The Dad Manual

1. From Lemonade Stands to MBA: A Father's Guide to Raising Lions

What if the most powerful classroom for your kids was the breakfast table every single morning? Tony sits down with Jay Bourgana — entrepreneur, turnaround consultant, and founder of the Raising Lions community — to explore a radically intentional approach to fatherhood. Jay shares how daily two-hour morning conversations with his 10 and 12-year-old children have become the engine behind one of the most active and engaged communities in the parenting podcast space. From lemonade stands to product-market fit, from ikigai to the theory of constraints, Jay packages adult-level wisdom into real, actionable experiences for kids — and for the dads raising them. Key Takeaways: * Why getting involved from day one of fatherhood is non-negotiable — and why you can't re-engage later if you disengage early * How to teach children the three non-negotiables: health, wealth, and relationships — and why "wealth" isn't about money, it's about freedom * The three types of capital every dad can transfer to his kids: financial, intellectual, and relational — and why relational capital matters most * Why autonomy, mastery, and purpose (Daniel Pink's Drive) are the real motivators for children — and how to use them * How to identify every child's natural "superpower" and channel it toward entrepreneurship and value creation * Why small business ventures teach responsibility better than almost anything else — and how to sequence those lessons as kids grow * The four business profiles kids fall into (leader, salesperson, product manager, systems manager) — and how knowing them builds teamwork and self-awareness * How to build a kids' business school from scratch: goal-setting, conversion rates, product-market fit — explained to a 10-year-old * Why dads must step into leadership the moment their child is born — not wait until the kid can "talk" * The concept of raising value creators, not consumers — and why that distinction changes everything about how kids show up in the world If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com [dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/] 00:00 Intro & Jay's opening lesson 01:37 About Jay's kids & Raising Lions 03:53 Morning rituals: 7–9am with the kids 06:11 Entrepreneurship: nature vs. nurture 08:51 Lemonade stands & creating incentives 10:33 Health, wealth & relationships framework 12:41 Packaging adult concepts for kids 14:49 Autonomy, mastery & purpose (Daniel Pink) 17:30 Responsibility earns freedom 19:58 Visualizing responsibility for kids 21:35 How quickly kids connect to purpose 23:20 Teaching cost of goods & unit economics 25:19 Product-market fit as a kids' lesson 27:15 From gross margin to capacity planning 30:00 Jay's background: Morocco to Morocco to M&A 35:03 The entrepreneur's real freedom 36:00 Three types of capital to pass down 38:18 Pour into kids early: beat the clock 40:41 Raising givers, not takers 42:01 Rethinking education post-Covid 44:00 Ikigai & finding a child's superpower 46:00 The four business profiles in kids 47:56 The kids' business school explained 51:00 Setting goals, conversion rates & action 54:53 What 30 years of entrepreneurship taught 56:11 Purpose as protection from trauma 58:18 Paper bills, grocery runs & real money 1:01:03 Advice for brand new dads 1:05:25 Wrap-up & how to find Jay

Ep 21: What Boarding School Taught Me About Being a Better Father

What does a British boarding school, a bucket of talcum powder, and men's work have to do with becoming a great dad? Tony sits down with Steven Fielding — father of two teenage sons, men's work facilitator, and someone who has done the deep interior work to understand how his past shaped his parenting. Steven opens up about growing up with an absent father, being sent to boarding school at 10, navigating divorce while keeping his boys at the center, and why intentional fatherhood starts long before your first child arrives. Key Takeaways: * Early hands-on involvement — diapering, feeding, swaddling — pays real dividends in your relationship with your kids years later * The psychological imprint of childhood separation, including "boarding school syndrome," can follow men well into adulthood * Teenage boys need a father who is stepping back strategically, not battling them — your job shifts from protecting to supporting * It's never too late to take responsibility and apologize to your kids for moments you could have handled better * Co-regulation and nervous system awareness are practical parenting tools, not just therapy concepts * Men's work and brotherhood aren't just personal development — they make you a better father * Devices and screen time are a real challenge; the answer isn't panic, it's redirecting focus to what you can control in your own household * Separation and divorce don't end your job as an intentional father — how you show up after matters just as much * Communicating your needs without neediness is a skill — and one worth developing before you're in crisis * Start the interior work early. Create a list of intentions before you become a dad. Lead. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com [dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com]. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/] * (00:00) - – Cold open: Boarding school * (00:20) - – Tony introduces Stephen Fielding * (01:22) - – Steven's two sons: Nick (18) and Max (16) * (02:48) - – Fathering teenagers: patience and letting go * (04:39) - – The men you want them to become * (05:56) - – Being hands-on from day one * (07:36) - – Growing up: absent father, affectionate mother * (09:02) - – Sent to boarding school at age 10 * (11:07) - – The headmaster: most influential male figure * (12:22) - – The lasting echo of homesickness * (13:03) - – Bullying, standing up, and the lesson it taught * (14:27) - – Boarding school syndrome * (16:05) - – Men's work and the capacity for brotherhood * (19:09) - – Leadership, giving what you want to receive * (19:54) - – Did he always know he wanted to be a dad? * (21:29) - – Nick's birth: capturing the first breath * (23:57) - – The moment responsibility lands * (25:08) - – Happiest Baby on the Block & swaddling * (27:50) - – What shifted in his marriage after kids * (29:44) - – No More Mr. Nice Guy and owning your patterns * (31:29) - – Communicating needs without neediness * (33:00) - – The Middle Passage and rediscovering your partner * (34:30) - – The talcum powder story * (36:47) - – The 30 minutes it took to settle Nick down * (37:52) - – Breath work, nervous system, and co-regulation * (38:45) - – Going back to apologize: it's never too late * (39:49) - – His father's advice: always keep the family together * (40:53) - – Advice to first-time dads * (43:26) - – Start the interior work early. Be intentional. * (44:16) - – Tony closes out with Steven

Ep 20: How a Tough Childhood Built a Better Dad with Daniel Ramsey

He runs four businesses and 3,000 employees — but his most important job is Dad. Daniel Ramsey is a husband, father of three, high school wrestling coach, and serial entrepreneur who has spent nearly two decades building an intentional family life from the ground up. Growing up with an absent, unintentional father, Daniel made a conscious choice to become something different — and the results speak for themselves. This is a raw, honest, and deeply practical conversation about what it really takes to show up for your kids. Key Takeaways: 1. Time is an expression of love — your presence is the most meaningful gift you can give your children. 2. Your kids reveal your best and worst qualities; embrace what they mirror back at you. 3. Breaking generational cycles starts with recognizing the patterns you inherited from your own parents. 4. Love is a verb — it requires active, ongoing effort, not just feeling. 5. Annual one-on-one trips with each child create deep, lasting connection. 6. The family dinner ritual (High, Low, Buffalo) creates a protected space for daily connection. 7. Becoming a father exposes your selfishness — and that's the first step toward growth. 8. Choosing to do things for your family that don't serve your personal goals is where real growth lives. 9. Modeling vulnerability and learning in front of your kids builds trust and teaches resilience. 10. Unconditional love becomes real the moment you become a parent — and it changes everything. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ * (00:00) - Welcome to the Dad Manual Podcast * (01:20) - Meet Daniel's Three Girls * (03:35) - Qualities Kids Mirror Back at You * (05:48) - Growing Up in Redding, California * (08:44) - Childhood Instability & Its Impact * (09:41) - Modeling Fatherhood After His Wrestling Coach * (10:32) - Love Is a Verb — The Lesson That Changed Everything * (12:04) - A Raw Moment: Learning Relationships Aren't Black and White * (13:51) - Hot Tub Conversations with His Oldest * (15:05) - Knowing When to Ask for Help * (16:51) - The High, Low, Buffalo Dinner Ritual * (19:00) - Annual One-on-One Trips with Each Daughter * (25:00) - Advice for New Dads: You Are Selfish * (30:00) - Unconditional Love — Before and After Kids * (35:00) - The Family Ski Trip: Eight Years in the Making * (40:00) - Choosing Jiu-Jitsu as a Family * (44:00) - Failing in Front of Your Kids * (47:16) - Outro

Ep 19: Girl Dad Wisdom: Building Trust, Traditions, and Unbreakable Bonds

What does it really mean to love your kids without conditions — even when it's hard? Tony sits down with Jason Wright — podcast host, girl dad, and self-described "nutty dad" — for a conversation about breaking generational cycles, building family traditions, and loving with reckless abandonment. Jason grew up in a home where love was conditional and performance-driven, yet made a conscious choice to parent completely differently. He shares the real and the raw: the stress he wore too tight, the heartbreaks he couldn't fix, and the nighttime rituals that shaped his daughters into the remarkable women they are today. This is a fatherhood podcast conversation that'll have you calling your kids the second it's over. Key Takeaways: * Speak to your children above their age level — treat them as capable and they'll rise to it * Breaking generational cycles takes awareness and active, daily effort — awareness alone isn't enough * Conditional love quietly programs children to believe they're not enough * Family rituals and traditions create a "stickiness" that holds a family together through hard seasons * Being a girl dad means modeling what a healthy relationship looks like — long before they date anyone * Love your future son-in-law intentionally; pouring into him protects your daughter * Wear your stress carefully — letting it steal your joy is one of the hardest fatherhood failures to recognize * You can't take your kids' pain away, but you can be honest with them and stay present through it * Never withhold love, even for a moment — especially when they feel least lovable * The goal of raising kids is to wind up with incredible adults you want to spend time with This is one for every dad who wants to show up better — today, tomorrow, and for generations to come. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ * (00:00) - Introduction & cold open * (01:22) - What kind of dad is Jason Wright? * (02:24) - Raising kids to become adults you love * (03:05) - Life with adult daughters * (04:55) - Introducing kids to music early * (07:12) - Gen Z and the loss of cultural breadth * (09:31) - Healing trauma instead of passing it on * (10:17) - Jason's childhood: broken home, conditional love * (13:55) - How generational patterns repeat * (15:03) - The role of faith and Mrs. Wright * (17:32) - Raising daughters who feel safe and worthy * (19:55) - The wedding song — "Two Steps Behind" * (20:45) - Rylan's upcoming wedding * (22:00) - Loving your son-in-law intentionally * (25:24) - The responsibility of being a girl dad * (27:42) - The unexpected hard parts of fatherhood * (29:28) - Handling a daughter's first heartbreak * (31:37) - The unconditional love you didn't know you had * (31:46) - Sharing a birthday with your daughter * (33:14) - Family rituals and traditions that create culture * (36:22) - Watching Father of the Bride every Father's Day * (38:20) - Advice for brand-new dads * (42:07) - Love them in the places they feel unlovable

Ep 18: Breaking the Pattern - How One Dad Rewired His Approach to Raising Kids

Two decades in, Kevin Button is still learning — and that's exactly what makes him a great dad. Kevin Button is a father of three spanning 21 years in age, and one of Tony Cooper's closest friends in fatherhood. In this conversation, Kevin gets brutally honest about who he was as a young father — ego-driven, reactive, and repeating patterns he never consciously chose — and how a quiet moment with his 3-year-old son completely broke him open. Kevin and Tony dig into the long game of raising kids: what changes between your first and third child, why the ego is the enemy of good fathering, and how becoming the dad you want to be is a daily, conscious act. They also talk about the rare gift of a trusted fatherhood community, the role of sports in building character, and why presence is the single greatest thing you can give a child. This is the kind of real, unfiltered fatherhood podcast conversation that sticks with you — whether you're 10 minutes into the dad journey or 20 years deep. Key Takeaways: 1. Your first child takes the brunt of who you were before you did the work — and that's a call to action, not a reason for guilt. 2. Emotion is a compass. When something doesn't feel right in how you're parenting, that discomfort is pointing you somewhere important. 3. The ego is one of the biggest obstacles to becoming a great father. Learning to put it down is a skill. 4. Children love unconditionally — and watching that play out in real time can be the most powerful catalyst for change. 5. Presence isn't passive. It's a disciplined, conscious effort — and it's worth more than any material thing you can give a child. 6. Parenting evolves across your kids. Who you were raising your first child is rarely who you are by the third. 7. Your kids are watching everything: how you carry yourself in public, how you treat your wife, how you handle conflict. 8. A community of aligned fathers is a rare and powerful thing. Other dads can become genuine co-parents when the values match. 9. Sports can build character or crush it — knowing when to protect your child from an environment that's gone wrong is just as important as pushing them toward competition. 10. The moment your adult child acknowledges you as a father is one of the most meaningful experiences of the journey — and it makes the hard years worth it. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ * (00:00) - Intro: Parenting requires constant shifting * (01:32) - Meet Kevin Button & family overview * (03:14) - Parenting across 21 years: the exhaustion and the joy * (05:31) - Generational patterns & what gets passed down * (06:36) - Kevin's childhood: divorce, stepfathers, and structure * (08:17) - Growing up without a strong father figure * (10:08) - What dads model in the small moments * (12:26) - Trevor takes the brunt of young-dad mistakes * (13:55) - The ego and the damage it does * (15:36) - Neural pathways and reverting to what you know * (17:04) - The garage meditation moment that changed everything * (18:36) - A 3-year-old's "I love you" that broke Kevin open * (20:35) - Kids love unconditionally — adults have to learn it * (22:58) - Building a fatherhood village with the Coopers * (24:01) - What aligned fatherhood friendships look like * (27:00) - Other men as fatherhood influences * (28:54) - Leo moves to North Carolina during COVID * (31:21) - What it means to trust another dad with your son * (32:47) - Sports philosophy: Trevor, basketball, and Waldorf * (36:23) - Ryland's AAU journey and knowing when to walk away * (40:34) - Shifting your approach between children * (41:51) - Boys protecting their mother — and growing up * (43:36) - The moment Trevor acknowledged Kevin as a father * (44:52) - Advice for new dads: presence above all else * (46:27) - Put the phone down. Slow time down. * (47:09) - Wrapping up: Eckhart Tolle and the Power of Now