Remake Schmemake

Godzilla (1954)

Most people have seen at least one Godzilla movie. Everyone's heard the unmistakable roar. But the first (and Charles thinks the best, much to Joseph's chagrin) is the original, the Numero Uno, the Ichiban: Gojira 1954 from Japan, directed by Ishiro Honda! This mean-ass monster, conceived and hatched in the ocean depths during the aftermath of the initial terrors of the Nuclear Age, spawned it all -- countless sequels, reimaginings, and reboots over the past 60 years. No CGI here, just a guy in a rubber suit stomping on miniature cities, and we (make that Charles) couldn't be happier. Joseph just rolls his eyes. Godzilla theme by Akira Ifukube. Remake Schmemake theme music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠JuliusH⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/music/adventure-adventure-movie-animation-soundtrack-1230/] from ⁠⁠⁠⁠Pixabay⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/users/juliush-3921568/?tab=audio&pagi=1].

The Grudge (2004)

The English counterpart, The Grudge, takes us to America--no, wait. This remake takes place in Japan as well, in a similar house, and helmed by the same director, with the same murderous trio of obake! The only difference is that now there are a bunch of American expats around who are even less able to cope with it all. There's Sarah Michelle Gellar's pensive and perplexed expressions (which she refined during the Buffy years), Bill Pullman's brief but effective cameo, and plenty of floating black Medusa hair. There are also spooky eyes...thanks to Grace Zabriskie's Thousand Yard Stare™️! Remake Schmemake theme music by ⁠⁠⁠JuliusH⁠⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/music/adventure-adventure-movie-animation-soundtrack-1230/] from ⁠⁠⁠Pixabay⁠⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/users/juliush-3921568/?tab=audio&pagi=1].

Ju-On (2002)

Nobody does horror quite like Japan, and it's fascinating to see the original Grudge before the Americans got ahold of it. This also serves as a reminder of the importance of full disclosure in real estate! Join us as we watch various unfortunate well-meaning Nihonjin try to cope with a raven-haired glottal fly wraith mom, a catty kid in eyeliner, and a nail-biter of a dad. And if the visuals don't creep you out, the soundscape surely will. Bonus: Charles thinking he has even a rudimentary command of Japanese, and his husband Tom setting things right. Soooo desu. Themes from Ju-On by Shiro Sato. Remake Schmemake theme music by ⁠⁠JuliusH⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/music/adventure-adventure-movie-animation-soundtrack-1230/] from ⁠⁠Pixabay⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/users/juliush-3921568/?tab=audio&pagi=1].

Beauty and the Beast (2017)

In keeping with Disney’s trend (for better or worse) of remaking its animated features as live action/CGI curiosities, we jump now to 2017 with Beauty and the Beast! Gasp and recoil with us as we take in Emma Watson’s two (perhaps 2.5) expressions and stooped shoulders, the monochromatic color palette, and the scary facelessness of the enchanted objects. Were those spoilers that we didn’t like it as much? Find out here! Belle music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman. Remake Schmemake theme music by ⁠⁠JuliusH⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/music/adventure-adventure-movie-animation-soundtrack-1230/] from ⁠⁠Pixabay⁠⁠ [https://pixabay.com/users/juliush-3921568/?tab=audio&pagi=1].

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

DaBoyz are back after a loooooong hiatus! And for our reintroduction to our worldwide audience (hello Yemen!), we chose Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, the groundbreaking animated feature from 1991 and the first animated film to be nominated for the Academy Award® for Best Picture! Join us as we discuss the splendid artwork, the Many Faces of Belle, and Jo Anne Worley’s star turn as the Wardrobe (among other attractions, of course). Unfortunately, we also discover that Charles is completely unable to say the name Cogsworth. Belle music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman. Remake Schmemake theme music by ⁠JuliusH⁠ [https://pixabay.com/music/adventure-adventure-movie-animation-soundtrack-1230/] from ⁠Pixabay⁠ [https://pixabay.com/users/juliush-3921568/?tab=audio&pagi=1].