My Hijacked American Lie-fe

More or Less.....

This started out as a joke but morphed into a poem or something like that as it kind of rymes. A bit of a departure from the normal material and the jokes but I thought it would be worth putting up to show that I everything i come up with is not all that good. It's not too long and you can always skip it .... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support [https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support]

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight....

My favorite poem by Irish Poet Dylan Thomas. I memorized this a while ago. I am not sure why exactly but it seemed like something that would be of value later. It's an amazing poem and one I have always found pertinent to my life. I don't think my recitation of it does it justice. Thanks for listening. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support [https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support]

Unintended Consequences....

This podcast was meant to help save my life. In the process it has destroyed the lives of those that have been fucking with me and that is a good thing. However, I must apologize to the family of liz as The Rogers had nothing to do with this. I won't name them all but I do know about all of you. I was looking forward to meeting you when I thought liz and I were together. I was looking forward to going to the non-lake lake house.... Please do not be angry or upset with anyone other than those directly involved. From what I have heard the good parts of her family are being adversely affacted and that is not fair to them at all as it isn't or wasn't fair to me. Please do not hold them guilty for anything as they have done nothing wrong. It is only the one bad apple in the bunch. Her family and parents are good people and they deserve to be treated as such. Her family is not to be blamed in anyway and i am sorry all this has happened. Those that are involved will be held accountable but the family members of those people are innocent and should be not be considered guilty by association. Please do not blame them for any wrong doing. Having experienced that myself for years, i know how shitty and awful that can be. I never wanted any of this to occur. But I will not give up without a fight. I will not go quietly into the night. I will not let these assholes fucking destroy my life. (yes part of that is from Independence Day.....I love that fuckin speech BTW. Bill Pullman you are missed). Today I celebrate my Independence Day! (I guess I spoke too soon. I have a feeling that day is rapidly approaching. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train but having my own life again. One not controlled by sadistic and horrific people like Jimbo Turkey and the Three Little Pig of a Bitches. God, I fucking despise all of them.) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support [https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support]

You're Fucked....in the Ass and Mouth....Spit Roast Style!

Fuck you former police chief and disgraced Seal. You're going to have me killed for doing nothing.wrong. You're worse than them all. Fuck you. This is absolutely true and real I need help now. I can't believe this piece of shit can't do his fucking job. What a god damn fucking asshole. His uncle is going to be pissed off because he was going to have me killed and than lie to his uncle and that is soneone you never lie to. Fucj you chief pile of shit. With all due respect....oh wait I have none for you. Eat a dick Dave Nisliet..he is planning to have me fslsely arrested, again, and murdered at noon today. Please help me please by contacting any federal agency you can think of. This is all real. Call Gloria Allred or any attorney you can to help. This is not a joke. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support [https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support]

French Fuckers....Can't Trust Em'....

I know very little about the French but I think this joke accurately summarizes their entire culture and history. I am pretty sure I am right. (Because as an American with little information I can correctly assume and know everything there is to know about a particular ethicity or demographic. Americans are the most apparently knowledgeable group of people that makes major decisions upon the least amount of accurate information. So, are we right or wrong. Technically, we are both simultaneously right and wrong and that's a Schrdingers Cat Paradox. What does this have to do with some German and his cat? Read a fucking book you idiot. Don't call me an idiot. Ok, read a book dumbass. You know I should never have married you. Your cousin Mitch was way better than you. Oh you mean Mitch the Bitch.....Mitch is 37 and still working at Footlocker. Well my Auntie Charisse says he is going to be the Manager in about a year so long as he gets his GED. Bitch, that dumbass is fuckin retarded. That's why he couldn't graduate high school and he has worked at Footlocker for 15 years at the same minimum wage position...Don't call him retarded (Sorry, I am getting a little off track. Enjoy the joke..) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support [https://anchor.fm/jay-kambestad/support]