this is it actually.

hi! i'm back with a bonus episode! i'm heading to SUMMERFEST to collect stories and memories about my hometown from the people who know it best. for the first 20 years of my life, my whole existence and all the parts that made up me, everything that happened to me, good and bad, were all based out of one particular place. a sweet and serene small town called meaford. with special guests: jessica, candice, michele, laura, mike, matt, wendy, fran and my daughter lola. x.

our wee family of 3 is hitting some serious milestones this week and of course, as it goes, that led me to thinking about the bigger things attached to 'endings'. and listen, i'm well aware that endings bring on new beginnings and even though it's sometimes sad to move on, it's usually where the good stuff lives. but that doesn't make it any less emotional or challenging. there are so many 'endings' that i actually don't remember. i was in survival mode for so long, it was hard to take notice. my wish for my kids (and for you & me & everyone!) is to switch out of survival mode every now and then. time's gonna do what time does. there will be happiness and grief and everything in between. try and see it. sometimes. whatever it is. x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

you're going to love today's episode! i want you to meet my friend madison tevlin. i mean, you probably already know who she is. she stars in the movie CHAMPIONS and she's blowing up on social media. (a recent tiktok about potatoes has over 6 million views!) she always says that down syndrome is the 'least interesting thing about her', and trust me when i tell you, it's true... as you will soon find out. madison hosts the show WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? - co-produced by yours truly - where she chats with 10 incredible people about who they are and how people see them. we dig into all the heart stuff and a lot of fun stuff - stick around to hear me quiz maddie with a round of excruciatingly-difficult-to-choose rapid fire - and i hope you enjoy this episode! with special guest: @madisontevlin. x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually

my sister and brother in law gave a camcorder to my husband and i when my oldest daughter was born. 17 years ago, this was a giant GIFT. two babies born and 1 divorce later, the girls and I stopped using it in 2017, when the tapes ran out. for years i have been meaning to get the tapes digitized. a million excuses later, i finally found a young woman through facebook who does it as a side project and within a few days of chatting, i was driving 15 mini-dv tapes over to her house. i was handing over our snippets of time. it was emotional and so very wild to watch them back. time is weird & wonderful. today's episode is just me, moving through a day, creating more snippets. x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth

i'm a big fan of voicenoting... i mean, have you met this podcast? sending a voicenote is like the updated version of leaving a voicemail with zero time restriction! (which, let's be honest, can be quite problematic when you fancy yourself a storyteller) i met my friend jess many years ago working on canadian idol. we rekindled our friendship in the pandemic and basically picked up where we left off. don't you love when that happens? but right as we started to get close again, she up and moved across the country! being on the phone for long periods of time with a 3 hour time difference and actual lives to live, wasn't super realistic, so we started voicenoting just before she left. it became this ritual between us. to share in each other's journeys and minutia of the days. 2022 was a complete shit show for both of us, but the one thing we knew we could rely on was our voicenotes. it was like a shared journal. for the ups and downs, but also for gratitude. we wanted to be accountable. we had no idea what it would end up being, but i can honestly say it became a bit of a lifeline. i mean, we said it all. we lost a lot. we were lonely, separately together. we bore witness to each other’s struggles. we laughed, we cried, we kept going and being thankful. gratitude was always the connector, but life seeped in. with special guest, my friend: @jessica.m.wright. x. follow the podcast on instagram: @thisisitactually follow me & the podcast on twitter: @jenibesworth