Proudly on Record

How the Church Gaslit You Into Not Trusting Yourself (And How to Get It Back) | Hangout Hour

Religious trauma is real abuse and it's time we stop letting it get minimized. In this episode, Elise and Kari sit down for a candid conversation about the deep and lasting impact of religious trauma, why it maps almost perfectly onto CPTSD, and how the church runs the same narcissistic abuse cycle that keeps survivors stuck, confused, and doubting themselves for years. They get into: * Why religious trauma is still minimized * Religious Trauma Syndrome and how its symptoms overlap with Complex PTSD * The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle and how churches use every single one of them * Confession culture used as surveillance and control * How purity culture and shame disconnects you from your body * The weaponization of forgiveness against survivors * How religious gaslighting gets installed before you're old enough to question it * Why anger is the key to leaving abusive situations (and why the church suppressed it on purpose) * What actually helps: IFS therapy, somatic work, body-based healing, and learning to trust yourself again

Faith, Sexuality & Sobriety: A Former Missionary's Story | Angela

In this episode of Proudly On Record, we sit down with Angela (she,they), a 36-year-old from Houston, Texas, who shares their remarkable journey from charismatic Christian missionary to openly queer woman in recovery. Angela talks about growing up in a non-denominational church where "God loves you no matter what" was the message, even as subtle signals told her being gay was something to hide. She takes us through her 18+ months living overseas as a missionary intern and the isolation and loneliness she dealt with while there. We discuss: * What missionary training is like * Being outed by a 12-year best friend * Losing her church community after coming out * Finding sobriety through AA and rediscovering a "universalist" faith * Returning to church for the first time in 11 years at an affirming Episcopal congregation Content Note: Around the 40-minute mark, we discuss culturally insensitive missionary training methods. We do not condone these practices but believe it's important to expose what happens in these institutions. Schedule Update: We're switching to bi-weekly episodes for the summer! No new episode June 3rd and we'll be back the following week.

Queer Mennonite Preacher Reclaims Christianity from Evangelical Toxicity | Stephen Lowe

Pastor, educator, and queer theologian Stephen Lowe (he/they) joins us for a conversation about reclaiming Christianity from evangelical toxicity and finding liberation as a queer Anabaptist Christian. Stephen grew up in a tight-knit Mennonite community in Virginia's Shenandoah Valley, where his family had been rooted since the 1600s. As a queer, gender non-conforming pastor now serving in Appalachia, they share how falling in love with Jesus' actual teachings (and yes, his six-pack abs on the crucifix) led them deeper into faith rather than away from it, and into the work of building communities that honor the divinity in every person. We dig into the 500-year history of Anabaptism and how Mennonite theology radically differs from the evangelical Christianity that dominates American culture. Stephen makes a compelling case for how evangelicalism "mistakes the reward for the goal" by fixating on individual salvation and afterlife rewards while missing the entire point of Jesus' message: community, justice, and reconciliation here and now. In this episode, we cover: * Growing up Mennonite in a 500-year-old Anabaptist tradition * The difference between evangelical Christianity and actual Christ followers * Why individual salvation theology misses the entire point of Jesus' message * Reconciling queerness with faith and moving beyond apologetics * Why judgment can sound like justice for those who are marginalized * The Trinity as an orgy (yes, really) and queer theology as liberation * Communal discernment vs. evangelical individualism * Reclaiming "sin" as structural injustice rather than personal failing * Being too queer for church and too churchy for queer spaces * Why the Bible was never meant to "say one thing" Whether you're deconstructing, healing from religious trauma, exploring queer theology, or just trying to understand that not all Christians are evangelicals, this episode is a vital and surprisingly healing listen.

James Dobson, Purity Culture & Church Abuse: How Evangelical Parenting Groomed a Generation

Writer and podcaster DL Mayfield (they/them) joins us to unpack the deep harms of religious authoritarian parenting and the legacy of evangelical culture in America. DL grew up as a homeschooled pastor's kid, deeply immersed in end-times theology and evangelical purity culture. As a late-diagnosed autistic, non-binary parent, they share how reading, parenthood, and listening to their own kids ultimately led them out of the faith and into the work of helping others heal from religious authoritarian upbringings through their project, Strong Willed. We dig into the legacy of James Dobson and how his bestselling parenting books shaped generations of American families through ritualized corporal punishment disguised as godly love. DL makes a chilling case for how breaking a child's "strong will" doesn't just damage them in the moment, it severs their connection to their own inner knowing, setting them up for a lifetime of exploitation by abusers, employers, toxic relationships, and authoritarian systems. In this episode, we cover: * Growing up evangelical, homeschooled, and convinced the world was ending * How James Dobson's parenting books shaped generations of American families * Why religious authoritarian parenting is a form of ritualized abuse * The connection between corporal punishment, fascism, and authoritarianism * How purity culture created safe havens for predators in the church * The disturbing overlap between evangelical parenting methods and child sexual abuse * How disconnecting kids from their "strong will" makes them vulnerable for life * Reparenting yourself, honoring your inner child, and finding joy after religious trauma * Coming out as non-binary at 38 and going no-contact with family * Why protecting children is the foundation of resisting fascism Whether you're deconstructing, healing from religious trauma, parenting differently than you were parented, or just trying to understand how American evangelicalism got us here, this episode is a vital listen. Find DL Mayfield: strongwilledproject.com [http://strongwilledproject.com] Strongwilled Podcast @dlmayfield on Instagram & Threads

LGBTQ+ Life in Nigeria: Surviving, Thriving, and Finding Community

Vivian (she/her) is a Nigerian writer, singer, web designer, and queer activist working as a paralegal and first responder for STAG Initiative, a trans-focused NGO. Raised Catholic in an orphanage, she found her way to queer community through literature, social media, and underground gatherings, all while navigating a country where being LGBTQ+ is criminalized. In this episode, Vivian pulls back the curtain on what queer life in Nigeria actually looks like: the secret pride parties, the catfishing dangers, the NGOs fighting to protect their community, and the surprising ways wealth and class shape who faces consequences under the law. She also talks about the funding crisis hitting Nigerian queer organizations, the unique challenges facing trans people, and why she still calls Nigeria home.