How Rude! The Full House Podcast

158. Michelle Rides Again (Parts 1 and 2)

Well, here it is, gang, the very last episode of How Rude! The Full House Podcast. There really isn't much to say here because we honestly left it all on the field during our recording. A sports metaphor? Here? And now? You know it, baby. Here are the returning voices you'll hear during this big ass finale: Eddie Klinker, Molly Jones, Lindsay Lewin, Johnny Kyle Cook, Brian Holden, Clayton Margeson, James Dugan, Bill Nielsen, Tony Springs, Alyssa Davis, Hope Rehak, Fred Pelzer, Chris Johnson, Matt Kidd, and Alex Marianyi. They're amazing people, as are all 134 honorary Rude Dudes and everyone who has listened to this goofy show. Should we even bother to mention how Steve's girlfriend in Fuller House is named CJ and not JD? Probably not. It's the last episode! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

157. BONUS: Sugar and Spice Advice / Hip, Hip, Parade!

Brandon and Jon are back for one final bonus episode, and for this solemn occasion they're bringing two more torrid tales from the world of FH literature. In "Sugar and Spice Advice", idiot mop Stephanie decides she's old enough to run her own business before proceeding to run said business into the ground. Stephanie, you may be able to cook (under special circumstances), but the world of business? She ain't for you. She's ain't. FOR YOU. I mean for God's sake, she considers naming her business Good Food. What the fuck is wrong with this person? In "Hip, Hip, Parade!" we follow 4th Grade Class President Michelle as she tries to cobble together a school float for the Erotic Fall Festival Parade. Will she succeed, or will she be undermined by novelty fish heads, grumpy ass fuck face 5th grades, and one prig fuck dance instructor? Only time will tell. Full House books, it's been a blast, but we gotta say goodbye once and for all. So goodbye. Once and for all! XOXO

156. All Stood Up

Ethan Link (co-host of the Don't Quote Me podcast) is a yummy little macaroon ally of the LGBT community and our FINAL honorary Rude Dude. But that doesn't mean we treated Ethan any differently, no-no-no, far from it. Ethan, like his 133 predecessors, had to watch a perilously awful bit of television, and that bit of television is known as "All Stood Up". Jesse and Kimmy are at war. DJ and Michelle are at war. Stephanie and her new beau Ryan? Oh, they be at war, especially after Ryan makes the mistake of standing up our poor, sweet, dumb as potted dirt Steph. Who will win? Who will lose? WILL THE WORLD EVER BE THE SAME? Also: We preview some red hot summer bops from the impending How Rude! album, assess the acting skills of the Zwick children (they stink), and play one last round of Catchy Catchy, so don't move those earbuds from your waxy canals. We absolutely forbid it! COMING UP: One last bonus episode before the big finale! XOXO

155. Leap of Faith

Will Biby (proud cat owner and former resident of Mulkeytown, IL) is our penultimate guest, which means he had to sit down and watch a particularly tiresome retread of an episode known as "Leap of Faith". Remember the what has to be nearly a dozen episodes in which Jesse worries about losing his mojo? Remember how in every single one of them he learns family is more important than risking your life for a cheap thrill? Well, now Becky gets to learn that lesson. Except, no, in this instance she learns that taking a risk can be exhilarating, especially when the person you love is right there beside you. But also ... Jesse is a sexist asshole who shouldn't enforce double standards on his wife. And also ... fuck it, God almighty just fuck it. Michelle is soy excited about seeing the Counting Cows in concert, the twins are flushing anything they can get their salty sodium hands on, and Joey cannot stop eating. Don't worry, we take more than a bit of time up top to discuss the menu and oppressive work culture of El Bloato, rest assured. Want us to read your email during our Saturday, July 1 finale recording? Shoot that lovely message over to thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com [thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com]. We'd love to hear from you one last time! XOXO

154. Up on the Roof

Ballroom dancer and Holidazzle alumni Grace Pelzer joined us this week to watch and discuss "Up on the Roof", in which Joey's latest business venture proves to be his stupidest and DJ's attempt at campus levity results in a man's death. Wait, does it? Does this end with a murder? I can't really remember in hindsight. Look, there's a sweaty security guard and a principal who rocks a toupee, that much I do remember. Meanwhile, Brandon is defending the Dust Buster, Jon is leading an improv workshop, and the group is reflecting on senior pranks, skips, and struts. It's classic How Rude! shenanigans, and if you miss out then you lose out, ya hear? XOXO