How to Show Up Differently When Anxiety Hits

How to Show Up Differently When Anxiety Hits

In last week’s episode, we talked about what anxiety is and how it shows up in our reactions. This week, we’re taking the next step: what do we do when anxiety is actually happening? Ken and Danae talk about how we begin moving from noticing anxiety in the rearview mirror to recognizing it in real time. They unpack the practice of stopping, calming ourselves, thinking clearly, naming the threat, and using guiding principles to help us show up as the person we want to be. They also talk about repair, what it looks like to acknowledge when anxiety got the best of us, and how to take responsibility without blaming the other person. This work takes courage, practice, and grace. The goal is not to get it perfect. The goal is to keep becoming more aware, more grounded, and more whole. Show Notes:  Ways to Get Into Action This Week: Take some time this week to reflect on a moment when you felt triggered or anxious. Ask yourself: * When did anxiety show up? * How did I react? * What was I being threatened by? * Was there something from my first formation or childhood that may have been stirred up? * How did I try to protect myself? * How do I want to show up differently next time? Then, write a short guiding principle that can help you in that moment. Keep it clear, direct, and easy to remember. For example: * I am brave enough to talk about deep things with the people I want to. * I am not threatened by my imperfection. * I am present when things feel uncomfortable. * I am honest without being reactive. And if anxiety got the best of you, consider whether there is a repair conversation you need to have. That might sound like: “I realized I didn’t show up the way I wanted to.” “My anxiety got stirred up, and I reacted.” “I’m sorry for the impact that had on you.” “I want to keep practicing showing up differently.” No one can do this work for you, but you do not have to do it alone. Learn More Faithwalking’s course, What No One Told You About Life: Growing Up Emotionally, Managing Anxiety, and Improving Relationships, is designed to help you grow in emotional maturity, manage anxiety, and improve your relationships. Learn more here: https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/ [https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/] We would love to hear from you! Email us questions, topics you would like us to cover, or just say hello! makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com [makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com]

Anxiety Isn’t Always Worry: What’s Really Driving Your Reaction

Anxiety does not always look like worry. Sometimes it looks like anger. Sometimes it looks like keeping the peace. Sometimes it looks like venting, controlling, fixing, shutting down, or taking responsibility for things that are not actually ours to carry. In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, Danae and Ken begin a new conversation around self-regulation and anxiety. They talk about the difference between acute anxiety and chronic anxiety, how anxiety shows up in our relationships, and why our reactions are often connected to a deeper sense of threat. They also explore some of the common ways we miss anxiety in ourselves. This conversation invites us to look beneath the surface of our reactions and begin asking a better question: What am I being threatened by? The goal is not to never feel anxiety. The goal is to learn how to manage ourselves in the middle of it so we can show up with more maturity, honesty, courage, and love. Show Notes:  Ways to Get Into Action This Week: Think about one moment this week when you got triggered, reactive, angry, defensive, shut down, or stirred up. Then take a few minutes to reflect: * Who was involved? * What happened? * How did you react? * What did you think but not say? * What did you feel in your body? * What were you angry, afraid, or anxious about? * What threat did you experience? * Did you feel dismissed, controlled, unseen, blamed, exposed, abandoned, or afraid of messing something up? Then ask one more question: * How would I like to show up differently next time? You may not catch your anxiety in the moment at first. That is okay. Start in the rearview mirror. Look back. Get curious. Practice one small step toward becoming a less anxious presence. Thank you for listening to Making Wholeness Possible. Stay curious. Keep practicing. This is how wholeness becomes possible. Learn More Faithwalking’s course, What No One Told You About Life: Growing Up Emotionally, Managing Anxiety, and Improving Relationships, is designed to help you grow in emotional maturity, manage anxiety, and improve your relationships. Learn more here: https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/ [https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/] We would love to hear from you! Email us questions, topics you would like us to cover, or just say hello! makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com [makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com]

Four Practices for Becoming More Self-Aware

In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, Danae and Ken wrap up their conversation on self-awareness by exploring four simple practices that help us grow: becoming more observant, staying curious, making time for intentional reflection, and inviting a coach into the journey. Danae and Ken are joined by Angela Ashley, who shares honestly about her own journey toward emotional maturity, what it was like to begin doing this work, and how coaching helped her see things she could not see on her own. Angela talks about resistance, shame, learning to feel emotions, the value of being deeply listened to, and why “awareness is progress.” Together, they explore why self-awareness cannot happen in isolation and how safe, honest relationships can help us grow in the way we understand ourselves, manage anxiety, and show up with others.MW This episode is a practical and personal reminder that no one can do this work for you, but you cannot do it alone. Show Notes: Ways to Get Into Action This Week: 1. Pause and notice what you are feeling. Take 30 seconds each day to stop and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Begin practicing the simple act of observing what is happening inside of you instead of rushing past it. 2. Pay attention to a moment when you get triggered. Notice one moment this week when something stirs a strong reaction in you. Instead of moving quickly into blame, defense, or avoidance, pause and get curious. 3. Practice the Five Whys. When you notice a reaction, ask yourself, “Why did that trigger me?” Then keep going deeper by asking why again. Go five levels deep to help you get underneath the surface reaction and closer to what may really be happening inside of you. 4. Make space for intentional reflection. Find a rhythm that works for your life. It may be a walk, journaling, prayer, quiet time, or a few minutes at the end of the day. The goal is not to do it perfectly. The goal is to pause long enough to pay attention. 5. Consider where you may need support. Think about whether a coach, mentor, counselor, or trusted person could help you listen more deeply, ask better questions, and see what you may not be able to see on your own. Thank you for listening to Making Wholeness Possible. Stay curious. Keep practicing. This is how wholeness becomes possible. Learn More Faithwalking’s course, What No One Told You About Life: Growing Up Emotionally, Managing Anxiety, and Improving Relationships, is designed to help you grow in emotional maturity, manage anxiety, and improve your relationships. Learn more here: https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/ [https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/]

Self-Awareness: Managing Your Strong Emotions

Strong emotions are part of being human, but many of us were never taught how to handle them in healthy ways. In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, Danae and Ken continue the conversation on self-awareness by exploring what we learned in our first formation about managing strong emotions. They talk about how early messages, family patterns, and modeled behaviors can shape the way we respond as adults, like learning to stuff our sadness, not to cry, not to show fear, or not to let anyone see what we were really feeling. But those emotions do not disappear. They leak out in our relationships, our parenting, our leadership, our work, and even our bodies. This conversation is about looking back with curiosity so we can understand what we learned, name what is still shaping us, and begin practicing healthier, more whole ways of responding. Show Notes: Ways to Get Into Action This Week 1. Reflect on what you learned about strong emotions.Choose one emotion to begin with: anger, sadness, fear, disappointment, grief, anxiety, or shame. Ask yourself: What did I learn about this emotion growing up? Was it welcomed, ignored, punished, silenced, mocked, or modeled in a healthy way? 2. Make a simple “what I learned” list.Draw a line down the middle of a page. On one side, write what you learned that may have been healthy or helpful. On the other side, write what you learned that may have been unhealthy, limiting, or harmful. Consider both what was said out loud and what was modeled without words. 3. Use the Five Whys.Think about a recent moment when you had a strong emotional reaction. Then gently ask yourself “why?” several times to get beneath the surface. Why did that upset me? Why did it feel threatening? Why did I respond that way? What old story, wound, fear, or pattern might be underneath it? 4. Use a feelings wheel.If it is hard to name what you are feeling, look up a feelings wheel and use it to find more specific language. Sometimes naming the feeling is the first step toward understanding what is happening inside of you. 5. Name the loss.If you are feeling sadness or grief, ask: What have I lost? Then ask: What is different now because of this loss? Naming the loss can help you sit honestly with grief instead of running from it or stuffing it down. 6. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.Feeling an emotion is not the same as being controlled by it. This week, practice saying, “It is okay for me to feel this.” Then ask God to help you respond with maturity, honesty, and compassion. We would love to hear from you! Email Danae and Ken at makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com Faithwalking’s course, What No One Told You About Life: Growing Up Emotionally, Managing Anxiety, and Improving Relationships, is designed to help you grow in emotional maturity, manage anxiety, and improve your relationships. Learn more here: https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/ [https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/] Learn More

Self Awareness: What We Learned Early and Still Carry Today

In this episode of Making Wholeness Possible, Danae and Ken begin a new conversation around self-awareness by going back to our childhood – our first formation: the early shaping we experienced through family, relationships, culture, authority figures, and the things we learned we had to do to feel safe, loved, accepted, or in control. Ken and Danae talk honestly about how early lessons can become adult patterns. Avoiding conflict. Over-functioning. Playing small. Keeping everyone happy. Shutting down. And more. These reactions often feel like “just who we are,” but they may actually be protective patterns we learned a long time ago. This conversation invites you to look back with honesty and compassion, not blame or shame. We may not be responsible for what happened in our first formation, but as we gain awareness and tools, we can begin to take responsibility for how we show up now. Show Notes Ways to Get Into Action This Week A few simple but meaningful ways to begin practicing self-awareness this week: 1. Carve out time for reflection.Deep awareness does not happen without reflection. Set aside time this week to slow down, think, pray, journal, or simply pay attention to what has been stirring in you. 2. Make a positive and negative first formation list.Create two columns. On one side, write down positive things you learned in your first formation. On the other side, write down negative things you learned. These may be things that were directly taught, modeled for you, implied, or simply absorbed as you tried to make sense of the world. 3. Journal about a specific experience.Think about one moment or series of moments from your early life that shaped you. Start by writing the facts: What happened? Who was there? What do you remember? 4. Ask, “What meaning did I make?”After naming what happened, go deeper. What did you come to believe about yourself, others, God, relationships, conflict, safety, love, or acceptance because of that experience? Don’t be satisfied with the first answer. Let it simmer. 5. Ask, “How did I learn to protect myself?”Did you learn to hide, perform, overprepare, avoid conflict, keep everyone happy, shut down, get loud, stay quiet, or play small? Begin noticing how that protective pattern may still show up today. You do not have to figure it all out this week. Just start noticing. We would love to hear from you! Email Danae and Ken at makingwholenesspossible@gmail.com Learn More Faithwalking’s course, What No One Told You About Life: Growing Up Emotionally, Managing Anxiety, and Improving Relationships, is designed to help you grow in emotional maturity, manage anxiety, and improve your relationships. Learn more here: https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/ [https://faithwalking.com/what-no-one-told-you-about-life/] Show NotesWays to Get Into Action This WeekLearn More