Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises

Lori's Story

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/fan_mail/new] Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.   I would like to share a possible trigger warning, Lori will talk about childhood abuse and briefly mentions suicidal thoughts. If you or anyone you know is struggling please reach out to 988 via text or phone for help! Today I am honored to share Lori’s story, as a Late Discovery Donor Conceived Person, she will share how, from a very early age she was looking for that genetic mirroring, recognizing that she didn’t look like anyone in her family, even asking if she was adopted.  Children don’t realize what is missing necessarily, however we do notice and pick up on differences very early on.  When Lori suggested to her parents that maybe her Dad was adopted, they both went along with that….versus using that opportunity to be honest, share the truth before finding out from strangers. They had so many opportunities to tell the truth yet they refused to.  As a child Lori learned to be invisible, her mother wasn’t loving or affectionate.  Lori felt that her mother wanted to have children but didn’t want to be a “mom”. She never received what she needed. Lori is very open about her tough childhood and the relationships she has with her parents as well as her brother.  She also share the positives she has found in this discovery! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story Lori! Hiraeth Hope & Healing retreats: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/retreats [https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/retreats] Here are the links to hear Lori’s other podcast interviews: The Inconceivably Connect Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-6-the-power-of-denial-and-dna/id1813869123?i=1000713065302 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-6-the-power-of-denial-and-dna/id1813869123?i=1000713065302] NPE Stories with Lily Wood: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loris-story/id1464478802?i=1000726533855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loris-story/id1464478802?i=1000726533855]  Everything’s Relative with Eve Sturgis: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lori-biology-101-brown-eyes-and-big-feet/id1459167540?i=1000439769354 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lori-biology-101-brown-eyes-and-big-feet/id1459167540?i=1000439769354] If you would like to connect with Lori’s personally you can find her on Instagram at @ journe2me or on Facebook @Lori Tirado. Her professional pages are :  Instagram @longislandtastees or Facebook @longislandtastees. Lori’s “Hugs” that she shares at retreats for everyone to keep with them! Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

"Spicy Scott's" NPE Story

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/fan_mail/new] Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.   Today “Spicy Scott” is sharing her story for the first time!   To protect her identity she is choosing to go by “  Spicy Scott”.   And here is your trigger warning as suicide is mentioned in her story.  If you or anyone you know is struggling with the thought of suicide please call or text 988, the Suicide and crisis lifeline. She learns that her mother’s “friend” would end up being her biological father.  She does have some memories of him, but just as her friend, nothing more.   Spicy Scott provided a lot of care for her mother growing up and what seems like adult roles in their relationship; physically, emotionally and even professionally.  She has struggled with boundaries as she became an adult. In 2006 her relationship with her mother changed, she continued this difficult relationship while her mother continued to cross boundaries and do inappropriate things.  Spicy Scott found spiritual healing in 2014, prior to her discovery and continued to find comfort through her NPE discovery.  She also discusses Ancestral Healing, working with a shaman all a part of her healing journey. She also talks about not recognizing her face during Zoom calls, so many of us within this community can relate to that.  If you would like to connect with “Spicy Scott” please reach out to me at mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com [mothersliesanddnasurprises@gmail.com] and I will get you in contact. Thank you “Spicy Scott” for sharing your story with all of us!    Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

Jess's Story

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/fan_mail/new] Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.   Today Jess is sharing her story for the first time!   Jess shares the phrase, “Community is therapy” and that is so true for so many of us, within this community and so many others as you will learn. Many times within this community we talk about how important receiving medical information is for us when reaching out to our new families, Jess’s story is an example of the dangers for so many of us that don’t have one or both sides of our biological families medical histories…..Imagine being diagnosed with breast cancer not once but twice!  And your mother still doesn’t share your paternal truth! At age 39 Jess was first diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and again at age 44 with metastatic breast cancer, and still after these diagnosis her mother still chose to not share the truth about Jess’s parentage.  And later when Jess did a DNA test as part of the breast cancer study, she grew up believing she was 100% Ashkenazi Jew, she brought up her ethnic results with her mother, and once again her mother still didn’t tell her the truth.   While having an identity crisis, Jess will share how learning this truth caused her to grieve the loss of her Dad all over again! Finding community and therapy through her breast cancer journey helped her realize very quickly in her DNA surprise that she needed to find community and therapy again! How many of us commit to raising our children very differently then we were raised?  From a very early age we recognize this isn’t healthy or doesn’t feel good and decide we want better for our children.  Although I can speak for myself that I’ve made many mistakes along the way but I know I did do better and I hope my children do even better! Setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, and to not live your life for someone else….Jess offers some great advice for others going through this!  Jess shows we can care for our mothers from afar, she makes sure her mother is well cared for by coordinating her needed care while also keeping her no contact boundary! Thank you Jess for sharing your story with all of us!  Jess’s contact: Instagram – my_mindful_mbc_life Facebook – @my.mindful.mbc.life Email - Jessfioretti8@gmail.com   Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay

Mother's Day Reach out

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/fan_mail/new] As so many of us struggle with Mother's Day I wanted to send out a quick message reminding everyone you are not alone and I hope you are taking care of yourself on this Sunday!  Stacy

Amy's Story

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2531455/fan_mail/new] Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.   Again before I introduce today’s episode I want to remind anyone who still wants to be part of an amazing project for NPEs there is a few more days until submissions close for this year’s collage. The project is The Faces of NPE Project, which includes faces of NPEs who submit their photo as a visual representation to help grow awareness and open thoughtful, respectful dialogue around our experiences.    If you choose to participate, you only need to submit once.  Your photo becomes part of an ongoing collage that continues to grow each year.   Submissions for this year’s project close May 13th, with the release happening in June for NPE awareness month. If you would like to be included, please email Carmen at photos@facesofNPEproject.com [photos@facesofNPEproject.com]. Thank you! Now for today’s episode…..I am sharing Amy’s story for the first time!    False names, dead end searches…all before Google and at home DNA testing.  Amy had always been told the name of her “Father” was James McCarthy from PA. In Jr. High she became more curious and started asking her mom more questions about who her dad was, she told her she looked like him, artistic like him, driving more curiosity about her Father. This desire drove her to want to find him.  Fast forward to at home DNA testing, and having a husband who also didn’t know his father, she was determined to find him.   Amy will share the emotions that she’s had to process along the way, finding and then losing a half-sister and also her mother’s death. Here is a quote that Amy refers to in our conversation so I wanted to share it here also:  “Strange as it may seem, many people are still controlled by their parents after their deaths. The ghosts that haunt them may not be real in a supernatural sense, but they’re very real in a psychological one. A parent’s demands, expectations, and guilt trips can linger long after that parent has died.” Some great advice that Amy shares is to have realistic expectations versus reality, but be open and prepared.  No matter what happens she will be ok! Thank you Amy for sharing your story with all of us! And I cannot wait to hear how your CA visit goes!  Here are the books Amy and I referenced: “Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life” by Susan Forward with Craig Buck  “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD Here is the link for the Hiraeth Hope And Healing search angels: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/search-angels [https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/search-angels] Amy’s contact: Substack or Threads – AmyJoNC Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay