Soberly Speaking

Coercive Control, a Life Sentence & Finding Love in Prison: Peter Bates

Peter Bates [https://www.instagram.com/petebatesproject/] was just a child when his father poured petrol over him and his mother to stop her from leaving. Extreme violence, coercive control, and fear shaped Peter’s childhood, but home wasn’t the only place he was unsafe. At school, he experienced SA at the hands of a male teacher.  Desperate to escape the violence, Peter found himself homeless at a young age. But after a tragic accident led to the loss of an innocent young life, Peter was sentenced to life in prison, believing his own life was effectively over too. Instead, prison became the place where Peter began to change.  Peter is now a passionate advocate for domestic violence and coercive control. You can connect or work with Peter Bates below;    [https://petebatesproject.com/]https://petebatesproject.com/ [https://petebatesproject.com/]  [https://petebatesproject.com/] Instagram: @petebatesproject [https://www.instagram.com/petebatesproject/] TRIGGER WARNING: domestic violence, coercive control and suicide discussed in detail. Please listen with care. Ready to share your story? Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au] Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised. The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline]https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0] Creator & Host- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Julia Rangiheuea⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@juliarangiheuea?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] Image & Logo- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jasmine Rule⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/jas_rule/?hl=en] In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

The Cycle of Violence and Abandonment: Luke's Story

Growing up around addiction, instability and an absent father shaped the course of Luke’s life long before he understood it. In this episode, Luke speaks openly about avoiding accountability and the impact his behaviour had on the people around him during the darkest periods of his life. Beneath it all was a lifelong search for love, validation and escape. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses suicide, mental health struggles, violence and domestic violence. Please watch with care. Ready to share your story? Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au] Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised. The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline]https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] Creator & Host- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Julia Rangiheuea⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@juliarangiheuea?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] Image & Logo- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jasmine Rule⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/jas_rule/?hl=en] In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

The Hidden Grip of Pokies: How a Mum of Six Nearly Lost Everything

If a mum of six can walk into her local pub and lose hundreds of thousands on a poker machine, where does the responsibility actually sit? Is it the machines, engineered to be addictive? The system that allows them to exist in every pub and club across the country? Or the individual sitting in front of them? In this episode I sit down with Kate Seselja, [https://www.instagram.com/the.hope.project/] founder of The Hope Project, who shares her 15-year experience of gambling harm inside Australia's pokies crisis. She opens up about pulling money from her family business and mortgage just to keep playing, and what it actually cost her and her family. I also bring in a political voice. NSW Greens MP Cate Faehrmann [https://www.instagram.com/greencate/] joins to break down what is really happening, or not happening, in parliament when it comes to poker machine reform in Australia. Follow The Hope Project on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/the.hope.project/] Follow Cate Faehrmann on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/greencate/] Ready to share your story? Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au] Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised. The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline]https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] Creator & Host- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Julia Rangiheuea⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@juliarangiheuea?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] Image & Logo- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jasmine Rule⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/jas_rule/?hl=en] In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Are You Addicted to Chaos? with Drew Wild

You stopped drinking. You changed your habits. So why does it still feel like something is missing?Work, the gym, your phone, the constant chase for more… sometimes the patterns just shift rather than disappear.Trauma Therapist Drew Wild is back on the podcast to go deeper into what might be sitting underneath it all. We talk about the root of these patterns, why we can stay stuck in certain cycles, and what it takes to actually move forward.We also get honest about the identities we outgrow but feel scared to leave behind, our relationship with money and validation, and what you truly want when you strip everything back.Follow Drew Wild on Instagram: @drew_wild [https://www.instagram.com/drew_wild/]Book a session with Drew Wild HERE [https://calendly.com/hello-drewwild/reset?utm_id=97760_v0_s00_e0_tv4&month=2026-04]Creator & Host: ⁠⁠Julia RangiheueaReady to share your story? Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

The Secret Inside the Family: Understanding Tanisha’s Substance Use

Trigger warning: This episode discusses child SA within a family, domestic violence and su*cide. Listener discretion is advised. Support resources are listed below. As a teenager, when Tanisha tried to speak her truth, she was not believed by those closest to her. That silence left her carrying a deep emotional weight alone. Over time, she entered a difficult and unsafe relationship, and in that period she began using cash advances to obtain substances, believing she would not have a long future. When the money ran out, she turned to alcohol, believing it was a more socially accepted way to cope. What started as occasional drinking gradually became more frequent. It wasn’t until she began therapy that she was able to reframe her past, reflect on her experiences, and slowly move toward sobriety. Follow Tanisha on Instagram: @t_soberclub [https://www.instagram.com/t_soberclub/] Creator & Host: Julia Rangiheuea [https://www.instagram.com/juliarangiheuea/] Ready to share your story? hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au [hello@soberlyspeaking.com.au] Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we aim to present these narratives accurately, the views expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, are not responsible for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised. If this episode has brought up anything for you, support is available: * 1800RESPECT (24/7): 1800 737 732 * Lifeline (24/7): 13 11 14 * Bravehearts: 1800 272 831 * National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline (24/7): 1800 250 015 If you’re outside Australia, please reach out to your local support services. In the spirit of reconciliation, Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.