purpose, Laura created a free online community, "The Layoff Cooties Couch," and her book The Layoff Cooties: It's Them, Not You is helping many navigate the emotional trauma of a layoff. Because it's not just business. It IS personal. Find out more about Laura's work and book at www.rippleeffectsales.com.

EPISODE 45 - David Wetherelt: Living with Undiagnosed Autism and ADHD

He always felt "different."  His entire life? A quest to get to the bottom of what fueled chronic anxiety, depression, and alcohol abuse.  Appearances are deceiving. A high performer who enjoyed top-tier professional success, David Wetherelt masked his inner pain. The constant "extra steps of mental gyrations" necessary to fit in proved exhausting, ending in hospitalization.  His story took a dramatic turn when at age 58 he received a life-changing diagnosis: autism. Finally, like Dorothy's world turning to technicolor when she arrived in Oz, David could understand the "why" behind a lifetime of overwhelming feelings leading to self-destructive behaviors.  Managing life in a new, healthy way, David is now a speaker and advocate to raise awareness of neurodiversity and remove the stigma from spectrum disorders. The relief of finally being diagnosed has led to profound self-acceptance, and his heart to help others led to the formation of www.homosystemus.com.  What if you or someone you know struggles with addiction or self-hatred from not "fitting in"? What if the issue isn't laziness, stupidity, or lack of self-control? What if, like David, a proper diagnosis could be the truth that sets you free?  David's story proves that it is never too late to have your breakthrough.  For those struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help and call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

EPISODE 44 - Herbie Mack: Surviving Suicide and Living to Save Lives

He just celebrated the 9th anniversary of his last suicide attempt. Growing up in the Bronx, Herbie Mack was conditioned to be tough. If you feel it, don't show it - and don't talk about it. Caught in the crosshairs of a shootout, he knew he had to get out. A friend encouraged him to move to Tampa, FL, and begin a new life. But he soon learned that no matter where you go, you take yourself with you. He embraced the party culture of college and achieved his dream - a degree that could open up a career in the recording industry. His parents barely acknowledged this accomplishment and didn't attend his graduation, leaving Herbie feeling rejected and questioning his value. To numb the pain he self-medicated with alcohol and when he could no longer cope with the pain, he tried to commit suicide. And he tried again. And again. Just before his fourth attempt, an old girlfriend knocked on his door and for the first time, Herbie opened up. In her, he found a safe space, which led to professional help. There's so much more to this inspirational interview, including warning signs to look for and how to help someone in need. Herbie Mack is now a Suicide Prevention Specialist who takes stages around the country with his life-saving message. Find out more at www.herbiemack.com Suicide is the 4th leading cause of death among 15 - 19 year olds. If you recognize the signs in yourself or someone you love, please call or text 988. As Herbie Mack says, "There is more life for you." You are worth it.