If I Speak

126: What if you don’t have to feel anxious 24/7?

Ash has had life-changing experience for only £38. Has she found the key to escaping her fight-or-flight response? And what’s the best way to process anxiety? Plus: how to respond when your partner’s porn habit makes you feel weird. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters [https://ra.co/events/2454988] at Vespers on 30 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

125: Is the era of conspicuous consumption nearly over?

Have we finally had enough of hyper-consumerism? Moya and Ash confront the political crises that are changing our attitudes to spending, and what that’s got to do with the World Cup and cerulean sweaters. Plus: what to do when you’ve lost all motivation. Read the Vulture article [https://www.vulture.com/article/influencer-recession-audrey-peters-interview.html] about lifestyle influencers mentioned in the show. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters [https://ra.co/events/2454988] at Vespers on 30 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

124: Are you afraid of being ordinary?

Trapped in the attention economy, Moya wonders if our reading habits are affecting our sense of self, and Ash offers a feminist analysis of ‘main character’ versus ‘NPC’. Plus: what to do when your politics drift away from your friends’. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters [https://ra.co/events/2454988] at Vespers on 30 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

123: How can I get better at dealing with rejection?

Ash dreams up a whole new category – Disasterclass – in order to talk about inevitable pain of rejection. Whether it’s jobs, romance, friends or success, how much damage can rejection ultimately cause? Plus: early reviews of the Andy Burnham era. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Symeon Brown in conversation [https://www.ticketsource.com/bernie-grant-arts-centre/t-gljolyk] at the Bernie Grant Arts Centre in North London on 5 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

122: Can you change who you’re attracted to? w/ Annie Lord

Former Vogue agony aunt Annie Lord joins Ash and Moya to talk about what happens if you let go of your ‘type’ and allow your romantic ideals to change. Her debut novel, The Project [https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/474106/the-project-by-lord-annie/9781787305465], is out now. (NB: Annie recommends Sharon Olds’ poetry collection Stag’s Leap.) Plus: advice for a man who’s feeling romantically jaded. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.