Did You Have to Earn Love? Healing Conditional Love and Learning to Love Yourself

Did You Have to Earn Love? Healing Conditional Love and Learning to Love Yourself

Many of us carry a quiet, painful belief we've never said out loud: that we were loved conditionally, by a parent, a partner, or both. In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie DeLucca-Collins unpacks what unconditional love actually is (hint: it's not the absence of boundaries), why so few of us experienced it fully, and why that pain was never proof that something was wrong with us. Julie shares a personal story about her own experience with conditional love, then walks through why the deepest, most reliable unconditional love you'll ever find has to start inside your own being. This episode closes with a Tiny Habits-based Brave Move Challenge anchored to something you already do every day: catching your own reflection in the mirror. If you've spent your life trying to earn love through performance, achievement, or being easy to be around, this episode is your invitation to stop waiting for someone else to hand you your worth. Key Takeaways * Unconditional love isn't the absence of boundaries — it's a felt sense that your essence, not your performance, is good and lovable. * If you experienced conditional love growing up, the pain you carry isn't proof something is wrong with you. It's proof something was limited in the love you were given. * Truly unconditional love is rare to find fully from another person — the most reliable source of it is the relationship you build with yourself. * Self-love isn't a personality trait some people have, and others don't. It's a practice you can build in small, repeatable moments. Brave Move Challenge (Tiny Habits Edition) After I see my reflection in the mirror, I will pause for three seconds and say one true, kind thing to myself about my essence — not my appearance. Small, repeatable, anchored to something you already do every day. Quotable Moments * "The pain wasn't proof that something was wrong with you. The pain was proof that something was wrong with the love you were given." * "You cannot outsource this one." * "Unconditional love is a felt sense, deep in your body, that your essence is good." If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/support] Join the Community [https://www.skool.com/confident-you-rawconversations-4533/about] Brave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum. If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time. Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends! Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review. For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/]. If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call [https://calendly.com/goconfidentlycoaching/coaching-call] to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs. Fo...

Why Being Liked Isn't the Same as Being Loved (And How to Stop Confusing Them)

Being liked and being loved are not the same thing, and for years Julie DeLucca-Collins confused the two. In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie unpacks the real root of people-pleasing: not kindness, but fear. Drawing from her own corporate career, where being "the reliable one" quietly became her entire sense of self-worth, Julie breaks down why people-pleasing keeps your goodness trapped outside of you, in the hands of a jury that never stops deliberating. You'll learn the one question that can start untangling people-pleasing patterns in real time, why approval-seeking behavior can never actually deliver the peace it promises, and how to begin separating genuine generosity from fear-based giving. This episode closes with a practical, three-second Brave Move Challenge you can start using today. If you've ever felt exhausted from being "the good one," this episode is your permission slip to stop auditioning for a role you never needed in the first place. Key Takeaways People-pleasing and genuine kindness look identical from the outside but come from opposite places on the inside: fear versus fullness. * When your sense of worth depends on other people's approval, you never actually own your own goodness — you rent it, one compliment at a time. * Everyone judging your "goodness" is operating from their own history, moods, and bad days — which means their opinion was never a reliable verdict on you. * Noticing the pattern in real time is the first step to changing it. You can't shift what you haven't caught. Brave Move Challenge Before saying yes to something this week, pause for three seconds and ask: "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I need them to think I'm good?" Just notice the answer. That's the whole assignment. Quotable Moments * "Being liked and being loved are not the same thing." * "Love gives from fullness. People-pleasing gives from fear." * "You've made your worth dependent on a jury that never stops deliberating." * "Your goodness was never up for a vote." If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/support] Join the Community [https://www.skool.com/confident-you-rawconversations-4533/about] Brave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum. If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time. Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends! Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review. For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/]. If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call [https://calendly.com/goconfidentlycoaching/coaching-call] to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs. Fo...

The Confidence Origin Story: How Brave Moves Begin

In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie takes listeners back to the beginning of her confidence journey and shares the story behind why confidence became such a meaningful part of her life and work. After realizing that some listeners may be joining the Brave Moves journey mid-story, Julie opens the door to her own origin story. She reads from the first chapter of her book, Confident You: Simple Habits to Live the Life You Have Imagined, sharing a vulnerable and memorable junior high moment that shaped how she understood confidence, insecurity, shame, and self-worth. This episode is not really about gym class, mean girls, or an unfortunate see-through bra situation in the Miami heat, although yes, that story makes an appearance. It is about how early moments can define us, how confidence can be misunderstood, and how women often learn to perform confidence before they truly feel it. Julie reflects on growing up in a family of strong women, learning the value of leadership, and eventually discovering that confidence is not something you either have or do not have. Confidence is something you practice, build, and return to one small brave move at a time. This episode is an invitation to stop seeing confidence as a personality trait and start seeing it as a habit, a result, and a pathway back to who you really are. In This Episode Julie shares: *  Why she wanted to give listeners the “first book” of the Brave Moves story  *  A vulnerable story from her book Confident You *  How an awkward junior high moment shaped her confidence for years  *  Why so many women are taught to be good, quiet, pleasing, and mold-fitting  *  The difference between acting confident and becoming confident  *  Why confidence is built through action, not perfection  *  How strong women, mentors, and trailblazers helped shape her mission  *  Why she wrote Confident You for women, her nieces, and anyone needing a reminder of what is possible  Key Takeaway Confidence is not something you are magically born with. It is something you build through small choices, honest reflection, and brave moves that help you become more of who you were meant to be. Memorable Quote “Confidence is a result rather than an action.” Call to Action Think about one early story that shaped how you see yourself. Is it still serving you, or is it time to write a new chapter? And this week, make one brave move that helps you become the confident you. You can get a copy of my book here [https://a.co/d/04dUcdm0] If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/support] Join the Community [https://www.skool.com/confident-you-rawconversations-4533/about] Brave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum. If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time. Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends! Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review. For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/]. If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call [https://calendly.com/goconfidentlycoaching/coaching-call] to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs. Fo...

Courage as a Way of Life: Why Fear Isn't the Only Thing That's Contagious

Fear is contagious; we all know that. But courage is contagious too. In this episode, Julie explores what it really means to live courageously, not as one big heroic moment, but as a quiet, repeated way of showing up. She breaks down why courage isn't a highlight reel, and why the hardest part of courageous living is letting go of the outcome entirely. In This Episode: * Why fear spreads fast in a room, and why courage spreads just as fast * The myth of courage as a one-time, heroic, cinematic moment * What everyday courage actually looks like: pricing, boundaries, hard conversations, showing up * Why courageous living means letting go of the outcome * A simple Brave Move Challenge to practice courage today Key Takeaway Courage that only shows up in big moments isn't courage; it's adrenaline. Real courage is a way of life, built through small, unglamorous, repeated choices. Brave Move Challenge Notice what you're spreading today, fear or courage, and to whom. Then choose one small, honest, non-heroic moment to do the steady thing, and let go of how it turns out. Quotable Moments * "Fear moves fast. It doesn't need permission; it just spreads." * "Courageous living means we also let go of the outcome." * "Be the courage in the room." If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/support] Join the Community [https://www.skool.com/confident-you-rawconversations-4533/about] Brave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum. If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time. Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends! Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review. For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/]. If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call [https://calendly.com/goconfidentlycoaching/coaching-call] to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs. Fo...

Comfortable Isn't the Same as Good: Why Staying Too Long Costs You Your Best Years

Inspired by a powerful quote from Karen Salmansohn, "If you stay too long in a bad situation, you forget it's a bad situation and get comfortable. Meanwhile, the best years of your life will pass you by," this episode explores how we quietly settle into situations, jobs, relationships, and business models that stopped serving us long ago. Julie breaks down why comfortable and good are not the same thing, and challenges listeners to name what they've stopped noticing. In This Episode: * The Karen Salmansohn quote that inspired this episode, and why it hits so hard * How bad situations slowly become "normal" without us realizing it * Why comfortable is not the same as good * The real cost of staying too long, and it's not drama, it's time * A simple Brave Move Challenge to help you see your situation clearly again Key Takeaway Comfortable just means your nervous system stopped flagging the problem. It doesn't mean the situation is right for you. Brave Move Challenge Name one situation you've gotten too comfortable in. Write it down. You don't need a five-year plan today, just the honesty to see it clearly again. Quotable Moments * "Comfortable and good are not the same word." * "Comfortable just means your nervous system stopped flagging it." * "It's not that bad becomes the sentence that keeps people stuck the longest." If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2542996/support] Join the Community [https://www.skool.com/confident-you-rawconversations-4533/about] Brave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum. If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time. Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends! Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review. For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/]. If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call [https://calendly.com/goconfidentlycoaching/coaching-call] to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs. Fo...