UR INVITED !!! W/ MY MOM
UR INVITED !!! EPISODE 1 !!!
CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of physical/emotional abuse, queerphobia, racism, and addiction; sounds of chewing/eating, mentions of food and eating habits; profanity
(headphones recommended for "best" audio experience)
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HI THERE! HAPPY DAY AFTER MOTHERS DAY! I'M STARTING A "PODCAST"
(A.K.A. miss gender uses low budget equipment to document her life, and the life of those who have made her what she is)
THIS IS THE FIRST EPISODE OF UR INVITED !!! a (rehearsal for a) "podcast" in which you are invited to listen to conversations I'm recording on my phone! That is to say: give the quality some grace (or don't), there is much to be discovered if you can get past the fact that I am not a "podcaster", I just like to talk and am feeling an urge to make sure that there is evidence somewhere of how/when/what I lived in a way that is accessible to me !!! and it's all in practice !!! it's all a rehearsal !!!
For my first guest: MY MOTHER! Lea Jones, formerly Lea Calhoun, born (October 16, 1965) Lea Michelle Hall. She was, for several years, my best friend, and then for several years she was mostly absent from my life, and now (as she always has been) she is my mother. In this episode we talk about our husbands, God, growing up, living with my father, and we're both very sweet to the waitresses at my favorite restaurant (no gatekeeping here it's Kenny's Italian [https://kennysitalian.com/]).
I recorded this almost 6 months ago, but the last time me and my mom were on the phone we were talking about my work and what I've been doing lately, and she said something to me that really struck me. She told me how purposeful I sounded and spoke over me how impactful what I was doing is/was -- and to be clear she is my mom and I'm her favorite (sorry to my brothers lmao) so she has to say stuff like this -- but she went further to say something to the effect of: "if my purpose was to bring you into the world then that is enough for me".
How powerful it is for someone who created you, to tell you that you are their reason for living.
I think as I come more and more into understand what I am practicing (living) for, who I am practicing with, and what my practice/ing will grow into, it was really powerful to hear someone else really feel so dedicated to my cause as I am so dedicated to searching for something/somewhere better for all of us, and all of those I come/came from.
So I wonder: what is my purpose, and can I get there even if I'm not doing it "on purpose"? This conversation with my mother reminds me that I can only find the answer through trying, failing, giving myself grace, and going again. Everything else? I'm excited to figure that out when I/we get there.
XOXO,
MISS GENDER
