Do Better with Debra

Boundaries Aren't Selfish

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-69a4eb13-4238-8328-a410-2d5e93741292-85" data-testid= "conversation-turn-52" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> What does it look like to stop abandoning yourself just to keep the peace? In this episode of Do Better with Debra, I'm joined by Rebekah Tayebi for a real and honest conversation about boundaries, what they are, why they feel so hard, and what it actually takes to live them. This is not a conversation about "just saying no." This is a conversation about patterns. Conditioning. And the cost of being the one who always shows up for everyone else but yourself. Rebekah is a therapist, mindfulness teacher, and parent coach who brings both clinical insight and lived experience into her work. Together, we explore how people-pleasing gets formed, how early relationships shape our need to be seen and liked, and why so many of us wait until we're completely depleted before we finally set a boundary. We talk about how boundaries live in the body, the fatigue, the resentment, the disconnection and what it means to start listening to those signals instead of overriding them. Rebekah shares the difference between internal and external boundaries, and why both are necessary if we want to stay connected to ourselves while being in relationship with others. We also go into the realities of boundaries at work, the fear of being seen as difficult, the pressure to overperform, and the moment when you realize you don't have to stay in environments that don't value you. This conversation is honest, layered, and at times uncomfortable because it asks you to look at yourself. If you've ever felt like setting a boundary makes you selfish… If you've ever said yes when you meant no… If you're tired of carrying more than your share… This episode is an invitation to pause and ask yourself: Where am I leaving myself? My hope is that you hear something that helps you come back to yourself, not perfectly, but intentionally. Key Takeaways Boundaries are not selfish; they are how we come back to ourselves People-pleasing is often rooted in early experiences of needing to be seen, loved, or safe The body signals when a boundary has been crossed, through fatigue, resentment, and disconnection Internal boundaries (what we allow ourselves to hold onto) are just as important as external ones Workplace environments often reward overextension, but you still have a choice Setting boundaries can feel awkward and messy and that's part of the process About Rebekah Tayebi Rebekah Tayebi, LCSW, is a therapist, mindfulness teacher, and parent coach with over eighteen years of experience working with teens, adults, and families. Her work is rooted in relationship, honesty, and practical tools that support lasting change. She specializes in developmental trauma and integrates mindfulness, embodiment, and trauma-informed practices into her work. Rebekah is also a 500-hour certified yoga teacher and leads Yoga for Trauma Recovery workshops. She is the co-author of The Wanderlust Warrior Project and has developed curriculum for teens and young adults, with published work in Elephant Journal and Breathe Together. Her approach is grounded, compassionate, and real, helping people reconnect to themselves and build the skills needed for healing. Website: https://satyafamilycoaching.com/ [https://satyafamilycoaching.com/] About the Host Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind Do Better with Debra. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads system-wide strategy focused on belonging, college readiness, and postsecondary success. With more than 25 years in education and leadership, Debra supports women of color leaders navigating complexity and change, without abandoning themselves in the process. Connect with Debra Website: www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com [http://www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com] LinkedIn: Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. Instagram: @dobetterwithdebra

Protect Your Energy: Healing Survival Mode, Honoring Capacity, and Learning to Choose Ease

What does it look like to stop living in survival mode and actually listen to what your nervous system has been asking for all along? In this episode of Do Better with Debra, I'm joined by Zabie Yamasaki for a deeply grounding, expansive conversation about healing, boundaries, and learning how to choose ease in a world that rewards overextension. This is a conversation about slowing down, honoring capacity, and remembering that rest is not collapse, it's care. Zabie shares her journey as a survivor, healer, educator, and mother, and how her lived experiences shaped the work she now offers to others. We talk honestly about trauma, hypervigilance, and the ways survival mode can quietly become our baseline, especially for women of color, caregivers, and those working in systems that demand constant giving. We explore how boundaries live in the body, why "boundary work is nervous system work," and what happens when we stop overriding the signals our bodies send us. Zabie reflects on the moments that led her to write Protect Your Energy, a book that reads less like instruction and more like a restorative inhale, gentle, spacious, and deeply affirming. This conversation weaves together stories of loss, resilience, activism, and healing, while naming the exhaustion so many of us carry but rarely say out loud. We talk about toxic work environments, the pressure to overperform, redefining success, and learning to ask for and receive, what we deserve. If you are tired, carrying too much, or questioning whether another way is possible, this episode is an invitation to pause. You don't need to fix anything. You don't need to do more. You just need to listen. My hope is that you hear something that reminds you that your body is wise, your capacity matters, and you are allowed to choose yourself, without guilt. Key Takeaways * Survival mode often shows up quietly and can become normalized over time * Boundary work is not just cognitive; it lives in the nervous system and the body * Rest is not collapse it can be restorative when practiced with intention * Honoring capacity requires slowing down and learning to trust bodily cues * Healing does not require perfection or completion; it can happen right in the middle About Zabie Yamasaki Zabie Yamasaki, M.Ed., RYT is the founder of Transcending Trauma through Yoga and a nationally recognized trauma-informed yoga instructor, resilience educator, consultant, and keynote speaker. Her work centers nervous system regulation, embodied healing, and supporting trauma survivors through accessible, compassionate practices. Zabie's yoga as healing curriculum is implemented at over fifty college campuses and trauma agencies across the country, including the University of California system, Stanford, Yale, USC, Notre Dame, and Johns Hopkins University. She is the author of multiple books and healing tools, including Protect Your Energy: A Gentle Guide to Nurture Your Nervous System, Cultivate Rest, and Honor Your Needs. She lives in Los Angeles with her partner and children and sees her sensitivity and softness as her greatest strength. Connect with Zabie: Instagram: @transcending_trauma_with_yoga Website: zyamasaki.com About the Host Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind Do Better with Debra. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads system-wide equity strategy focused on belonging, college readiness, and postsecondary success. With more than 25 years in education and leadership, Debra supports women of color leaders navigating transition, complexity, and change, without abandoning themselves in the process. Connect with Debra: Website: www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com [http://www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com] LinkedIn: Debraygriffith [https://www.linkedin.com/in/debraygriffith/] Instagram: @dobetterwithdebra Subscribe to Do Better with Debra on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

We Were Not Always This Version: Leadership, Cost, and Becoming

Episode Description What does it really cost to lead in systems that were never built with you in mind and why do some leaders choose to stay anyway? In this episode of Do Better with Debra, I'm joined by Rachel Camacho, Ph.D. and Armando Madrid, Ed.D., co-founders of Alchemy Blueprint Collective, for a deeply honest conversation about leadership, becoming, and the quiet emotional labor so many mid-level leaders carry. Rachel and Armando are university leaders, educators, and leadership architects who have spent their careers navigating higher education from the margins, building programs, launching inaugural roles, mentoring emerging leaders, and holding systems accountable to their values. In this conversation, they move beyond titles and accomplishments and speak candidly about what leadership has asked of them over time. We talk about the emotional and psychological toll of leading while being watched, questioned, and expected to represent more than just yourself. They reflect on what they had to unlearn to lead with more tenderness and authenticity, why vulnerability can be both powerful and risky in institutional spaces, and how joy, community, and laughter have become essential leadership practices, not extras. Rachel and Armando share what it means to "bet on yourself," including the courage it takes to leave environments that cause harm, the importance of thought partners and community, and how they now pour into others so emerging leaders don't have to figure everything out alone. Together, they name why leadership development is justice work and why building new tables matters just as much as getting a seat at existing ones. This is a conversation for leaders who are tired, thoughtful, and still hopeful. For those navigating complexity, questioning their next move, or wondering if another way of leading is possible, this episode is a reminder that you are not alone, and you are not imagining the weight. My hope is that you hear something that helps you feel seen, steadied, and reminded that leadership is not just about endurance, it's about alignment, care, and becoming. Key Takeaways * Leadership in systems not built for us carries an emotional and psychological toll that often goes unnamed * Vulnerability and tenderness can be leadership strengths when practiced with intention and discernment * Betting on yourself sometimes means leaving, pausing, or redefining success altogether * Community, thought partners, and mentorship are essential for sustaining leadership over time * Pouring into others is a form of justice and a way to change systems from the inside out About Rachel Camacho, Ph.D. Rachel Camacho, Ph.D. (she/her/ella) is a first-generation, system-impacted Latina scholar-practitioner, leadership architect, and equity advocate. Her work centers educational access, leadership development, and justice-informed practice. She holds a BA from Pitzer College and an MA and PhD in Higher Education and Social Justice from Claremont Graduate University. About Armando Madrid, Ed.D. Armando Madrid, Ed.D. (he/him/él) is a first-generation, Latinx and queer educator, researcher, and leadership coach. His work focuses on social justice–centered leadership, self-advocacy, and creating spaces where historically marginalized staff and students can navigate higher education with clarity and purpose. He holds degrees from UCLA, CSU Long Beach, and the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. About Alchemy Blueprint Collective Founded by Drs. Rachel Camacho and Armando Madrid, Alchemy Blueprint Collective supports emerging, mid-level, and executive leaders, particularly those from BIPOC and marginalized communities, through equity-centered coaching, leadership development, and strategic consulting. Their work helps leaders align purpose, identity, and impact while navigating complex institutions. Learn more about Alchemy Blueprint [https://thealchemyblueprint.com/#home] Collective [https://thealchemyblueprint.com/#home] Connect with Dr. Rachel Camacho on Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelromerocamacho/] and Dr. Madrid on Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-armando-madrid/] About the Host: Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind the Do Better with Debra podcast. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads network-wide equity strategy focused on college readiness, belonging, and postsecondary completion across 25 schools. With more than 25 years in education and leadership, Debra supports women of color leaders navigating transition, carrying a lot, and still committed to leading transformative change in their organizations and in their own lives. Through coaching, consulting, and storytelling, she creates spaces for reflection, clarity, and courage. Connect with Debra: Website: www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com [http://www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com/] LinkedIn: Debraygriffith [https://www.linkedin.com/in/debraygriffith/] Instagram: @dobetterwithdebra Subscribe to Do Better with Debra on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

First-Gen Professional: Negotiating Identity, Power, and Belonging

What does it really mean to be first-generation after college ends? In this episode of Do Better with Debra, I'm joined by Dr. Bryan Rojas-Araúz for a powerful, deeply human conversation about what it means to be first-gen forever. Together, we explore the reality of moving through professional and leadership spaces without a blueprint, negotiating identity, belonging, and authenticity in systems that were never designed with us in mind. Bryan shares his journey from being an undocumented, first-generation college student to becoming a licensed psychologist, professor, and scholar-activist. We talk about the moments that shaped him, the mentors who helped open doors, and the internal negotiations that followed him from college into professional life. We also name the pressure many first-gen professionals feel to overperform, code-switch, and constantly prove they belong just to earn a seat at the table. This conversation is about more than career paths. It's about reclaiming identity, understanding lived experience as wisdom, and letting go of the need to ask permission to exist. We reflect on imposter syndrome, authenticity, and why belonging doesn't come from institutions, but from clarity about who you are and why you're here. If you are a first-generation professional navigating work, family, leadership, or identity, and feel like you are always negotiating who you can be in different spaces, this episode is for you. My hope is that you hear something that reminds you that you are not behind, you are not imagining it, and you do not need permission to take up space. Key Takeaways: * First-gen identity does not end at graduation. It continues throughout professional and personal life. * Negotiating systems often begins as a strategy for access, but awareness allows us to choose what we no longer need to negotiate. * Overachievement, performance, and constant proving are common responses to navigating spaces without a roadmap. * Authenticity is not just personal; it is a leadership practice and a form of resistance. * Belonging does not come from institutions that were not built for us. It comes from community, purpose, and self-trust. About Dr. Bryan Rojas-Araúz: Dr. Bryan Rojas-Araúz is a bilingual, bicultural Afroindigenous immigrant of Costa Rican and Panamanian descent. He is a licensed psychologist, educator, and scholar-activist whose work centers trauma, immigration, culturally responsive and decolonial healing, and the social conditions that shape wellbeing. He is the founder of In Lak'ech Counseling, Education, and Consulting, where he provides trauma- and culturally responsive psychological services, immigration evaluations, training, consultation, and speaking engagements. Dr. Rojas-Araúz is also a Clinical Assistant Professor in the International Disaster Psychology: Trauma and Global Mental Health program at the University of Denver, where he facilitates Spanish-language supervision in the Trauma and Disaster Psychology Clinic. His work centers Latine and Indigenous wellness, critical consciousness, and collective care. He is a co-author of the Workbook for Social Action for Counselors, Psychologists, and Helping Professionals and identifies as a scholar-activist, hip hop educator, slam poet, and documentary filmmaker. Connect with Dr. Bryan Rojas-Araúz: Learn more about his work at In Lak'ech Counseling, Education, and Consulting at www.inlakechcec.com [http://www.inlakechcec.com] About the Host: Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind the Do Better with Debra podcast. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads network-wide equity strategy focused on college readiness, belonging, and postsecondary completion across 25 schools. With more than 25 years in education and leadership, Debra supports women of color leaders navigating transition, carrying a lot, and still committed to leading transformative change in their organizations and in their own lives. Through coaching, consulting, and storytelling, she creates spaces for reflection, clarity, and courage. Connect with Debra: Website: www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com [http://www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com] LinkedIn: Debraygriffith [https://www.linkedin.com/in/debraygriffith/] Instagram: @dobetterwithdebra Subscribe to Do Better with Debra on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

The Pivots and the Boundaries: The Truth About Betting on Yourself

In this episode, I'm joined by two incredible women, Monica Varela, owner of The Brow Foundry in Old Pasadena, and Kalei Mahi, Chief Legacy Officer of NextGen Legacy NIL. Both of them took the leap from stability into the unknown, building businesses rooted in integrity, purpose, and a deep commitment to the people they serve. Together, we talk about the truth behind betting on yourself, the pivots you don't expect, the boundaries you learn to hold, the imposter syndrome that creeps in, the intuition that guides you, and the courage it takes to walk away from the safety of an 8-to-5 to build something with your own name on it. Monica and Kalei share what it's really like to be mothers, partners, and business owners while trying to create a life that honors their values. They speak honestly about fear, burnout, learning to ask for help, and the emotional stretch of navigating the early years of entrepreneurship. Their stories are powerful reminders that the leap isn't perfect but it is possible. If you've been sitting on a dream, feeling the tug to do something different, or talking yourself out of taking the next step, this conversation is for you. My hope is that you hear something that reminds you that you're not behind, you're not alone, and you are absolutely allowed to choose yourself. This episode is an invitation for the gifted, tired woman holding so much, the woman sitting on a dream she hasn't fully given herself permission to pursue, to trust her intuition, set boundaries that protect her peace, and remember that she's not behind… she's standing at the edge of her next pivot. 🎧 Available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. Key Takeaways * Taking the leap often starts with a quiet realization: "I can't keep living my life this way." * Boundaries around time, energy, and integrity are the backbone of a sustainable business and a grounded life. * Unlearning corporate conditioning (people-pleasing, over-functioning, equating worth with output) is essential to building a business that reflects who you are. * Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a practice of self-preservation that makes space for presence, purpose, and well-being. * Women supporting women, through referrals, encouragement, and honest conversation, expands what's possible for all of us. About Monica Varela Monica Varela is the owner of The Brow Foundry, a brow and beauty studio in Old Pasadena. A brow artist with over 14 years of experience, she's known for her naturally defined brow style and her ability to make clients feel seen, safe, and at ease the moment they sit in her chair. Monica built her business in the midst of the pandemic, relying on intuition, deep client relationships, and a commitment to creating a one-on-one space where people can relax, connect, and leave feeling like the best version of themselves. 🌐 Learn more about "The Brow Foundry Pasadena [https://thebrowfoundry.com/team]" 🔗 Connect with Monica on social media through @THE.BROW.FOUNDRY About Kalei Mahi Kalei Mahi is the Founder and Chief Legacy Officer of NextGen Legacy NIL, where she helps high school and college athletes and their families, navigate partnerships, contracts, financial literacy, and personal branding in the evolving NIL landscape. With more than 15 years of experience working with brands such as AT&T, The Coca-Cola Company, Sony, Lexus, and YouTube, and her background as a record-holding Division I swimmer, Kalei brings both expertise and empathy to her work. She teaches athletes how to protect their value, understand the business behind their opportunities, and make informed decisions that will serve them long after their playing careers end. 🌐 Learn more about NextGen Legacy NIL 🔗 Connect with Kalei and NextGen Legacy NIL Instagram: @nextgenlegacy_nil LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaleimahi/] About Dr. Debra Griffith Dr. Debra Y. Griffith is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind the Do Better with Debra podcast. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads network-wide equity strategy focused on college readiness, belonging, and postsecondary completion for more than 13,000 scholars across 25 schools. With over 25 years in education and leadership, Debra now supports women of color leaders navigating transition, carrying a lot, and still committed to leading transformative change, in their organizations and in their own lives. 🌐 Learn more about coaching and consulting at Do Better Executive Coaching [https://www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com/] 🔗 Connect with Debra on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/debraygriffith/]