Messy Middlescence

Broken Open: Grief, Healing, and Hope with Linda Henderson

After losing her daughter Andrea in a tragic car accident, Linda Henderson found herself navigating every parent’s worst nightmare. In this deeply moving conversation, Linda shares her journey through grief, love, healing, and hope. A nurse for 37 years, Linda had spent much of her life caring for others through illness and loss. But nothing could have prepared her for the sudden death of her 27-year-old daughter — who was a mother, social worker, writer, animal lover, and deeply loved daughter and sister. Years later, Linda wrote her book, The Road of Love and Hope: The Journey of Child Loss, as a way to share her grief story, honor her daughter’s life, and help others feel less alone in their own grief journey. In the episode, she talks about how writing and sharing her story ultimately became part of her healing. Linda speaks honestly about the early days of grief — the shock, the depression, the inability to function, and the tiny “baby steps” that slowly helped her begin rebuilding her life again. One of the things that stayed with us most was her reminder that healing sometimes starts with incredibly small wins: taking a shower, stepping outside, drinking water, or going for a walk. She also talks about the ways she continues to honor Andrea and keep her part of everyday life — through storytelling, family traditions, gardening, writing, and helping others navigate grief themselves. Rather than “moving on,” Linda shares what it looks like to carry love forward. This conversation felt especially personal and emotional for us. We had already planned to have Linda on the show and had recently finished reading her book when a sixth grader in Tara’s community tragically died in a bike accident. Reading Linda’s story while witnessing another family’s unimaginable loss made this conversation feel heartbreakingly real. As parents, it is impossible not to feel the weight of that kind of unimaginable grief. And yet, despite the heaviness of this topic, there is also so much hope in it. Linda reminds us that grief exists because of love. That healing is not linear and is different for everyone. That helping others can become part of healing ourselves. And that even in brokenness, beauty, meaning, and connection can still be present. Episode Highlights * Linda shares the story of losing her daughter Andrea in a tragic car accident * The difference between grief “existing” and truly grieving * Why grief becomes part of us rather than something we “finish” * The importance of tiny achievable steps during deep grief * Journaling, counseling, nature, and walking as healing tools * How Linda continues to honor Andrea through various rituals and traditions * How and why Linda wrote her book, The Road of Love and Hope: The Journey of Child Loss * The healing power of helping others and telling our stories * How grief changes identity, priorities, and perspective * Why love continues long after death

What An Injury Taught Me In Mid-Life

As we age, we’re often reminded to stay active. And yet, aging also makes us more vulnerable to injuries that can unexpectedly disrupt that effort. Last October, Tina injured her back while traveling. At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. She had experienced minor back pain before, and it usually resolved with rest. This time was different. What started as a small issue turned into weeks, then months, of persistent pain. Activities she loved—running and strength training—became too painful to continue. She began to wonder if that chapter of her life was behind her. By January, she decided it was time to seek help and began working with a chiropractor. What followed was a slow and often frustrating road to recovery. After three and a half months of consistent work, she is now—very gradually—easing back into her routine. She’s not fully recovered. But she feels hopeful again. More importantly, the experience changed how she thinks about her body, her workouts, and the aging process itself. In today’s episode, Tina shares her recovery journey and the lessons she’s taking with her: • The importance of seeking care sooner rather than later • Following professional guidance, even when progress feels slow • Resisting the urge to self-diagnose through the internet • Staying flexible in how you approach movement during recovery • Listening to your body—really listening • Recognizing that recovery often takes longer as we age • Prioritizing stretching and dynamic warm-ups • Accepting that your body may not be as resilient as it once was—and learning to work with it, not against it Sometimes the hardest part of staying active isn’t pushing forward—it’s learning when to slow down.

Messy Middlescence Talks About Life Coaching

Imagine having someone in your life whose main focus is to help you reach your goals—someone who really listens and supports you along the way. It’s a powerful idea. And it’s exactly what a life or personal coach offers. Most people are familiar with the term “life coach,” but we wondered—how many actually understand what a life coach actually does? And when it might be helpful? Because so many of our conversations here at Messy Middlescence center around transition, change, and reinvention, this felt like an important topic to explore. And, as it turns out, we have our own certified life coach right here. In this episode, Tina interviews Tara about her path into life coaching, what it really looks like in practice, and how it can support people during times of change—or even when you’re not quite sure what you want, but you know something needs to shift. We talk through: * Why Tara chose to become a life coach—and the experiences that shaped that decision * The differences between a life coach, therapist, and consultant * Common situations where coaching can be especially helpful * How to find a coach who’s the right fit for you * The different specialties within life coaching * What Tara has learned—both from her training and from working with her own coaches * How coaching sessions are typically structured * The role of clarity—understanding what you really want and how to move toward it * And why, in an ideal world, everyone might benefit from having a coach.

Connecting through Games

As we continue our Season 3 theme of connection, we’re talking about something simple that we both enjoy—games. Growing up, some of our most consistent and memorable family moments of connection came from sitting around a table playing cards or a round of Trivial Pursuit. There wasn’t anything particularly elaborate about it (although it sometimes got competitive), but there was something about having a shared activity that made being together feel fun and natural. It feels like games are making a quiet comeback. And maybe that’s because they offer something many of us are craving—a low-effort way to connect in a world that often feels so busy and digital. Games give you something to do while you’re together. They take the pressure off needing to carry the conversation. Whether it’s a quick card game, a weekly trivia night, or something as simple as Jenga or ping pong, they create space for connection in a way that feels light and approachable. In this episode, we talk about the games we’ve loved over the years—both growing up and now with our own families—as well as a few we’re curious to try. We also share what we’ve noticed about how different games fit different groups, moods, and stages of life. Our hope is that this conversation reminds you that connection doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s as simple as pulling out a deck of cards and inviting someone to join you.

Lisa Kramer and the Little Miracles of Change

To us here at Messy Middlescence, when we hear the word “reinvention”, it has a magical connotation to it. We are not sure why. Because when you look closely, reinvention isn’t easy - it involves tremendous work, determination, and a willingness to step into the unknown. Reinvention is a conscious process of transforming one’s life, career or mindset -- or sometimes all three. It requires letting go of what is familiar and comfortable and stepping toward something new without a clear map. The desire to reinvent oneself, one’s mindset or one’s career can happen at any age. Most of us have experienced this desire at some point in our lives and it can be the motivation for significant change. But true reinvention, the kind that leads to meaningful, lasting change, is much more unusual. And perhaps that is where the “magic” comes in. True reinvention requires something deeper than hard work and determination. It asks us to listen to that quiet inner voice, the one that is so often drowned out by fear, societal pressures and existing responsibilities. Learning to hear and trust that voice is what makes real transformation possible. Today we speak with Lisa Kramer [https://www.leadingwithintention.com/about-us/], founder and president of Leading with Intention [https://www.leadingwithintention.com/] who has followed that inner voice time and again — successfully reinventing her professional life multiple times along the way. In our conversation, Lisa shares her own experiences with reinvention as well as the work she does supporting others through similar transitions. Her recent pivot to retirement coaching focuses on helping individuals and couples design their next chapter with intention and clarity which feels relevant to anyone navigating change. Lisa brings both honesty and wisdom to this conversation. She helps us see that reinvention is both practical and, in its own way, a little bit magical. In this episode, we explore: * How Lisa’s background in social work shaped her approach as a coach * The role of relationships, connection, and community especially as we age * Her experiences navigating the challenges of an aging parent and what supported her most * How creating a personal manifesto can offer clarity and direction * The idea of “purpose with a little “p” and why it can feel more accessible and fulfilling. * The difficulty, and necessity, of letting go of identity at different stages of life * Why reinvention is so hard": there is no formula, no clear path and no “instruction manual” * How fear and discomfort show up in times of change and why the outcome often surprises us