The Tilted Halo

EP 63: Finding God in Your "What If" Moments

Ever noticed how two simple words—"what if"—can simultaneously inspire dreams and provoke anxiety? That's the fascinating paradox I, Pastor Kathleen Panning, will unpack in this thought-provoking episode of The Tilted Halo. Remember childhood make-believe? Those carefree days when we'd imagine being teachers, doctors, astronauts—or even pastors—without concern for practicality or limitations? I share how this childhood imagination contrasts with our adult tendency to restrict possibilities, especially in ministry settings. Drawing from personal experience, she illustrates how "what if" thinking transformed a simple church roof repair into an opportunity for substantial improvements that better served the congregation's needs. These moments of creative possibility represent the positive power of asking "what if?" But there's another side to these words. The fear-based what-ifs that can paralyze us: What if conflict divides the congregation? What if finances falter? What if illness strikes? I vulnerably share my own encounters with challenging ministry moments that made me question my calling. Yet, these very redirections often reveal unexpected pathways and opportunities for growth. The theological anchoring of the episode comes through a powerful reminder that Emmanuel—"God with us"—means divine presence in both our exciting possibilities and our greatest fears. Just as God remained with the exiled Israelites and walked with us through the valley of the shadow of death, we're never alone in our what-ifs. Ready to transform how you approach uncertainty? Listen now and discover how embracing both your hopeful and fearful what-ifs might reveal God's presence in unexpected places.

EP 62: Embracing Doubt: The Secret to Vibrant Faith

Doubt has gotten a bad rap in religious circles for centuries. Many of us have grown up hearing about "Doubting Thomas" as a cautionary tale – an example of insufficient faith rather than natural curiosity. But what if we've been approaching doubt all wrong? In this eye-opening episode of The Tilted Halo, I challenge the conventional wisdom that doubt represents spiritual failure. Drawing from Frederick Buechner's brilliant definition that "doubts are the ants in the pants of faith" that "keep it awake and moving," I offer a refreshing perspective, particularly valuable for women in ministry and leadership positions. Throughout the episode, I share some candid reflections on my journey through doubt – from wondering if I could ever become a pastor (especially when growing up in a tradition that didn't allow female ministers), to questioning whether I could complete seminary, secure positions, or make a meaningful impact. Rather than undermining her calling, these doubts continually drove me back to prayer, expanding my vision of what might be possible with God. For anyone who has ever experienced second-guessing or found themselves trapped in the "should have, would have, could have" cycle of self-judgment, this episode offers liberation. Especially for women in faith leadership who feel pressure to be perfect while knowing they aren't, my message is this: your tilted halo isn't a sign of failure but evidence of authentic engagement with your faith. Your doubts don't diminish your ministry – they might be exactly what keeps it vital, growing, and receptive to divine possibilities beyond your imagination. Ready to transform how you view doubt in your spiritual journey? Listen now, and discover how embracing uncertainty might be the key to deeper faith.

EP 61: Love grows where gratitude is planted

Gratitude transforms everything—yet in our demanding, rights-focused world, it's becoming increasingly rare. In this thought-provoking episode, we explore Jesus' Parable of the Money Lenders from Luke 7, discovering a profound link between gratitude and our capacity for love. The parable seems deceptively simple: two debtors, one owing 500 denarii (nearly two years' wages) and another owing 50, have their debts completely forgiven. Jesus asks which debtor will love their creditor more. But the context reveals much more—Jesus tells this story while a "sinful woman" weeps at his feet, washing them with her tears and expensive perfume, while his Pharisee host silently judges both the woman and Jesus for allowing her touch. Through this powerful narrative, we uncover life-changing truths: those who recognize how much they've been forgiven naturally express more gratitude and love. The woman demonstrated extravagant love precisely because she understood her great need, while the "respectable" Pharisee couldn't even offer basic hospitality. This episode will challenge you to examine yourself honestly: Are we creditors demanding repayment or debtors grateful for forgiveness? Do we recognize our own need for grace? I share a personal story of being unexpectedly forced out of a ministry position and how choosing gratitude—initially finding just one thing to be thankful for—gradually transformed my perspective and freed me to forgive. The implications reach far beyond religious settings. In a culture where gratitude seems scarce, practicing thankfulness becomes revolutionary. It opens our eyes to see blessings we'd otherwise miss and expands our capacity to love those different from ourselves. Even simple expressions of thanks create ripple effects that can transform relationships and communities. Join me in exploring how gratitude might be the key missing element in your ministry, relationships, and personal growth. How grateful are you—and how might cultivating thankfulness change everything?

EP 60: Breaking Free from the Boxes We Build

Have you ever felt stuck in a box of your own making? That nagging sensation that you're trapped in a role, a mindset, or a pattern that no longer serves you? I want to take you on a journey through the concept of breaking free from self-imposed limitations and reframing our past experiences. Drawing from my book "Tilted Halo: Exposing the Truth of Women in Ministry and Untold Stories," I share a powerful personal story about transforming a painful wedding memory through the simple act of perspective shift. I recount how a reinterpretation of my father's wedding toast demonstrates how we can be "freed from" negative thought patterns that have constrained us for years. The heart of this episode centers around the twin concepts of being "free from" and "free for." Through an engaging analogy about training a formerly wild dog, I illuminate how what initially feels like constraint can actually become the very thing that enables greater freedom and purpose. This isn't just philosophical musing—it's practical wisdom for anyone feeling boxed in by circumstances or their thinking. Whether you're a woman in ministry leadership or anyone seeking more authentic living, this episode offers a framework for identifying what you want liberation from and, more importantly, what mission or purpose you want liberation for. Ready to break out of your box? Listen now, then reach out for additional resources to help you identify what you want to be freed from and freed for in your own life and ministry. Connect with me on LinkedIn to continue the conversation about living with your halo proudly tilted—perfectly imperfect in your calling.

EP 59: Finding Your Path When No Map Exists

What happens when you're called to blaze a trail with no map to follow? For women in ministry leadership, this isn't just a theoretical question—it's the daily reality of navigating spaces traditionally dominated by men. I launch this episode of the "Tilted Halo" podcast with a powerful reflection on finding your place when there's no clear roadmap. Drawing from my experience as the only female pastor within a 60-mile radius of her first rural parish, I share the vulnerable story of receiving directions to "turn where the Peterson barn used to be"—a perfect metaphor for the challenges women face when following non-existent guides. The journey unfolds with raw honesty as I recount conducting my very first funeral service for a stranger, quickly followed by 13 more funerals in just 14 weeks. This baptism by fire reveals how women in pioneering positions often learn through immediate immersion, without the benefit of seeing others who look like them in similar roles. Though lacking in female predecessors, I reveal the unexpected sources of guidance that sustained me: scripture, supportive community members, fellow faith leaders across traditions, and most importantly, divine grace. My message resonates beyond ministry contexts to any woman creating new pathways in uncharted territory. Whether your halo feels perfectly balanced or perpetually tilted, this podcast offers companionship and wisdom for the journey ahead. As I'd like to remind you, with gentle assurance, "You do not walk this way alone. God is there, walking the road with you, and so are some of us who've been there before." Ready to find your way without a roadmap? Subscribe to the Tilted Halo podcast and join a community of women discovering their path in ministry and beyond.